[zippinbye]

I just joined the forum and this is my first post. It looks like a wonderful information exchange. I look forward to learning and contributing. I was adopted at birth, and have become an adoptive parent in adulthood. Thanks in advance for helping with my queries.

I have worked for the same company for 15 years, essentially - about four years ago there was merger and we doubled in size. I adopted one of my three children 11 years ago, although see has been "mine" a couple of years longer than that. She's about to turn 16. My wife and I had two more beautiful girls, now 11 and 4. Adoption is not taboo to talk about in our family, but it never crosses our minds. All three are equals in every way. Every now and then we get to grin quite a bit, and my oldest daughter is proud to hear it, when a stranger says "she looks just like her daddy." I could go on and on about how wonderful my life has been due to the concept of adoption. But at the end of the day, whether or not my kids (or me) are adopted is nobody's business.

The 16 year old's adoption paperwork was turned into everybody that matters, including my employer, in 2001. Over the years, I have been asked to "verify" or "certify" my family members for the purpose of employer benefits. I have had to provide a marriage certificate and birth certificates at times. My name is on all three birth certificates. In the past, my company asked "is xxxx your natural-born or legally adopted child?" Answering "yes" was easy, and readily verifiable via birth certificate in all three cases. For 2012, the question is: "is xxxx your natural-born child." Answering truthfully leads down a path to the conclusion that she is no longer my certified dependent. In fact, a falsehood is claimed: "Your dependent relationship has changed." Which of course is pure B.S. But now I am required to fill out a life event change form and submit all the adoption paperwork, again. If I fail to do so by March, she will be dropped from all my benefits, including health insurance.

I am very upset to have our family privacy invaded. I don't understand why it's necessary. I cannot get a straight answer form my employer - it's a gigantic corporation with few opportunities to speak with a human, let alone an informed one. Does anybody know if this is a legal request by my employer? Thanks!

- Rich

[Fran27]

Oh my gosh, is that even legal? That's crazy!

[Mama2Gia]

WHAT?! BS is right. I can't believe that would ever be legal and I believe I would just answer YES and tell them to stick their question..well somewhere unpleasant. You don't need adoption paperwork- you have her birth certificate! You don't have adoption paperwork for your birth children so why should you need to supply them with anything more for your other child? Oh that so screams illegal to me.

[NSB]

I would just answer "yes." It's none of their darn bees-wax.

[gsxr-mama]

I would just answer yes also, leave all the other information out, it is none of their business.

[zippinbye]

Believe me, I pondered answering "yes" to the natural-born child question many times. But the penalty for lying is too great. She has significant medical issues - our annual family medical billing is a six digit number. We cannot risk benefit revocation for her, or for my whole family via job loss. I am federally licensed and monitored in my job. I am handed the reins to more than a billion dollars in liability every time I show up for work. There's a lot of scrutiny, but few "atta boys." In other words, my good deeds are expected and never go recognized, but faults are sought and vetted if they exist. While it would probably not just "come up" in routine affairs, a motivated query could determine that the adoption took place. After all, it should already be in the company records from 11 years ago. I cannot compromise in matters of honesty. I'm ready to tell them what I think, but I cannot tell a lie!

[LibbyHawkins]

I can't say on the legality, but I would just do what they require with the understanding that you won't be doing this yearly on the advice of your legal counsel.

Company records are not sold with the company, so even though there was a merger, they mostly likely don't have the paperwork.

[KLL08]

I had to fill out similar paperwork when my office switched insurance companies. It drives me CRAZY! They even went so far as to tell me they wouldn't cover our next child through adoption until the adoption was finalized! I guess the main office forgot I work with an office full of attorneys So I pulled the federal guidelines that we have to follow here that said our children are covered from the time we gain legal custody, which would be birth...had a coworker edit and off it went letting them know they'd hear from my attorney if they didn't cover our medical expenses for next child(our recent failed adoption was going to be a very early preemie). I got an almost immediate apology!

[racingwife20]

I guess I wouldn't be so upset about it. Did you complete the life event change when you adopted your daughter with your previous company? It's likely that if your insurance has changed, that the new insurance provider would require this information. If it's just a one time thing, and you've already got all the of required paperwork, I would just submit everything and be finished with it.

[zippinbye]

Originally Posted by racingwife20

I guess I wouldn't be so upset about it. Did you complete the life event change when you adopted your daughter with your previous company? It's likely that if your insurance has changed, that the new insurance provider would require this information. If it's just a one time thing, and you've already got all the of required paperwork, I would just submit everything and be finished with it.

This was a merger of equals, not a purchase, acquisition or takeover. The semantics of corporate consolidation are behind us ... about four years. Contrary to what one responder surmised, I believe virtually all records are intact. I viewed my employee file a few months ago. My initial application from 1996 remains in the folder. No change to insurance. Identical plan as last year (we have many choices and can switch if desired). There literally is zero family status change, coverage change or change in nature of the company. Is this probe for records a one-time event? I don't know. Evidently the company can demand dependent verification every year. Unless they change the question structure, I will be in the same position at this time next year if they opt to have a certification process. It is difficult to not be upset about it now, let alone if the cycle continues to repeat.

So the question remains, can an employer demand proof of adoption again and again? I have background checks by the FBI, TSA and DOT. None of them demand adoption proof. The Department of State does not demand it for passports, nor do other countries to which I apply for expedited border crossing authorization. A birth certificate with my name on it suffices. Why is my employer is the only entity on the planet that seeks documentation years after the adoption, documentation that has already been provided?

[Dickons]

There could be new legislation defining how long something is valid before it must be redone, OR it could be a mandatory requirement by the company or insurance company to ensure records are updated. I don't see what the big deal is honestly - so you child was adopted.

I would not lie on it because then your daughters insurance can refuse to pay because you lied on the form.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[mommytoC]

My husband's company required dependency verification for insurance this year for myself and our adopted son. It was a company wide requirement. We sent in a copy of our marriage certificate and a copy of his birth certificate with our names on it. I don't believe there was even a question about whether he was our child by birth or adoption.

It seems that the verification is rather typical, but I don't know why they were need adoption documentation. I don't think we have ever sent them a adoption decree, just the placement documentation and then a copy of his birth certificate. (I think?)

[RavenSong]

You say your 16-year-old daughter has significant medical issues and that her medical bills run into six-figure amounts every year. In the current climate in this country, I would give the insurer whatever documentation they require. Sure, it's nobody's business, but a lot of the information required nowadays could be considered nobody's business. If you don't want to risk losing your daughter's health care benefits, provide the info they require.

As far as mergers, go....yes, the personnel records are retained. When my former company merged, all of my personnel records, including employee benefits, remained on file.

Insurance companies look for any excuse to deny claims when they're paying the amount of health care costs your daughter is incurring annually. Stay on the safe side, and give them the information.

[Longing2bMom]

I would be a little upset with this too. You shouldn't have to show anything more for an adopted child than a biological one. The birth certificate proves that she is your child and your dependent, and beyond that is none of their business.

My guess is that this is just a carelessly worded form written by someone not thinking about the extra burden it put on adoptive families or the falsehood that is created no matter how the question is answered (i.e. either you lie and say the child is natural born or you lie and say a life changing event happened to you this year when, in fact, it didn't.). Maybe if you bring it to the proper person's attention (if you can figure out who that is), then they will change it for next year. As for whether it is legal, I don't know, but I certainly hope not.

[bluebonnet_72]

It seems like a poorly worded question. The question should ask if this child is a "natural child or adopted child" or is the child your "legal child." I see this mistake on forms all the time, and it usually a matter of a mistake on the part of the creator of the form. I would bring this to the attention of the director of human resources. My guess is that someone will eventually figure out the mistake and create it, especially if several people make a fuss.