[onetwothreefourfive]

I'm starting to feel old at the age of 30, which is pathetic. Almost every single one of my friends near my age have between 2 and 5 kids already and I have none (thanks, infertility!). I hate feeling like I'm "way behind" those people just because we haven't started our family yet. Drives me nuts that it can bring me down so much sometimes.

I'm thinking we'll be 31 or 32 by the time of our first adoption (we are in the early stages now).
So I actually have TWO questions - how old were YOU when you first adopted, and how many children did you adopt/are you planning on adopting?

[TxSW07]

We began the process at 24/25. We are now 27/28 and hopefully placing with our first next week. I get the feeling you have though. I have friends having their tubes tied, and I haven't started yet.

[Amber76]

I was 30 when we started our first adoption attempt and almost 32 when my first son was finally in my arms (lost a child in international adoption during that time). When I went to the first meeting for our Guat agency, I was definitely in the younger half if that makes you feel any better.

We have 2 sons so far and are planning at least 1 more-a girl-if we can manage the funds in the next few years.

I can honestly say that being in my 30s instead of mid-twenties when we adopted has been great for us. If we had adopted sooner, I would have had to continue to work. Since hubby was 5 years further along with his career, I get to stay home. 5 years makes a big difference in salary for him :-)

I do understand your frustration, though. My younger sister (by 6 years) had a child 3 years before me. My older sister (by 3 years) had 3 children, the oldest of which was 16 before I got to adopt once. Most of the people I went to school with already had 2 or 3 or more children. But when I saw my son, I KNEW without a doubt that the timing of his arrival in our family could not have been more perfect.

[Saya]

Most of my friends didn't start getting married and having kids until they were at least 30 -- I think it's a regional/cultural thing. I got married when I was 34, adopted my first child at 37 and my second child at 41. And now we're done! You have plenty of time.

[DPline]

I know where you are coming from. Been there.

I was 29 when I had my bio son after fertility struggles and 35 when we started the adoption process for our younger two. Especially when my youngest two were in preschool (in my later 30's) I felt older than dirt around all those early 20-something Moms. But honestly, I now know just as many parents of my kids' friends who are older than me as I do those who are younger.

Hang in there!

[Beth.]

We started in 2007 - I was 29 and DH was 33. We were the youngest family in our program at the time. First baby was born in 2008; the second was born in 2010. You have plenty of time!

[DrAmanda]

We had our (bio) daughter when I was 25 and DH was 28. We adopted our son when I was 30 and DH was 33. We feel our family is complete at this time. We've both had our birthdays since the adoption, so we're 31 and 34 now.

[onetwothreefourfive]

Originally Posted by Amber76

I can honestly say that being in my 30s instead of mid-twenties when we adopted has been great for us. If we had adopted sooner, I would have had to continue to work. Since hubby was 5 years further along with his career, I get to stay home. 5 years makes a big difference in salary for him :-)

This is actually the thought that I hold on to most days. My hubby didn't get his masters degree until he was 29, so even if we HAD had kids earlier, I would've had to work. By the time we have kids now, I'll be able to stay home, which is a big deal for us.

Everyone's replies make me feel a bit better. Though I do hope it's not horrible of me to wish we could have at least one bio child and to be jealous of those of you who do!

[mumofone]

I was 31 when we started the process and adopted our first baby when I was 32.

[minibus]

That's interesting that you feel that way. I actually feel like we are older in terms of being parents, but younger in terms of being adoptive parents. Most of the parents who have kids in my kids' daycares are our age or younger. Most of the people I've talked to in the adoption process are our age or older. I think that part of the reason for older adoptive families has to do with having tried other ways of family building and the financial stability and resources you need to adopt.

I was 32 when my kids first came home. We adopted a sibling pair, so we were done after that.

[Gwen72]

Hubby and I didn't get married until I was 30 and he was 41. We tried off and on for several years to get pregnant without success. I was 36 and he was 47 when we adopted our son W. WE don't think we can afford to raise a second child and we don't think we'd live through it either so W will be our only child. Relax, you have plenty of time.

[JeffreyMOhmes]

My wife and I are relative late bloomers. We didn't get married till I was 40 and she was 38 and then a couple of years of trying to get pregant and here we are with our 8 month old adopted son at 46 and 44. And we have no intention of stopping. By the end of this year we are going to have our home study renewed and start the process all over again. Although I dont have as much energy as I did when I was 20 I have far more time that I can take off from work when needed. I think after one more infant we will be looking to do some foster to adopt with some older children.

[jmd5294]

Remember that life is not a competition. I have friends who are my age and have 8 kids, and friends who are older than I am (I'm 34) and have NO children, and aren't worried about it, or friends having their first babies at 37. If we were all supposed to follow the same path in life, life would be pretty boring.
You will make friends with mommies who have kids the same age as yours--it won't matter how old everyone is as you are all "moms".

And to answer your question, I was 33 when I adopted both of my kids (adoptions were finalized 4 months apart).

[HopingGA45]

We were 32 when we adopted. We are not sure when/how we will have other children.

Don't feel bad. I think it has a lot to do with where you live and the people that you are around. I know that when we get together with our family in rural Indiana they all have like 2-6 kids and are under the age of 35. But, we wanted to get our careers and our lives stablized before we choose to have children. We are the youngest people in our peer group in Atlanta with a child under the age of 1. It just depends. Don't feel like you are old. You aren't.

[Fran27]

We started infertility treatments when I was 26. Ended up adopting at 29 (almost 30). Most of the childhood friends I'm still in contact with got their first baby at 30. My sister is still trying at 33.