[oceanica]

OK it's not a big thing but since you always have good advice for me I'll ask. Athena doesn't like to be in her stroller or carried anymore. Now that she walks well she wants to be out and I don't blame her. But if we go anywhere - for example, to the mall or Walmart or something - she won't walk with me at all. I hold her hand and she takes a few steps while trying to get her hand out and then she sits down. I have to bend down so her shoulder doesn't get pulled! Then I get her up and she sits down again rather than walk. Meanwhile dh is getting far ahead. If I didn't hold her hand she'd go in a different direction.
Usually I let her out of the stroller and she sits down 4 or 5 times, and then I finally pick her up, walk a little, repeat the process 6 or so times, and finally just carry her around.
The reason I ask is that I recently saw a video of veggiegirl's kid walking while holding someone's hand and she was very cooperative! How'd she get her to do that? :-)

[Stormster]

I would pick her up each and every time she sits. Walking is a privilege and if she can't do it properly she gets carried.

It took forever but now E holds hands. Remember they are fighting for independence so holding hands feels like torture sometimes! Still you have to make holding hands FEEL like the grown up thing to do...because they are being safe and responsible.

Loads of positive reinforcement while she's holding hands as well.

Oh and she may be a bit young but E prefers when I say "take mommy's hand now" than when i just grab his hand. Again, it probably makes him FEEL more in control!

[dutchmum]

For us another incentive to hold hands is by example.
DH and I always try to hold hands when we are out as a result DS wants to hold hands too. He is almost three and has no issues holding hands when he needs to. He knows there are times that the best thing to do is hold hands.
As for the learning to walk, when we picked DS up he was just shy of 14 months and walking by holding hands. The day we are flying home he decided that from now on he can do it on his own, no hand holding needed. We had lots of fun at the airport as new parents and a kid that is determent to walk every where.

[OakShannon]

I agree with Storm. Walking is a privilege and with toddlers, you have to be very consistent so that they know what you expect. Also, it's part of this age for them to want to have as much control over a situation as possible. So if she decides to take charge by doing a sit down strike, I would calmly pick her up and tell her that "We have to walk, now." She'll quickly realize that she gets to have her freedom longer when she doesn't do that. I don't think she's misbehaving. At her age, they just have no ability to get YOUR agenda. (That you have to shop or that you need to get home to make dinner or whatever.) So my strategy is to make sure that there are times when we walk and I do follow him: stopping wherever he wants to stop and going at his pace. But with young toddlers in particular, I think that if you put them down to walk, it has to be at a time when you are able to take their lead. I think she's just too young to be able to take your hand and walk with you at your pace to the destination you have in mind, KWIM? Maybe in another year!

I really try to let D take charge when I can, but without feeling guilty over those times when it's just not workable. Sometimes he needs to be in the stroller or carrier and if he fusses - well, then he fusses. I can sympathize with him "Yes, you really want to get down. You want to walk." But if I know that it doesn't work in that situation, then that's just the way it is.

But even when we are "toddler walking" David knows that the minute he tries to go in the street, dart into a store or pick up garbage, he gets picked up immediately! So he stopped those things pretty quickly!

[Fran27]

I agree too. When we let DS out, if he doesn't hold our hand or wanders off, we pick him up or put him back in the stroller.

[Cjmeck]

Good question! Neither of my kids were reliable about hand holding until age 3+. Some kids are more cooperative, some are going through a clingy phase, and others (like mine) are just clueless and independent, lol. Dh and I were watching a nature documentary and this momma duck had like 10 babies and they all followed her to the pond. I'm like "HOW DID SHE GET THEM TO DO THAT??" Dh says its instinct... Seriously, why don't my kids have that duck gene and follow the leader?

[aclee]

Tyler is anti hand holding...it gives me the privilege of carrying both kids if I wasn't smart enough to bring the stroller.

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by Cjmeck

Good question! Neither of my kids were reliable about hand holding until age 3+. Some kids are more cooperative, some are going through a clingy phase, and others (like mine) are just clueless and independent, lol. Dh and I were watching a nature documentary and this momma duck had like 10 babies and they all followed her to the pond. I'm like "HOW DID SHE GET THEM TO DO THAT??" Dh says its instinct... Seriously, why don't my kids have that duck gene and follow the leader?

Jen, speaking of the "Duck Genome" I think DS is lacking it too. Check out latest progress report from school: Ethan is doing well in school. He especially loves freeplay and the playground. The only issue I have is that I do have to keep an extra eye on him during transitions to different areas because he DOES tend to wander in the wrong direction. Myself and the other aides are aware of this so we always keep him on the right track.

Why am I not surprised!

[Cjmeck]

Originally Posted by Stormster

Jen, speaking of the "Duck Genome" I think DS is lacking it too. Check out latest progress report from school: Ethan is doing well in school. He especially loves freeplay and the playground. The only issue I have is that I do have to keep an extra eye on him during transitions to different areas because he DOES tend to wander in the wrong direction. Myself and the other aides are aware of this so we always keep him on the right track.

Why am I not surprised!

LOL, well, at least he is consistent at home and school You know, I don't think its a bad trait to not want to follow the crowd all the time. Maybe they'll be the only teenagers not smoking! lol

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by Cjmeck

LOL, well, at least he is consistent at home and school You know, I don't think its a bad trait to not want to follow the crowd all the time. Maybe they'll be the only teenagers not smoking! lol

One can only hope! As long as he does it by age 5 so they let him start kindergarten!

[jalapeno]

My DD was pretty good about learning to hold hands. I just absolutely didn't let her getting away with not doing it. My older DS still really resists it so he ends up being carried a lot. All my kids wanted to be out of the stroller from a really young age. It impresses me when I see a three year old sitting in a stroller. How on earth do their parents get them to sit still?? We didn't have much success with harnesses although I didn't really put much effort into it. But I did have an elastic strap that attached to my wrist and my DD's wrist. It didn't replace the need to have her hold my hand at times but it did help give her more of the freedom she wanted. I was very happy with it.

[veggiegirl]

You crack me up, Oceanica! She did it because that was her daddy walking next to her! Honestly, I'm surprised that she did it with all those people there. (Background for those who don't know - DD was in an adoption fashion show last weekend and walked beautifully down the runway while DH walked along side her holding her hand - he walked on the floor while she was in the stage.) I've been wondering when to let DD try walking through stores, etc. too while holding my hand. Today I let her walk with me once we got into daycare. She walked to her classroom very well. I'm scared to try it outside though as it's very busy with parents dropping off kids at daycare and the school across the street. I have no idea how I will (hopefully) soon get 2 kids and 2 diaper bags into daycare.... DD might have to walk outside. Either that or I'll pay one of my students/former students at the school across the street a few bucks a week to help me out in the mornings.

[oceanica]

Veggiegirl, she's very impressive! Oh and don't worry about getting the two of them in. It seems like a lot but it IS doable!

[mondk]

Oceanica: We got Joshie one of those monkey kid leash looking things. He of course had to stay within an arm's reach, but loved walking on his own without holding hands. Now he holds our hands and walks well....but we had to give him some freedom first.

Blessings, Michelle