[karaboo]

We found out about our emom through an email last winter. We used an agency as a liason for us and emom, and chose to use one of their SW to do our HS. We were halfway through it when out emom chose to parent her baby. That was about 3 weeks ago. Today we finished the last part of our HS. I asked her when the HS would be ready, as we have signed with another agency and want to get it over there ASAP. She said "Oh, I don't know that we share HS with other agencies."

???

We were under the impression that the HS belonged to US. We paid for it...a good chunk of change, I might add...and we would be free to take it wherever we wanted. She asked us who we had signed with, and made a kind of a snide remark about "the competition", as she called them. She said something about her doing all the work, and them getting all the revenue. DH politely said "Yes, but you get paid for doing the HS."

I asked her again when it would be finished, and she said she could probably get it done the next 2 months. I nearly fell over. I was *hoping* for like, next week, so we could start having out profile shown by the other agency. She said if we used her agency, she could go ahead and start showing our profile before the HS was complete, and could get moving on it if we matched quickly.

Is this common practice? We are so new to this, we aren't sure what's normal and what isn't. But it sure sent up red flags for us.

[loveajax]

OMG! Absolutely, you paid for your HS which can be used by another agency. If you find you can't "transfer" it or your first agency gives you trouble, please PM me.

[BeckyS]

We had our 1st agency do this to us when we requested a copy to provide to a different agency for our 2nd adoption. The 2nd agency wanted it so that they could basically just do an update. I had to insist and then when they did give us a copy, it had COPY stamped in red all over it. I firmly requested a copy without the stamps and they did end up complying.
That homestudy is paid for and belongs to you - definitely insist. As far as the long time frame she's giving you now, I personally would call her on it and let her know that I felt that was unacceptable and bad business.

[sbaglio]

Is there someone higher up whom you can speak with? Ask them to show you a written policy that corroborates what the SW is saying. I think you'e being taken for a ride.

[wanttoadoptmygirl]

ok so yes you paid and you should get a copy yadda yadda. We had to use 2 agencies as our agency did not do hs in our state so when the second agency was chosen it was for hs only. It felt like we were on the back burner the whole time with them as in they lost our paperwork (not the check they cashed though) then we finally got a sw who was going on vacation when she finally finished our interviews she said it would take 45 days it took closer to 2 months as they said they were waiting for our other agency to respond it took many calls emails and moving up the ladder before we finally got our hs. it took about 4 months and when I originally asked (before i paid over 2k) they said 6-8 weeks I think they even had all the fingerprints and everything back before we had a sw assigned to us it was crazy and stressfull now do we have to use them for postplacement to??? Oh yeah they refused to sign a letter saying they would do post placement without us prepaying for them. Since we dont have a match or know what state we dont know what will be required (luckily our agency waived the letter)

[lotsa_love_2give]

We purposly had an independent Social Worker to do both of our homestudies. He is awesome! Both times he assured us that if we got matched before he got it written up that he'd pull an allnighter. Sure enough stuck to his word!

Before we signed with our agencies, we had to make sure that they would "accept" our HS and both of them did.

Good luck!

[midnighttang]

I have 1 copy of my homestudy and I sent a second copy off to another organization. My SW gave me copies as soon as they were available and told me to call her if I needed more. It did take a little while for the final HS to get done and the last of it didn't get done until we called to check on it, because our SW left the organization and the new SW didn't know it hadn't been finished, but that was just a minor problem. I have a issue with the way your agency talks about "competition". I think that's why dh and I chose a non-profit that seemed very centered on the emom. I didn't want to feel like they were out trying to find us a baby. We were encouraged to sign up with other agencies if we wanted to, but I think they are a little afraid that we will, since we are only 1 of 2 families open to any race in their program. Your SW just sounds a little shady to me. You paid for the HS, it is yours and you should be able to get a copy. Heck, they let us proofread ours and make any comments for correction and then we had to sign the final draft.

[karaboo]

Originally Posted by midnighttang

I have a issue with the way your agency talks about "competition". I think that's why dh and I chose a non-profit that seemed very centered on the emom.

This agency IS non-profit. I know they have operating costs to consider, etc., but we were just so taken aback.

Our intention is to sign with 2 agencies...the one we are already signed with, and hers. But as you guys know, this sort of thing gets expensive, so we were going to wait until after Christmas to sign with hers. She said that was fine, but if our profile was being pulled to show at the other agency, they wouldn't show it at hers, and vice-versa. I don't know if that's normal or not either.

When we met with the agency we signed with yesterday, we were told not to panic over the HS...the attorney said that he would show our profile and if an emom chose us, he would light a fire under the other agency to get it complete.

Gah, I feel like my learning curve is straight up right now. Y'all please please please share your opinions. We are so new to this, and we feel very vulnerable because we are just ignorant about how most of this works.

[Fran27]

Non-profit doesn't mean much... It means the agency doesn't make any profit, but as far as I know nothing prevents them from giving out bonuses or raises with the extra money...

In my experience, a lot of agencies are fine with you working with another agency, and they will stop showing your profile when you are matched, not when you are only being shown... So I'm guessing that the agency just doesn't let you work with other agencies. I wouldn't say it's normal, but if it's written in their contract, there isn't much you can do, except not signing with them (and I definitely wouldn't).

[Waiting_for_my_baby]

It took as about a month for our homestudy to be complete. That homestudy belongs to you though!! If it were me, I would give the SW a couple of weeks and then start calling or emailing to see about the progress of the homestudy.

[midnighttang]

I think the attorney has the right idea. If they are willing to show your profile at the new agency anyway, I can't see that it would be an issue. I would think if you were matched, the HS agency would be pressured into releasing the HS and , worst case scenario, I know that quickie homestudies can be completed in emergency situations, so if you couldn't get the original maybe the new agency could just do a new one. I know it's not ideal, but I would hate for you to miss out on something because of this other agency. From reading about your conversations with your original agency, I just don't like them. They seem to be making threats to keep you from signing with anyone else and that's just not right. I wouldn't want to work with them personally.

[karaboo]

I really appreciate you guys weighing in on this agency. I ordinarily read people well and sense when something is amiss, but I don't trust my instincts a whole lot lately...the failed adoption threw me for a loop, and I am still recovering.

[Cjmeck]

We did our HS with a local agency (who also does placements, although very few). They were not too happy that we were taking our "placement business" elsewhere, but they complied without too much trouble. I'd go higher up on their food chain.

[horselover58]

Originally Posted by karaboo

This agency IS non-profit. I know they have operating costs to consider, etc., but we were just so taken aback.

Our intention is to sign with 2 agencies...the one we are already signed with, and hers. But as you guys know, this sort of thing gets expensive, so we were going to wait until after Christmas to sign with hers. She said that was fine, but if our profile was being pulled to show at the other agency, they wouldn't show it at hers, and vice-versa. I don't know if that's normal or not either.

When we met with the agency we signed with yesterday, we were told not to panic over the HS...the attorney said that he would show our profile and if an emom chose us, he would light a fire under the other agency to get it complete.

Gah, I feel like my learning curve is straight up right now. Y'all please please please share your opinions. We are so new to this, and we feel very vulnerable because we are just ignorant about how most of this works.

You sound like your having the same problems as we are in a way Karaboo. But as far as your hs copy, they are supposed to provide a copy to you so that you can circulate it if you want too. I had a hs done in Ga in 2008but they too would not send me a copy to use. I had to start all over here in KY. I finished the classes, had a first hs and now I am waiting on the final (i think) hs. But Lord, I didn't know it took two months to write it up. I know they are busy, but no wonder not many people adopt in the US. This is Adoption Month in case there are some that do not know. I would think that since this is adoption month, people would do all they can to get children adopted this month. What does everybody else think?

[Amber76]

Our homestudy agency wouldn't send us a signed official copy of the homestudy, but they were willing to send it to whatever other agencies we worked with. On the other hand, when we had a second homestudy done last year by a different agency and then our original homestudy agency called to ask me if we would be interested in adopting a second child through them, they refused to accept the homestudy our other agency did and wanted to redo another one for us.

It seems like all different agencies have different policies, but I would say the agency that did your homestudy should at least be willing to send an official copy to the other agency you signed with. I also understand why they wouldn't want both agencies to be showing your profile at once-we inadvertently had that happen and were chosen for 2 different situations with 2 different agencies on the same day. That made it really awkward to have to tell one mom that we had gone with another baby. When we adopt again, I'll be more careful to make sure our profile is only out for one situation at a time.

Hope you get it all worked out!