[loveajax]

I had a playdate yesterday with DD"s friend and her mom. We've known them (thru preschool) for a while and I guess I just "assumed" the mom knew DD was adopted.

Anyway, she starts regaling me with this horrific L&D story and asked if I had experienced something similar. I said, "Oh, we adopted DD." Her response: "Oh, I didn't know...anyway, blah blah blah."

What? No nosy questions? hahaha. Anyway, this sort of "nonchalant" response seems to be the most typical response I get lately and I guess I like it. I hate the nosy questions....and I hate the "sickly sweet" ones (one neighbor said when we were trick or treating..."oh, she is a CHOSEN child...how special!" I know she was well meaning, but I was like eek!).

[lovemy2boys]

The one I get OVER AND OVER AND OVER is

"Do they know?"

And I say "No. So please keep it a secret." and then I smile a bit to let them know I'm not serious.

[dawnrenee58]

I hate hate hate hearing, "Oh my, they look like REAL brothers!" I hear it all the freaking time. I just look at people totally deadpan and say, "Yep, too bad they are fake brothers." Usually, they get what I mean, but once someone had the gall to be annoyed with me for calling them out on it! Said I knew what they meant.......ok, whatever.

I do like it when people tell me how their lives are touched by adoption...it is cool how it affects everyone!!

[KLL08]

My favorite is like Lovemy's response...Will you tell her she's adopted?

I really have to try not to laugh because my husband and I are CC(I joke that I'm see thru b/c I hate how pale I am) and our daughter is AA(she has the most beautiful skin) ....hmmm...yes I think we will tell her!

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by KLL08

My favorite is like Lovemy's response...Will you tell her she's adopted?

i've gotten this one....with my kids standing right next to me! lol. where's the sense in that? if i wasn't going to tell them, i have to now, because you just did. dork.

[loveajax]

KLL, everyone laughs at my story about my (dearly departed) Dad who asked that we not tell DD that she was adopted OR black...hahahah!! (He said it was becuase he loved her so much and didn't want her to feel different....not quite grasping the concept, but obviously he meant well!).

Mommy, that's so funny because the lady with the "chosen" child comment asked the same thing, "Does she know?" I should have said, "Shoot, NOW she does!" hahahah

[Stormster]

My least favorite is "where did you get him" sometimes i want to say Costco or something. I always wonder if they think he's Russian or something. Whatever, I think it would be more appropriate to ask "where was he born?" I would much much much prefer that.

My favorite is the nonchalant "oh really he looks JUST like you!" but actually that pisses me off too because he really really doesn't.

I think my favorite is the oh really and just carry on. LIke it's just another way to make a family sort of thing.

[crick]

My favorite is always the "OMG! You are nuts!" because I just find it funny. I mean there IS some truth to that after all.

Usually I avoid it because typically I get the "sainthood nominations" and it's uncomfortable. Luckily if my kids hear that, they are quick to correct.

[KLL08]

Loveajax--I also got the she's not really black is she, I thought she was just tan? (Also from an older relative) I mean really people!?!?

[SupaModel]

Originally Posted by loveajax

, she is a CHOSEN child...how special!" I know she was well meaning, but I was like eek!).

Are sure she wasn't asking if she was Jewish??


I ran into a old friend at a bar sunday afternnon (don't judge) and she kept saying how DS looks just like me. I just smiled because she would die if she knew he was adopted.

[Gwen72]

My all time favorite is when people ask where we got W from and we say, "Cincinnati". 8 times out of 10 they will say, "Really? Cause he looks Ethiopian!" I want to say, "No, I'm pretty sure we just drove to Cincy. I would have remembered the flight to and from Ethiopia." However, I just smile nod.

[arkansas parent]

I used to get asked "where is did you adopt him from" (talking about my biracial son) They always seemed shocked when I would tell them Arkansas.

[OakShannon]

Originally Posted by Stormster

My favorite is the nonchalant "oh really he looks JUST like you!" but actually that pisses me off too because he really really doesn't.

We get that too, and even apart from coloring, my son and I don't look a bit alike. Do you think it's because this is just something people automatically say to parents of little kids? I wonder if they're trying to support the idea that we're really family or if it's like the comment, "He's so tall!" Which is another thing people seem to say to all parents and I've been told that many times despite the fact that he's really not.

Three separate times, when finding out D is adopted, I have had someone (in one case someone I had just met) offer to be a surrogate for us. Which is awfully generous. (And I doubt they meant that impulsive gesture.) But it also makes no sense whatsoever if you think about it. It wasn't the female parts we were missing, if you see what I mean. A third uterus isn't going to be of much help to us. But I'm sure they were just trying to be nice. . .

And yes, we also get, "Where is he from?" ALL . . . THE . . .TIME. Which I find somewhat less amusing that being asked if I need a surrogate. Gwen, I think to some people, all adopted AA children look Ethiopian!

[Nevada Jen]

My foreign exchange student just figured out that DS was adopted last night. I almost lost it trying to to laugh. My 4 year old says to him "Are you dumb? I am brown and they are white?"

My personal favorite was one of my drinking buddies from work (not really a close personal friend but we spend a lot of time together). His mouth dropped open when he saw DS and then wispered right in front of my DH, does your husband realize. . . I said, Dude! He's adopted! His response was "PHEW!"

SO I gotta say "PHEW!" is my favorite response to receive!

[Nevada Jen]

Shannon, the surrogate thing is hilarious! I wonder where the heck that comes from!