[Stormster]

Did anyone see the Supernanny that aired (at least in NY) on Sunday night with the 3 year old boy who constantly ran off? She used something called "The Roaming Method" while out in public where he had to hold onto Mommy/baby stroller if he disobeyed her STOP "command" but as long as he did obey it he could walk on his own near mommy?

I just don't quite understand how it worked. If anyone got that please let me know! Thank you!

[OakShannon]

I didn't see it. I've never seen Super Nanny but I've heard enough about her lately to be intrigued!

For a 3-year-old, that method actually makes a lot of sense to me. For a 2-year-old, I don't know . . . ? Do they have enough impulse control yet? But for a 3-year-old, you are rewarding their safe behavior (staying close) by giving them additional freedom (they don't have to hold your hand.) And they know you will take that freedom away as soon as they start being unsafe. So the consequence is logical, fair and immediately connected to the behavior. As long as the child has the ability to control the impulse to run off, I think it's a great solution.

[JenC]

I didn't see Super Nanny, but that's what we do in the stores. Josh is allowed to walk beside the cart as long as he listens to instructions, stops when I say, and keeps his hands to himself. If he doesn't, he goes in the cart. I know it probably won't work well for every 2 yr old, but it works pretty good for us. Impulse control is a bit of a problem, but managable. He'll get all excited about seeing the bananas (for example) and try to run ahead to them. He loves being "big" and walking.

[Lovebug]

We do the same thing with our almost 3yo. If we are at the Mall, etc, he can walk if he holds the side of the stroller, if he runs off, in he goes. This isn't the case in the supermarket yet...I need him in the wagon so it won't take 8hrs to food shop! Lol. It is starting to sink in and our "outings" are getting a bit more manageable. I'd say it's like anything else....consistency.

[Fran27]

It sounds like a great idea to me, but I guess I'm a bit confused about how you can actually force a kid who wants to roam everywhere to walk next to you holding your hand or the stroller.

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by Fran27

It sounds like a great idea to me, but I guess I'm a bit confused about how you can actually force a kid who wants to roam everywhere to walk next to you holding your hand or the stroller.

The boy was allowed to wander ahead a little but if mom felt it was too far or unsafe she called (in a big voice) STOP and put her hand up (for effect LOL) and he had to come back.

I'm telling you i may get instaflamed for this but i know a thing or two about dogs and 2 year olds are dogs when it comes to this part of parenting (the safety training aspect). I'm so 100% sure of this. I will say E is a border collie (smarter than the average dog LOL) but he needs this kind of parenting!!!!

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by OakShannon

I didn't see it. I've never seen Super Nanny but I've heard enough about her lately to be intrigued!

For a 3-year-old, that method actually makes a lot of sense to me. For a 2-year-old, I don't know . . . ? Do they have enough impulse control yet? But for a 3-year-old, you are rewarding their safe behavior (staying close) by giving them additional freedom (they don't have to hold your hand.) And they know you will take that freedom away as soon as they start being unsafe. So the consequence is logical, fair and immediately connected to the behavior. As long as the child has the ability to control the impulse to run off, I think it's a great solution.

Good point and actually as we were watching this kid I told DH "he's not that bad, E wouldn't listen like that now" I think for us 3 will be easier (even though i hear loads about how hard the 3's can be) but because safety is such a huge issue for us, i am optimistic.

[CaddoRose]

Originally Posted by Stormster

The boy was allowed to wander ahead a little but if mom felt it was too far or unsafe she called (in a big voice) STOP and put her hand up (for effect LOL) and he had to come back.

I'm telling you i may get instaflamed for this but i know a thing or two about dogs and 2 year olds are dogs when it comes to this part of parenting (the safety training aspect). I'm so 100% sure of this. I will say E is a border collie (smarter than the average dog LOL) but he needs this kind of parenting!!!!

I've always said that training a young child was like training a dog. So similar! Even if my 2 yr old doesn't understand the concept completely, this is exactly what we do. I don't think I can wait until she is 3 to teach her what I expect of her. When DD is told to hold a hand and decides not too, she is in the cart or the stroller asap. I had to do this yesterday. She fusses about it, but I just tell her she has to hold hands or she is in the stroller. It's really about repetition and consistency. Even if she doesn't have the self control yet, she is learning that her actions have consequences.

[Saya]

This method is basically what we use with A when we're on the sidewalks in our neighborhood. I think it works well for a 3-year-old, who is learning (slowly) about things like cause and effect and consequences.

[OakShannon]

Originally Posted by Stormster

I'm telling you i may get instaflamed for this but i know a thing or two about dogs and 2 year olds are dogs when it comes to this part of parenting (the safety training aspect). I'm so 100% sure of this. I will say E is a border collie (smarter than the average dog LOL) but he needs this kind of parenting!!!!

ROFL!

Caddo - I hadn't really connected the two - but you're right, we do the same thing. David's favorite thing in life is to, "Go walk." We just wander the neighborhood and he goes up and down steps, examines whatever strikes his interest, pets the dogs in front of the bookstore. He has his "spots" that we always go to. He HATES holding my hand, so I just let him walk for the most part. But he knows that if he gets too close to the street or tries to dart into a shop, I'm going to pick him up and put him in the ergo. So he very rarely does. I don't know that I'd try it in a busy mall, but for our normal outings, he's very good about staying close.

[robandjulie]

We do this with DS who is 2. He can run ahead or behind but he knows he has to be fairly close and that when I say "STOP! Too far, come here" he has to do that quickly or he loses his big-boy privledge of walking and I'll carry him for a few blocks. When we reach a street there are only 2 choices: Hold hands OR be carried. Otherwise when we're in safe areas (sidewalks) he knows he can run ahead a bit but has to 1. stay off grass (keeps his away from the street and out of yards) and 2. listen to me and stay nearby and that if he can't follow those two simple big-boy rules he has to hold my hand/be carried for a few blocks.

Note that we also hold hands and carry him around normally just as a choice and always when we cross streets so it's not a punishment, it's just a consequence. While I hold him I tell him I love him and want him to be safe and that when he goes too far/into grass it scares me and so I have to keep him safe. We also offer to hold him/hold his hand as we walk just as a pleasant thing to dis-associate it from being a punishment and we tell him if he ever WANTS to be held or hold our hands he can ask to try to avoid the "do this bad thing so I can get attention and be held" type of behavior.

[PersianMama]

I've never seen that episode, and I think most of her advice is awful. I do something similiar with my wild three year old, though. She always wants to walk at the store now. If it isn't too crowded, I let her walk while holding on to the grocery cart. If she runs away, I stick her in the cart. It works pretty well because I'm consistent. I don't spend an hour threatening-I give her one chance to mess up, warn her what will happen if she walks away again, then I follow through if she does. She screams and yells if I put her in the cart, but I just explain the rules again and keep shopping. She gets over it quickly

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by PersianMama

I've never seen that episode, and I think most of her advice is awful. I do something similiar with my wild three year old, though. She always wants to walk at the store now. If it isn't too crowded, I let her walk while holding on to the grocery cart. If she runs away, I stick her in the cart. It works pretty well because I'm consistent. I don't spend an hour threatening-I give her one chance to mess up, warn her what will happen if she walks away again, then I follow through if she does. She screams and yells if I put her in the cart, but I just explain the rules again and keep shopping. She gets over it quickly

We've always done this in parking lots. He has two choices, to be carried or hold hands. What interested me is that she let a 3 year old walk ahead of mommy and she let him get pretty far ahead before calling him back!

I do agree with you somewhat. SOME of her ideas are way too harsh for me. Time outs are WAY overused imo but some of her other ideas are good i think.

[KarenInCa]

I was unaware that it was a "method" but holding on to the side of the cart while she is good in a supermarket is how DD learned and mastered "Left" and "Right"
She would hold on to the front side of the cart and if we were going to turn left in to an aisle, I would say, "Turn left" and then she would move with the cart.
It worked for both keeping her by my side in public places at times when there is no cart, and also as a learning tool.

[ladyjubilee]

Originally Posted by Fran27

It sounds like a great idea to me, but I guess I'm a bit confused about how you can actually force a kid who wants to roam everywhere to walk next to you holding your hand or the stroller.

This works with Little Guy (autistic age 5). Basically, it gives him some control within boundaries. He likes being the "reward" of being independent and has a choice. He can be independent...with the only other choice being holding hands.