[rd200]

So, my son just turned 8. His behavior has been alot better, more mature the last few months, but his homework is a complete other problem. He just doenst bring home his homework. They have an AR book that they are suppose to bring home on monday and read every night, and then on friday they take a test on the book. He also has spelling words, they take a pretest on monday and then he is suppose to bring them home so we can study at home and they take their spelling test on friday. Well, the problem is... he just "forgets" to bring all that stuff home. He brings his book home usually tuesday and by wednesday his spelling words come home also. that isnt very long to practice his words, nor read a long book that he has a test on friday. I constantly remind him before he gets on the bus to bring his book home and his words home adn i think that maybe twice this school year he has managed to do both. Its getting very frustrating!!!

I cant say that his teacher is exactly very helpful w/ reminding him to do it either. I know that isnt her job to walk around and remind him everyday to get his stuff together to bring home,but on the other hand she knows he hasnt been bringing them home, so why cant she just ask him at the end of the day if he has everything he needs?? He isnt very responsible at remembering to bring anythign home. Homework doesnt always get home neither. i just dont know how to get him to be more responsible. he says he forgets and he cant remember. Well... to tell you the truth i cant remember anythig to save my life either. I feel bad sometimes yelling at him for not bringing the stuff home, since i have a hard time remembering things also, but if i really make it a point to get it stuck in his head by talking very loudly, he always remembers it the next day!!! But i dont want to have to continue that.

My thinking is, that i want to make a chart that has his AR book, spelling words, homework, and flashcards on it, and then everyday when he gets home, if he has remembered to bring it home, or after we get done practicing, or doing the homework, he gets a sticker in the colomn, and at the end of the night we add up the colomns with stickers and for every sticker he gets 5 or 10 minutes of TV time (not sure yet on how much time to give) He usually gets about 30 mintues of cartoon time a night after school. Right now he doesnt have to EARN that time, but if his behavior has been less than stellar, or he has forgotten a large majority of his homework, that TV time gets taken away. This seems to work, but its not really a way to help him get better at doing these things, he just thinks of it as... i cant watch TV tommorow but the next day i will beable too. ya know what i mean?? And then i was thinking if he gets all his stickers for the whole 5 days, then he would get a small reward for being responsible. Like say, Renting a movie, or something like that.

I guess my question is, Does an 8 year old really need a chart like this yet?? He's rather mature for his age, and i dont know if this method is too immature for a child in 2nd grade. The real kicker is that when he actually brings his stuff home, he does really good on his spelling and his tests. I wish i could get him to see that a little practice and dedication goes a long way. But he's still 8!!!!! Its hard to explain something like that to an 8 year old. Any suggestions???

[emtb79]

I know with my kids that I watched the teacher would ask at the end of the day to write down in their homework assignment journal what was for homework and then ask them to make sure they had everything they needed. Everyday day they a 10-15 minute time period to load up their bookbags.

All that aside I think a reward chart would be a good idea. K had a reverse chart because he just had a hard time remembering too. He would start with 30 minutes of video game time. Each thing he forgot he would lose 10 minutes. Usually he would 3 things for homework each night. His big reward at the end of the week was to pick where to eat out at.

[lovemy2boys]

Rach, my son is the same age and it sounds like he is responsible for the same things...A/R book, flash cards, spelling tests, religion/science/social studies study guides...

That's alot for a little one to remember, even the most responsible little one.

Does your teacher have the kids put everything in their home folder? AJ's teacher has a mailbox in the classroom for each child, and she reminds "the class" to put items A, B and C in the mailbox...At the end of the day, the kids are resp. to move the stuff from the MB to their Home folder...

If it wasn't for her method, nothing would be coming home, simply because my kid is so overloaded with what he's learning that some things just "slip". I am SUPER organized-always have been...but with all the stuff that goes back and forth to school? I slip as well.

Talk to her and let her know that you want to work together on this together to make the year successful for your son.

Implementing a reward chart could be good for him as well. GOOD LUCK!

[OakShannon]

I think sticker charts can work really well for helping kids get into a good habit. It gets them over the hump and it allows you to use positive reinforcement rather than nagging. So I would try it. Just the routine of checking every day and adding the stickers may help keep it in his mind that he needs to make sure he has his homework.

Also, if he really is just forgetting and is not avoiding homework, you might try writing a checklist of things he needs to remember before he leaves and putting it somewhere he will see it as he gathers his things to go. (Something clipped to his backpack or taped inside his desk?) Or a special homework folder that he can put things in during the day so that he remembers to bring them home. A system like Love describes is really helpful. At his age, some routine to help them remember what they need to bring home is a very good idea. If the teacher doesn't have something in place (which would be ideal) then maybe you and your son can think about what he currently is doing as he's getting ready to go home and come up with something to help jog his memory.

[grandmommie]

I don't think age 8 is too old for a reward chart. I look at reward charts as a tool that a kid can use to help them better organize their activities/time/responsibilities. As adults we use lists to help us stay organized all the time (grocery lists, to do lists etc...) we just don't get stickers and rewards when we've completed the items on the list. LOL

My oldest grandson (9) had this same problem "remembering" last year. After trying numerous ways to get him to "remember" this is what happened: He was allowed to suffer the consequences of not being prepared for school. He hated getting bad grades and was embarrassed by not being prepared for class etc... It took about a month but he soon began to "remember" to bring needed items home. He still forgets once in awhile but is much more focused on what he needs to do.

[rd200]

Originally Posted by grandmommie

I don't think age 8 is too old for a reward chart. I look at reward charts as a tool that a kid can use to help them better organize their activities/time/responsibilities. As adults we use lists to help us stay organized all the time (grocery lists, to do lists etc...) we just don't get stickers and rewards when we've completed the items on the list. LOL

My oldest grandson (9) had this same problem "remembering" last year. After trying numerous ways to get him to "remember" this is what happened: He was allowed to suffer the consequences of not being prepared for school. He hated getting bad grades and was embarrassed by not being prepared for class etc... It took about a month but he soon began to "remember" to bring needed items home. He still forgets once in awhile but is much more focused on what he needs to do.

Yes, i wanted him to just suffer the consequences of not getting it done, but he really didnt care!!! Not to the point where he felt bad if he got a bad grade, or that he was embarressed because he was the only one in the classroom with out it done. IT doesnt bother him really. the only place that got me was getting a call from his teacher!!! I wish he "cared" more about school. I cant blame him though, I HATED school with a passion. Wasnt very good at much and hated every minute i was there. Rach

[crick]

I think whatever tool works for an individual kid is my motto. I have a 7th grader who now has to remember what classes he has on a given day, future due dates to plan for etc. and in the beginning it was overwhelming. I created a spreadsheet to help him and I also give him reminders to check his online portal where he can check his assignments etc. At 12, one might not think he needs help organizing, but really...it's a habit to learn and they do need help sometimes!

[Whirled_Peas]

You may find this dvd interesting. He talks about the problems with reward charts:

Amazon.com: Unconditional Parenting: Movies & TV

[grandmommie]

Originally Posted by rd200

Yes, i wanted him to just suffer the consequences of not getting it done, but he really didnt care!!! Not to the point where he felt bad if he got a bad grade, or that he was embarressed because he was the only one in the classroom with out it done. IT doesnt bother him really. the only place that got me was getting a call from his teacher!!! I wish he "cared" more about school. I cant blame him though, I HATED school with a passion. Wasnt very good at much and hated every minute i was there. Rach

When it reaches this point then, IMHO, the teacher needs to be more involved in order to ensure the success of the student. It sounds like you, as his parent, are doing what you can on your end, and now the teacher needs to step in and become part of that team. Trying to figure out what will motivate kids can be like walking a tightrope.

Could the teacher e-mail assignments home? Maybe come up with a weekly homework assignment sheet? An extra set of books to keep at home? A folder containing homework placed in his backpack?

Just a quick thought(s): You say that he just isn't that "into" school and doesn't really like it. Could it be that he is bored? Are there any issues going on between himself and a peer(s) that may be impacting his feelings about school?

[Nevada Jen]

I am not sure the reward chart needs stickers at age 8. I think just putting check marks in the boxes would be enough. The idea behind giving kids stickers is the sticker itself is a little reward to keep them going to the bigger reward. Will he really think a sticker is a reward?

If you are not doing the homework folder that is a good idea. Get one of those plastic ones with where you can stick a sheet of paper on the outside and write out the list of things he should bring home on it.

And honestly, I think you have a bit of a teacher problem. Like one of the previous posters said, at this age I would expect the teacher to go over with them at the end of the day what they need to be doing at home as they pack their backpacks

[buttascotchbaby]

I had similar issues with my son when he was around that age, and now my 6 y.o. FD seems to be having a few of the same I just had Parent Teacher Conferences last week and was speaking with her teacher so this is a timely thread I spoke with her teacher about the possibility of taping a small checklist to her desk so that she can self police a bit. This really worked with my son so I am hoping that it will help her as well. One of her problems is that she has a homework folder but she keeps forgetting that! LOL I think sticker charts are fine too, but DO wonder, as PP said, whether the sticker will be enough of a small reward? Maybe the checks in boxes (leading up to a small, age appropriate reward) will work just as well?

Good luck & let us know how it goes!

[rd200]

Originally Posted by Nevada Jen

I am not sure the reward chart needs stickers at age 8. I think just putting check marks in the boxes would be enough. The idea behind giving kids stickers is the sticker itself is a little reward to keep them going to the bigger reward. Will he really think a sticker is a reward?

If you are not doing the homework folder that is a good idea. Get one of those plastic ones with where you can stick a sheet of paper on the outside and write out the list of things he should bring home on it.

And honestly, I think you have a bit of a teacher problem. Like one of the previous posters said, at this age I would expect the teacher to go over with them at the end of the day what they need to be doing at home as they pack their backpacks

yes, he has a homework folder. I honestly dont know if they go over the assignments at the end of the day. I would assume they do. He doenst have a very long attention span, and you can be talking to him and its like he's looking through you sometimes. He sits closest to the teacher so she can try adn keep him on task but i still feel like he needs more direction. I have conferences in 2 weeks, so hopefully we can get things hashed out then.

I am glad however that he's sitting close to the teacher because of needing a bit more attention to stay on task rather than because of his behavior. Last year, he needed some behavior adjustment in school, but so far this year we havent even had a note sent home yet. Thats pretty good for Caleb. Thanks for all the ideas.

[rd200]

Originally Posted by grandmommie

When it reaches this point then, IMHO, the teacher needs to be more involved in order to ensure the success of the student. It sounds like you, as his parent, are doing what you can on your end, and now the teacher needs to step in and become part of that team. Trying to figure out what will motivate kids can be like walking a tightrope.

Could the teacher e-mail assignments home? Maybe come up with a weekly homework assignment sheet? An extra set of books to keep at home? A folder containing homework placed in his backpack?

Just a quick thought(s): You say that he just isn't that "into" school and doesn't really like it. Could it be that he is bored? Are there any issues going on between himself and a peer(s) that may be impacting his feelings about school?

He thinks school is a time to play with his friends at recess and to socialize. He isnt having any problems that i know about, and for being 8, he still tells his mommy EVERYTHING that happens at school and on the playground. Which is good i guess, i figured by this age its not cool to talk to your mom about stuff like that. LOL!!!

I think in the back of his mind, he is very worried that we wont get picked (we are waiting for a match) and i think he stresses about it too much. He's a kid, i tell him not to worry about it, it will happen when God decides so. He mentions it to me a few times a week, and we dont talk about it much when he is around because i dont want it to be on his mind all the time like its on mine all the time. Maybe that is also distracting him. I dont know. Rach