[sbaglio]

Hello all,

Just thinking ahead here...have any of you with kids traveled a long distance to pick up your new baby? We live in MD, but would need to drive down to Texas, which is 22 hours away! We're debating whether to drive down the second time around because we'd have 2 kids with us (our DD would be coming along), we just bought a 2010 Honda Odyssey (love it!), and we'll have a lot of luggage, 2 strollers, and such.

I imagine that we would have to stop frequently to feed the baby, and to give our DD a rest (she's 20 months old). But we could drive more at night, hopefully, and take turns. And we wouldn't have the hassle of flying with 2 kids and a lot of baggage in tow. It may also turn out to be cheaper than buying several airline tickets, and leaving our car parked at the airport in MD.

OTOH, the thought of driving through the South is giving me the heebie-jeebies, to tell the truth, but maybe it's not that bad...?

If anyone has done something similar, or has some advice (pros/cons), I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts.

Thanks!

[Whirled_Peas]

I'm not a big fan of flying with little ones during cold and flu season. However, that is a REALLY long drive. A lot depends on your 20 month old. We just drove 6 hours with our almost 4 year old son and our 14 month old daughter. We had to rearrange the seats so I could sit beside the baby. We stopped for a couple hours in the middle of the day to break up the trip. Our 6 hour journey took almost 9 hours.

When our son was 12 months old we drove 12 hours over 2 days. Again, we took long lunch breaks and I sat beside him when he was awake.

Driving at night might work or it might backfire. Maybe you could do a test drive now to someplace closer. Even if you just drove 3 hours from home, turned around and came back for a total of 6 hours of driving.

If it weren't for cold and flu season I'd say fly. It would be SO much easier. (We flew from Arizona to Puerto Rico with a 2 year old and a 4 month old. It was easy. AND I was carrying a supply of frozen breastmilk and clothes for Puerto Rico and Christmas in Denver.) When we went to PR, we bought tickets so we stopped halfway and spent the night so we wouldn't have to have 14 hour travel days. That worked well until the way home when there was a storm and we ended up in the airport waiting for our second leg of our journey for 9 hours. The kids did great with that trip as well.

I do know that we cannot take advantage of our under 2 year old flying for free. She would not sit still in our laps for 10 minutes let alone a whole flight. She would do well in her carseat on the plane. When we went to PR, we did not buy her a ticket. While we were traveling 2 airplanes left the runway. I wondered what I would do with my baby in an event like that and I decided from then on I would buy a ticket for her rather than risk an injury.

[JenC]

We did! We just returned to IN earlier this month from FL. 18 hrs of drive time, not counting stops. I thought about flying, but the cost of air tickets, car rental, hassle, ect, just wasn't worth it to us.

I'll be honest. It was brutal. We have an Expedition, and it was packed to the hilt with movies for DS, snacks, all our crap, pillows, blankets, etc.

We got the call about Preston being born in the evening, so we were able to leave late at night. That helped, but Josh just didn't sleep that well. He would wake and scream for a few minutes every hour or so. He just wasn't comforable in his car seat for that long of time. By the time he was really awake for the day in the morning, we only had about 6 hrs or so to go.

Coming back, I imagined that it would take SWEET FOREVER to get home with a 2 yr old and a new baby. We did stop more often, but it really wasn't that bad. Every time P needed fed, we gassed up the car and had a little wiggle-room pit stop. We left for home during the day, however, and by bedtime that night Josh was already SICK of being in his car seat. It was a rough night for all us. Preston really traveled well, just waking to eat. Honestly, he was so tiny I was more worried about newborn headflop in the carseat more than anything else.

I don't know what your family rules are in regards to DVD's, snacks, etc, but we kind of tossed the rules out the window for the road trip. Sure, watch movies. I can't tell you how many times we watched Cars in a row...but it kept the 2 yr old happy. His toys mainly just got played with for a few minutes then tossed to the floor. He got juice, which is a road trip/special thing only. He got cookies at 2 am. Basically, whatever we needed to do to keep the peace in the car, we did.

In your situation, I have to advice as to driving through the deep south, sorry.

I did buy lots of little trinkety things for Josh to play with, but he's a bit older than your DD, he's 2 1/2.

Comfy clothes, familiar things from home...we packed Josh's favorite blanets and pillow and his most favorite toys. And for the adults in the car - nothing snide/snarky/angry/whiny said between the hours of midnight and 7 am count!

Good luck, it's rough. It was just as hard for us being in the hotel for almost 2 weeks, I didn't feel comfortable taking a new baby out in public (hello, H1N1!) and we all got a bit stir crazy.

Basically, whatever works to keep DD happy, go with it.

[PersianMama]

Personally, I'd never do that drive without at least one overnight on the way. Being buckled into a carseat for that long would drive even the most even-tempered child insane. Otherwise, I say go for it. I hate flying and I especially hate flying with kids Driving gives you the freedom to eat when you want, stop when you want, etc.

May I ask what it is exactly that is freaking you out about driving through the South? I take absolutely no offense, but I have lived here my entire life. You really haven't lived until you grow up raised by an Iranian and a Canadian, both liberal Democrats, in southern Louisiana . If you share some of your concerns, I may be able to help you avoid the worst of it.

[Linny]

C'mon Fadzi! Piece of cake!!!!

I agree, you wouldn't want to do that long of a drive without breaking it up at least once in an over-night in a hotel; but truly, we've done this twice with almost this much time: IL to mid-Florida and southern FL. It worked...AND, we had two other children----first time: A five and four year old--with newborn; second time: a seven, six and two year old--and newborn. It worked out alright.

Maybe our kiddos travel well; but we've made that trek more than once. We also don't have a CD player going, nor do I take a ton of stuff along with me either. It DOES work better to be able to sit right next to the newborn so as to feed him/ her along the way.

You also might want to consider buying a double stroller at some time; and, take a sling for the new baby to be in. A portable co-sleeper (one that fits on the bed) is almost a must when stopping overnight and a small cooler (if you hadn't already thought to have one there).

We'd thought to fly on more than one occasion, but then comes the hassle of NOT having your own vehicle along, having to haul the carseats and other stuff through the airport; as well as not having the liberty of knowing how soon, exactly what date, etc for that LOVELY ICPC stuff.

It's do-able, Fadzi....just takes a lot more planning and little more time. Good luck! Do you have any leads on a situation????

Sincerely,

Linny


ETA: I understand some of your concerns about driving through the South. We didn't feel really good about driving at night through the back parts of TX with two AA babies and we are CC. However, our travel to TX wasn't for an adoption...but for other purposes. Still, I wouldn't want to do this through TX---late at night---either.

[Amber76]

We drove from TX to Indiana with our DS when he was 3 weeks old after ICPC cleared. He slept almost the entire time and we really only had to stop every three hours to feed and change him for the most part. Of course, every child is different and your older child will probably need more stops unless it is an overnight drive and she sleeps in the car well.

As for traveling through the south, I can't comment on every state, but it greatly depends on WHERE in Texas you would have to drive how safe I'd feel. We've driven from Houston north all the way through Texarkana and most of that drive is so rural that you hardly even see another car....

[Cjmeck]

When my DS was newborn to 3 years old, we traveled all the time from MD to OH (500 miles). What would take my DH and I 7.5hrs, would take at least 9 hours with him. ONCE, we thought we'd drive through the night so he could sleep. The worst 8 hours of my life. He was about 19 months old and I swear to God he screamed for 5 hours straight before he finally fell asleep. Some kids are fabulous car sleepers. I haven't met any but I hear they exist. 22 hours just driving; that is your absolute best case senario. I couldn't imagine driving more than 500 miles a day with kids so I'm guessing you're looking at 3-4 days of driving at least. And then after a week or two, you have to do it all again If your DD was older (say, maybe closer to 4--that's when our life got a bit easier) then I'd say drive if you want. I honestly cannot imagine keeping my 22 month old in the car for any length of time. But maybe your DD isn't high energy, doesn't mind being confined, will sleep easily in the car, ect... As far as you guys driving through the south; I'd just try to only stop near major cities. And wait, OMG, I didn't know you were expecting a baby! Congrats and fingers crossed

[mommieof2cuties]

I love to drive...so may children have been raised with liking the car. When we lived on the East Coast of Florida I would drive two three times a year without staying overnight to CT. I would only stop to fillup and change diapers. When I only had my oldest we would only stop three times! But if you have a child that is not good in the car, I would plan to stop overnight The drive from MD to FL should take under 15 hours for example.

[ocracoke]

My daughter was 21 months when she arrived home. Her flight home from Ethiopia was the worst experience I ever had. Would not wish it on my worst enemy. Four months later I started making my long car rides from North Carolina to Maine. We make this trip 2 or 3 times a year. After I found out that she was actually car sick and found a homeopathic remedy for it the trips became a breeze. I did buy a portable DVD player but it was cheap and it broke so most trips are without that. Long trips are possible with a young child. She sleeps a lot and entertains herself (which she never does at home). But as a single mom who hates flying, I would much rather drive then fly.

Samantha

[4everwaiting]

Fadzi!!!!!

Congratulations I had no idea you were matched!

Great advice from PP. We did have a long drive to bring dd home. Normally the trip would have been 24 hours but turned out being 28 as we stopped for longer meals and stretching, changing and such with the baby...

[Magic_Hat]

It's such a hard decision because I think you'd have much more control in your car and you'd have your car and all your stuff while you are down there but it would be (should be if there are no big delays) much quicker to fly.

There were some good tips on another recent thread about keeping kids occupied on a long trip. I bought a few new, inexpensive toys and books and brought them out when DD was getting cranky (did this when she was tiny and more recently when she was 2). I also wrapped them in sparkly wrapping paper and ribbons so it was exciting just to open them. If your DD likes to draw, maybe a small Magna Doodle or crayons and a coloring book (my daughter just recently stopped trying to eat crayons but if your daughter is supervised...). Finger puppets are fun. I second sitting in back with her. We can't do this in our car now with two car seats but you can at least do it on the trip down there. I'd stop at rest stops along the way and let her run off some energy.

I wouldn't worry too much about the south. If it makes you more comfortable, stop in the larger towns for food/gas/lodging. When we are in small towns or isolated areas anywhere, I don't make a show or announce our family make up (2 moms, transracial adoption). Not that I do that anyway, we don't do a lot of PDA, etc but if I feel a strange vibe, I do my business and we get back in the car. People might look and try to figure it out but we are gone before they really can.

Good luck!

[sissyminsky]

We did this in September, but DS is 4. Our trip was 17 hours all through the South. DH and DS drove out on their own and I joined them on the last day with a cheap one way flight. They covered it in 3 days - a hotel night and a friend's house night.

The way back we did it in two days because we all were ready to get home - I sat in between the two mega-carseats in the back so I could do bottle feedings as we drove. To keep her from germs I did diaper changes in the car (when we were stopped) and DH and I would take turns going in at gas stations, etc.

THe whole thing was helped tremendously by the DVD player - we packed 10 movies and I think 8 of them got watched. We are not normally a family who watches that much TV but in this case...

We did not spend all our time in the hotel - we tried to find open air places to play and relax.

Where in TX?

[sbaglio]

Just thinking ahead, people!

Thanks for all the advice. There seem to be so many pros and just as many cons to traveling either way. It's good to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly...We'll have to see.

Thanks again!

[KarynB]

Hey Fadzi,

We've done a fair bit of air and car travelling - picking up toddlers and babies from South Africa (40 hrs of flight time at least), and moving back and forth across Canada (-:

You may want to get a roof rack and box for your Honda, that keep the inside from feeling all squishy, and allows for stuff like strollers etc. One thing we did was wrap small presents and let our 2.5 yr old open one every hour - they were always stuff to do, like sticker books, animal crackers, etc and we set an alarm so he wouldn't ask every two minutes. We played lots of games, and just tried to relax about time, we got there when we got there...plan stops around stuff to do - even the smallest town will have a swimming pool which will tire DD out so hopefully she'll sleep for the next few hours!

If you do flights, tv's on back of seats are a god send, play-doh, and ask for a bulk head seat that will have a bassinette for the new baby. It also gives your toddler extra leg room to sit and play. After that, just cross your fingers and hope for the best! On my last trip to South Africa I also used a homeopathic jet lag remedy that seemed to really work well, might be good for you and DH so you don't arrive exhausted. Bring lots of baby wipes - the kid next to me on the seat puked and poor dad (who was travelling solo with 3 little ones!) had nothing...

Good luck...does this mean you have news to share???

[lotsa_love_2give]

We just got home from a 10.5 hour trips with a 26 month old and a newborn.

The trip up there was the WORSE, we had to leave later than expected bc medicine had to be refilled that I forgot about. So we ended up driving mostly at night which DD HATES!

After placement, we stayed one night in our hotel and drove 2.5 hours to the state line. That helped a lot to get that 2.5 hours out of the way. Then we only unpacked what we actually needed bc we had been in the other hotel a week before placement.

We stopped for food and gas and worked feedings around that time. A 8.5 hour trip on the way home turned into almost 12. Make sure you plan extra time to drive I would suggest during the day with the newborn! You'll have several stops to make!

We don't have a bottle warmer in our car and I'm a germaphobe about using microwaves at gas stations or other places, so I orderd a hot chocolate at McDonalds, poured half out and warmed the bottle up that way. Sounds funky, but it worked!

We had more issues with keeping our 2 yo occupied than feeding the newborn. The only issue we had with our newborn was her pooping what seemed like after I would feed her and get ready to put her in her carseat!

Pack lightly! We didn't take a ton of cothes for ourself because they had a washer/dryer there.

BTW>>> SUPER jealous of the Honda! I want one for Christmas.. but Santa may have other plans! lol