[rd200]

So the good news is that i found a job. I am so excited, because as many of you may remember, i am losing my job in a few short days and i have been EXTREMELY stressed out about finding a new job and stuff. Well, its maybe not a dream job, but its decent pay, 7 minutes from my house, decent hours, i get off on mondays, work tuesday through saturday, and work 4 hours on sunday. So, its pretty good. i'm just happy i have found a job at all.

Unfortunetly, my DH doesnt seem to share in my excitement to say the least. Like the first time i talked to hima bout the job andtold him all about it, the only thing he said was, "that's crappy hours" and that was it. So, i brushed it off and whatever. Well, when i told him i was going over there today for a tour (its a farm job) and then told him a bit more about it, he said, "that's a HUGE pay cut, thats gonna suck" I was like, "it will be a pay cut, but only by like 300 a month." thats not too much i dont think. I dont know, maybe i'm just being over sensitive considering all the stress i'm under with the cows being sold adn stuff, but is it really too much to ask to be supportive??

When i got home tonight and told him i got the job, he just said, "oh yeah" that was it!!! he usually isnt a man of many words, but seriously... that's it???

I would be happy as a clam with" that's great that you got a new job" I would be super happy for anything that isnt negative. and my DH is one of those people whom doesnt like to communicate about anything, so i asked him why he was being so negative, and he got pissed off and siad" i'm not being negative, you can take whatever job you want to take" yeah, real supportive.

I just dont get it!!! I know he has said before that he would like for me to only work part time or be a SAHM, but he also realizes that isnt possible with our Debt we aquired from the IVF and the adoption. Even though that is our only debt besides our mortgage, that is still a large amount to pay back when living on only one income. So, i dont know if his recent behaviro is stemming from that, but even if it is, why wouldnt he say anything??? Its just so frustrating to know that your partner isnt really happy for u even though you are really excited about it. I just dont know how to approach the subject where he might actually tell me what the deal is!!! Any advice?? Rach

[manni28]

I would tell him the job makes YOU happy and therefor, the home will be happy. I'm not the SAHM type, I like to interact with adults and get a paycheck. You need to tell him how this job will allow you to do that.

I wish you the best,

Manni

[Nevada Jen]

My husband is similar to yours all the time. I have finally just learned to ignore him. I married him and I am stuck with him. I finally realized that his attitude was making me feel down on myself and like I was not good enough and decided I am crappy enough on my own. I don't need him adding to it. Now I just ignore him. Or don't tell him about my job. But. . .we have been married for 15 years and I would say a good 10 years his attitude was very hard for me to take.

Congrats on your job! I think its awesome that you found a job in your field that you are excited about.

[sambob]

So you'll be working 6 days a week? Maybe that's what he's so upset about.

[rd200]

Originally Posted by sambob

So you'll be working 6 days a week? Maybe that's what he's so upset about.

yes, like 5 and a half. I have off monday, and that is also his day off, so we will be together the whole day. I honestly dont think thats the problem. its not like we dont like to be together, but we are attached at the hip like other couples. We used to work opposite shifts and never saw each other, but for the last 5 years we are home every night together and some weekends together. he's gone for the army alot too. I just dont know!!!

[lovemy2boys]

Rach, I'd just come right out and say something.

Tell him that you can tell he's not thrilled with this, but he needs to tell you what he's thinking.

If he doesn't give you an answer, then tell him that you will just have to assume that he's fully supportive. If it's money, tell him that a pay cut is better right now than no pay at all (if that's how you feel, that is). If it's the hours, well, at least you can give it a chance to see how you both feel about it.

Congrats on the new job, by the way!