[nurse_reedle]

there was a lot about the situation that wasn't discovered until the day we were presented. We were chosen. There was WAY too many things that were issues for us (extensive drug use through out pregnancy, father wants the baby, medical history, etc.) Anyway, now I am all freaked out that we are going to have to wait another 16 months to get picked! We had recently made some changes to our profile, and we are hoping those changes are great. This was the second mother to see our new and improved profile, and she chose us. I can't handle another 16 months!!!!! I need hugs or something! LOL

[Saya]

I know it's tough - hang in there!

[oceanica]

sorry it went that way! But it sounds like you made a good decision.
But anyway, just because you waited before doesn't mean you will again! I bet your new profile will be really appealing, since two times you've been chosen already!
Hang in there!

[binkybear]

(((hugs)))

I know no one likes to hear it, but it will happen when it's suppose to and saying no now won't make you're wait longer. We don't get punished time wise for trusting our instincts and making good choices for our families

We had to say no to a situation as well, we weren't chosen at that point but it was the first time we were asked about a situation and flat out said no to being shown. I felt terrible afterwards. I really beat myself up about it for a few days thinking how could I say no to a child and still be "me"...(even though the no wasn't about the child as much as the circumstances...pretty heavy issues). Months later we were asked about B's situation and I just knew it was right from the get go. And it is, his placement is all around perfect for our family.

You know your family and you'll know when you can say yes with 100% certainty.

[bevy]

(((hugs))) Sorry to hear that you had to make that decision. we have had to do that in the past too and it is hard.

[Barksum]

(((hugs))) It IS hard to say no, sometimes unexpectedly difficult and emotional. Breathe deeply, have your favorite beverage, some chocolate (or the equivalent of), read a frivolous book, take a bubble bath...or all of the above.

[kittymom]

We had to say no to a situation, and it was really painful. It did feel like we would be punished for it by having to wait forever. It's so hard to say no - even when you know you have to - when all you want is to have a child and there's no guaranteed date in the future when that wish will be granted. Don't you just wish you could know when it would be? It would be so much easier to wait!

All that said, we are still waiting. We've had two back-to-back matches fall through, and it was/is very painful. I'm so gun-shy now. But I still think there is the right situation out there for us, and for you too.

[Whirled_Peas]

I'm so sorry for how you must be feeling.

I also feel bad for the emom. It must suck to have someone say no to your baby. I wish agencies would check with the aparents before showing their profiles.

[nurse_reedle]

Originally Posted by oceanica

sorry it went that way! But it sounds like you made a good decision.
But anyway, just because you waited before doesn't mean you will again! I bet your new profile will be really appealing, since two times you've been chosen already!
Hang in there!

Oh, no, we were SHOWN twice, PICKED once. LOL

[nurse_reedle]

Originally Posted by Whirled_Peas

I'm so sorry for how you must be feeling.

I also feel bad for the emom. It must suck to have someone say no to your baby. I wish agencies would check with the aparents before showing their profiles.

I know they aren't going to say, "They didn't want your baby." We have talked about that in the past, how they handle it with e.moms if that happens. They did check with her before. She just revealed a lot more that day. :-(

[Fran27]

I'm sorry it must be hard... but you did the right thing!

Is there any way you can ask your agency not to show your profile to situations like this one in the future? I just think it's unnecessary pain for eparents and emoms to show profiles that are unlikely to accept the situation.

[mkviola]

Oh, I'm sorry. We had to do this, too (last April). It's hard, but always follow your instincts. ((((hugs))))

[JenC]

I'm sorry, it just stinks sometimes. Waiting is the worst ever. You did the right thing by passing on what you weren't comfortable with.

[huggableteach]

I'm sorry. I've been there too and it sure isn't easy. Sending you a great big hug

[KLL08]

I'm so sorry, I know the wait is painful. And saying no is always difficult. We recently said no on a situation too and it was the hardest thing to do after meeting the emom.

Who knows you may just get the call tomorrow for the perfect situation.