[Bamamom07]

We are in the process of adopting our 4 foster kids. One of them is in the 5th grade, and has been with us and in the same school for the last two years. I am frequently at the school and know the staff well. Two weeks into the school year, I had a problem because the school still didn't have needed instruction papers on handling my son's hyperglycemia. I had requested them several times, and had a friendly conversation with the LPN on a Wednesday during which we had discussed this. Besides checking his sugar at lunch, there has never been any intervention required as his sugars run normal. But I understand they need the papers, and I was trying to get them. In that conversation, we also discussed that I was now homeschooling my 6 yr old we are adopting. The following Monday morning, I get a call from my SW that the RN over the LPN called her, claiming I was not taking care of my son right- I had refused to get them the needed papers, I would not answer my phone and they had tried numerous times to discuss the needed papers, finally they sent a note home with my son telling me he was not allowed back in school until they had the papers, and I had actually sent him anyway that morning! And FURTHERMORE, I had pulled my younger child out of school!!. Fortunately, the SW knew better, and was angry at the nurse, not me. I was able to pick up the papers right after that,(the clinic is an hour away) and went to the school. I had a very brief conversation with the LPN and gave her the papers, reminding her we'd just talked days before and she knew I'd been trying to get the papers and the SW call was ugly and unwarranted. She had no response.
Then last week, I saw the RN. She was very sweet, remarking my son's sugars are always perfectly normal. She reminded me of his field trip to see a play on Thursday, which one of us would be required to attend because of his hyperglycemia (that never needs an intervention). She said she couldn't go, as there was a "real" diabetic kid at school, and no other nurse could cover. I was planning to go. Then she asked me how I was. That's when I let her know-calmly-that I was still disturbed that she had called the SW on me over the papers. She argued that she had had no choice, the papers were so important, and I wasn't cooperating. I told her I was wrong for not requesting the papers a month before school started, but hadn't anticipated the problem as it had never been a problem before, and she was way off base and ought to be able to admit it. I am completely reachable by cell unless in a dead zone-like exists in that school-, I hadn't gotten the note from school telling me not to send my son, and her intentions of trying to hurt me with the call were obvious- especially the FURTHERMORE part. Obviously since my children were not yet officially adopted, the SW would HAVE to know and APPROVE of my homeschooling my little girl, and it sure was not business of the nurses. Then I left.
The morning of the field trip I woke up early with a stomach bug. My son was excited about his field trip, but neither I nor the nurse could go. So I asked my adult son to accompany him. I called the school and told them. Couple hours later, I get a call asking how old my son is. He's 22. "Okay, that should be fine". Then, an hour before the bus leaves, I get a call from the principal, saying she had called the school board to get a confirmation on the policy regarding allowing my 22 yr old son to accompany my 11 yr old. She then said BECAUSE YOUR OLDER SON IS NOT BIOLOGICALLY RELATED HE CANNOT GO. So my son was not allowed to go on his field trip. The principal refused to back down, stating it wasn't her decision. I then called my children's attorney, who was as livid as I. Minutes later, the SW called. She then called the school board and spoke to the same person the principal claimed to, but was given a different reason entirely-that my grown son had no medical training on diabetic emergencies. Well the principal never mentioned that. I could have gotten my other grown son who does have medical training to go. But it was too late.
I'm thinking the whole thing was payback for my telling the RN 2 days prior she was wrong in her calling the SW earlier, and she probably told the principal I had been very ugly to her-which I had not. Even if I had, the field trip fiasco is unbelievable. I'm planning to give the attorney and SW tomorrow to do whatever they want to do about it, and then go Tuesday to the school board myself. I want to see this so called policy regarding nonbiological siblings, and plan on lodging a complaint against the nurse and the principal. I am SOOOOO MAD!!! I have had kids in that school for years, and dealt with 2 prior principals in that school- who NEVER would have acted this way, and have always had great relationships with staff. Any thoughts on this insanity??

[greenrobin]

First, breathe.

It is petty and unfortunate for your child that this has happened, but unless you plan on homeschooling him as well, you need to remember that he will be in this building with these adults daily.

Next, I would get ahold of the school board policy on everything. It's usually available online. I would be sure to know page and line for everything I'm requesting from the district. I would definitely look for the part about biological--that is patently ridiculous.

Then I would be prepared for all future battles. Somebody has a power issue!

I'd also make sure they know that there will be an attorney involved if this happens again in any way, shape or form. I might even consider filing a grievance with the board about this as well.

And you know what? In our district we can be educated on what to do by the nurse just before we take our diabetic and other health issue kids anywhere. She never goes because she serves 3 campuses. Itty bitty district!

[Linny]

The kind of behaviors you've listed are one of the reasons *our* family homeschools. (And I've taught in public and private schools myself! )

I agree with the poster above......and, as they suggest, be sure you know every detail of their 'policy'. Maybe this has to do with liability in terms of the 'biological part'. I agree...it's ridiculous, it was handled VERY unprofessionally...even if the policy IS there; but schools have such INSANE policies to adhere to when it comes to 'who's liable' anymore. (Thank you insurance companies and those who've chosen to sue over incredibly insane reasons!!!!!!)

On the other hand, because you're homeschooling, you probably realize there're a lot of people/schools who just have a hard time with it---for whatever reason----and they just like to cause problems when they can, KWIM? (BTDT)

In the end, do what you need to do---just be certain you're well-versed in their policy and 'who did what-when'. Stay strong and good luck.

Sincerely,

Linny

[momraine]

That would tick me off too! I would suggest writing a letter to the schoolboard, copying your social worker, lawyer and whomever, and keep a copy for yourself. make the school people sign for thier letters and make it very, very professional.

[Waiting_for_my_baby]

Wow, I would be beyond upset too! I'm actually speechless! Let us know how your next step goes.

[mdesi]

That is awful. I wonder how they verify that everyone who goes on a field trip is biologically related to at least one child on the bus. (Jest, here.)

I would ask specifically for a written copy of their field trip chaperone/volunteer policy. It must be in writing somewhere. Also, remember that your anger is at the onsite administrator on this one. I would make an appointment with the Superintendent or Director of student affairs - most of the districts I see have one.

Also, I am shocked that chaperones do not have to have a finger print clearance card. In the districts I see, that is the policy - a finger print clearance card. Most districts even have someone on staff who actually does the finger printing and sends the card off to the proper agencies. (We have to have the federal level of investigation.) If they had that policy, I could understand the refusal. However, the principal's explanation of the refusal is just ignorant.

[Nevada Jen]

I would be livid too. Absolutely livid! I am not sure what you do to undo this nor am I sure where the nastiness at the school is even coming from. Perhaps its all coming from principal and not the nurse. Poor kid. Ugh. I don't even know what to say!

[DannieAS]

inside opinion info here.

I work in a public school and the nurse is part of our special ed. team and I don't know what it is, but school nurses tend to be extremely *special*. I have respect for mine, but sometimes she perseverates on the weirdest things that are a non-issue. (I"m assuming you're talking about the actual school nurse and not the health clerk...we have a health clerk 5 days but our nurse has 3 sites)

What's worked in our school and district is to call district and ask for specific guidlines, where they are found etc. and then lodge a complaint.

Speaking from my own personal experience, our nurse will calm down and back off, if she gets an e-mail or call from district/special ed.

I'm sorry you had this problem

[npmom]

I am a public school teacher myself- and when it comes to paperwork, field trips, volunteering in the classroom etc....we have very specific guidelines to follow with limited time constraints:

1. Policies regarding health issues on field trips need to be determined prior to the trip- meaning if a child is diabetic- do parents attend? (usually). A school nurse usually can't attend a field trip- and leave the rest of the school population at bay without a substitute!

2. All volunteers- parents, grandparents, etc...need to have a background check, which requires time to process. Meaning, one can't show up on a field trip without the proper paperwork! and it can't be done day of! Usually at least 2 weeks prior!

I would find out the specific guidelines and line up a series of volunteers (family members) who can attend such trips in the future (with appropriate medical training)- have the appropriate forms "on the ready" so that your child can attend without worry!

This has nothing to do with "biology" but rather protocol! and I would address this issue as a separate matter! Saftey first, background clearance second, and then if necessary have your attorney and social worker draft a response on your behalf showing your efforts and legal rights!

[luckyshamrock]

Well, your son's conditition is covered with the Americans with Disability Act, section 504.
Protecting Students With Disabilities The school is required to make accomodations for him to participate with all of his general education peers in instructions and extra curricular.
So the school violated his rights with a disability for not providing appropriate staff (their responsibility not yours).
So I suggest that they make a plan to cover field trips for your son or agree that your 22 year old son can go.

[MamaS]

If only biological relatives can chaperone, that should eliminate all step-mothers and step-fathers as well. Make sure they are following the rules completely or they allow your child's adult sibling to act as a chaperone.

[crick]

Hopefully it all gets worked out Bama! I would demand to see that policy of baloney in writing and go from there.

To others who are talking about background clearances etc., keep in mind that not all schools do that. My kids' school asks for parent volunteers as chaperones and we don't get fingerprinted or have background checks.

[DannieAS]

Originally Posted by crick

To others who are talking about background clearances etc., keep in mind that not all schools do that. My kids' school asks for parent volunteers as chaperones and we don't get fingerprinted or have background checks.

This is SO true. Policies change from one school district to the next even in the same state.

They do background checks on our parent volunteers, however, our school district is in a city where there are multiple halfway homes for sexual offenders and our parents are an iffy crowd, so I can understand why they do this in our district, but like you said, policies are different in other school districts.

[mdesi]

Originally Posted by crick

Hopefully it all gets worked out Bama! I would demand to see that policy of baloney in writing and go from there.

To others who are talking about background clearances etc., keep in mind that not all schools do that. My kids' school asks for parent volunteers as chaperones and we don't get fingerprinted or have background checks.

I guess my state is ahead of the game. It is the law in our state that all volunteers working with children have to have identity verified prints. Again, I am shocked that anyone can volunteer without a background check.

[DPline]

Originally Posted by mdesi

I guess my state is ahead of the game. It is the law in our state that all volunteers working with children have to have identity verified prints. Again, I am shocked that anyone can volunteer without a background check.

Not to totally head this off in another direction, but it is only the last 6 months that our public schools started requiring any check before chaperoning, and even now it is a very limited state-only background check. ICHAT : Home
The check is not required to volunteer in the school. Only to chaperone on trips away from the school.