[Saya]

The word is out in our community that representatives of the Westboro Baptist Church are coming to town. These are the anti-gay, anti-Jewish, anti-Catholic, anti-mainstream Protestant, pretty much anti-everything folks who go around the country protesting main line churches, synagogues, schools, even funerals. They are best known as the "God hates f@gs" folks. They are going to picket several Jewish institutions as well as a local high school.

So, Saturday morning they are apparently going to picket our synagogue. And most Saturday mornings we take Anabel there for a Shabbat morning singalong, which she loves. Question - would you take your 3-year-old into your church or synagogue if you knew there were going to be hateful protestors to pass through, or waiting outside? The police have been informed, I'm sure security will be fine. I'm not worried about safety. I'm just thinking about what she'll be exposed to. Part of me thinks I want to go no matter what as a statement, but I wonder if I shouldn't be putting her in that position.

FYI, here's a story in a local paper about the upcoming "visits":

The Brooklyn Paper: UPDATED AGAIN!: Anti-gay Kansans to picket at three shuls and Brooklyn Tech!

Thanks for your input.

[paigeturner]

Saya,

I would attend myself, but leave a child as young as your DD at home. Children have such a short time of innocence these days, I wouldn’t want to expose her to this type of hatred, in the name of God, for as long as I could get away with it. Having said that, I would definitely attend myself because I believe to do anything else would be letting them win.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[loveajax]

It's really hard. My daughter honestly has never really been exposed to anything really hateful, and she's such a kind soul and I think this would confuse/upset her (she is older than your DD). So I don't think I would bring DD that day....but I would still go also (if I could get a sitter!).

Btw, I am like 55/45 percent on this....my other 45 percent thinks it could be a good "lesson" for her if you could explain certain things after the fact. For example, my DD saw her Papa the other day and he is really, really bad and I know it upset her. But it did open up a dialogue about death and dying that went really well.....

OK, I'm 52/48 in favor of her not going..haha.

[DannieAS]

I was in high school during the whole David Koresh thing in Texas.

Because it was rumored that David Koresh came out from a Seventh-Day-Adventist church background, our church was put on notice because there was a tip that Koresh followers that weren't at the compound were scheduled to go into Seventh-Day-Adventist churches for violence. Even though my family went to church that Sabbath that there was a high alert from the govt., our high school Sabbath School class attendees were really scared and on edge.....and we were high schoolers.

I'd skip this one time at the synagogue, children are impressionable and she may be a little young for this right now.

It makes me sad that some people in this world are just looking for any excuse to hate.

[crick]

I think 3 is too young to comprehend everything you'd likely want her to. In addition to that, it will hamper her enjoyment of things once inside? So if she won't enjoy things and will be upset, it doesn't seem worth it.

[OakShannon]

Ugh. I'm sorry Saya. We've had them picket several times here, too. (Of course. We're a magnet for the anti-gay crazies.) They're just hateful, twisted people. So much so, that it's hard for me to take them too much to heart. I've heard that most of the people who attend that church are Fred Phelps' relatives. Mostly, I wish he and his nutjob relatives got less press.

If you go, I would talk to Anabel and prepare her ahead of time that these people just have a lot of hate in their hearts and isn't that really sad for them.

But I would lean toward keeping her home, too.

[thanksgivingmom]

Every year my Mom and I go to the Rose Parade, and usually bring along whichever of her grandkids that would like to come. They've ranged in age from about 2/3 to 15 at the time of the parade. And EVERY YEAR at the conclusion of the parade are the protesters. (And LOTS of them!!!)

It's VERY sad that it happens and mars what's a wonderful parade, but we never found it as a reason to not go/take the kids. If anything, it usually starts dialogues with the older kids and sparks a couple questions from the younger ones, but we've always used it as a learning opportunity. (In our case, none of the younger ones have seemed to be too upset by it, but then it's not on "their" turf - ie their own church, etc.)

[sugarandspice697]

We had something similar happen to us. Before Firefly was born, we had pickers (but not the "God hates ***** folks) come to our church too. If my kids were older (ages 3 and up) I would take them and explain to them why people are biased and show them passages in the Torah (or in our case the Bible) of how bigotry isn't godly (or in our cases how bigotry isn't like Christ).

I wouldn't let some narrow-minded folks scare me away from my beliefs. Afterall, God mentions many time that our enemies will hate us simply because we believe in G-d. Enjoy your Saturday!!

[DannieAS]

Originally Posted by thanksgivingmom

Every year my Mom and I go to the Rose Parade, and usually bring along whichever of her grandkids that would like to come. They've ranged in age from about 2/3 to 15 at the time of the parade. And EVERY YEAR at the conclusion of the parade are the protesters. (And LOTS of them!!!)

It's VERY sad that it happens and mars what's a wonderful parade, but we never found it as a reason to not go/take the kids. If anything, it usually starts dialogues with the older kids and sparks a couple questions from the younger ones, but we've always used it as a learning opportunity. (In our case, none of the younger ones have seemed to be too upset by it, but then it's not on "their" turf - ie their own church, etc.)

OMG yes I do know what you are talking about....the last time I went with my parents and cousins which was about 2 years ago, there was one of these people before the parade giving us a speech that we were all going to hell because we love secular things....

now my family is a Christian family, but this dude got under my mom's skin and she totally stood up and told this guy (in front of all the people around us) taht "God is love, HE doesn't send people to hell, and that maybe he *referring to the guy* is the one that needs Jesus"

she got a standing ovation from all the people around us, I don't even think everyone else were believers but sheesh, why are people this way...

Following Christianity in my humble opinion means that you dialogue with people and treat everyone like a human being with love like God would do....I don't know why people don't get that!

[swd]

If safety's not an issue, I would go. She is old enough to understand "angry" people, and it's simple enough to explain that idiots get angry at others who don't agree with them.

Honestly, I grew up hearing all about "freeing Soviet Jewry" in temple and never understood what the big deal was, b/c it was so hard for me to imagine anyone protesting someone's religion.

I don't see a problem with letting her see for herself what kinds of people are out there, especially with anti-Semitism on the rise.

[OakShannon]

Originally Posted by thanksgivingmom

(In our case, none of the younger ones have seemed to be too upset by it, but then it's not on "their" turf - ie their own church, etc.)

I think that might make a big difference, though. The parade protesters are not directing their protest at your family. We have protesters in our neighborhood weekly. The Pro-Israel and Palestinian factions face off across a busy intersection by the farmer's market every Saturday. I still take David to the farmer's market. Someday, I will explain to him what those signs are about. But these protests will be personal.

And these people are just . . . they're nuts. The things they put on their signs are really ugly. (Not that Anabel can read yet.) It's like their whole raison d'etre is finding people to hate. That makes me take them less seriously as an adult. But how do you explain people like that to a small child? I think if Anabel were even just a few years older, it would be different. But the more I consider it, the more I think I would want to protect my child from seeing that.

But I would go if I could.

[shy_bear]

I would not bring a 3 year old; they only maintain their innocence for a short period of time. Why expose a young child to such hatred. And also what if there was something violent to happen...I would go though to support against those who are demonstrating.

[Larue]

Hi Saya. Since I work for Uncle Sam, and have been stationed in places where practicing good OPSEC (operational security) was priority No 1., I tend to be a bit over zealous about security. So If it were me, I wouldn't take Anabel. No matter how strong of a police presence is planned. A demonstration like this can get ugly real fast.

On the other hand, as paigeturner said, I would still go. Because if you don't, they win. And you definitely don't want to let intolerance and hate win. Best wishes with your decision.

[devildogwife]

I agree with Paige and Larue. Maybe go yourself and leave DD with someone. I wouldn't want Cameron exposed to that either.

[thanksgivingmom]

Originally Posted by OakShannon

I think that might make a big difference, though. The parade protesters are not directing their protest at your family.

Well, the protesters after this parade are protesting homosexuality, so it DOES actually protest people in our family.

I agree, it's not the same as protesting your place of worship because that's them coming to you, when we know we're going "to" them (well, to the parade, but we know they'll be there).