[waitingforanangel]

I am looking for some advice on how to handle those people in our lives who insist on asking highly personal questions in front of groups of people, making things very uncomfortable. I know that there is always the answer of, "I'm not really comfortable answering that" but I'm wondering if any of you have some clever ways of deflecting this type of question. There is someone that I often come in contact with in public places who doesn't even know me well but insists on blasting me with 100 personal questions whenever I see her, and we're usually in a group of people who, of course, are all listening. I'd like to have some clever responses to use.

If you all have any suggestions on clever responses, I'd sure appreciate them!! Thanks so much!! This is not my strong area!

[Magic_Hat]

I think a good reply when someone asks a personal question is
Why do you ask?

I think it kinda throws them off and makes them realize the reason why they ask is because they are nosy!

[crick]

Magic's is a good one to use and it does work.

Another one I like is scrunching up my face a bit to a confused look and asking "Are we playing 20 questions?"

"That's a very personal question, don't you think?"

Be sure to direct it back to them in a question phrase whatever you say. That seems to help a lot!

[waitingforanangel]

Both of these ideas are great. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it! I will use these for sure!

[Betelnut]

You could "bean dip" them which basically means to change the subject, a la, "Have you tried the bean dip?"

A great forum for these kinds of issues is Etiquette Hell where people ask for help/advice on topics related to etiquette and politeness.

Etiquette Hell

[Dickons]

Don't answer the question, deflect her by showing her how it feels...ask her a very nosy personal question right back and insist on all the gory details.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[sbaglio]

I agree with Magic_Hat.

[CAToso]

"Oh my! My mother raised me to understand that asking about (topic) is uncouth! Where were you raised?"

[Amber76]

I always go with "What a strange thing to ask/say!" and a very confused look. It usually stops people in their tracks and leaves them speechless.

[waitingforanangel]

What great ideas. Thank you all so much! I had also thought about responding to her 100 questions by saying, "Oh darn - I forgot to wear my interview suit today. I guess I didn't realize I was going to be interviewed today." I don't plan on using that one, but I thought it would be pretty effective!

Thank you all for your help. I will now be prepared for the next episode with her!

[sugarandspice697]

For us it depends on the question:

Rude Person: Which one of her is her real mom?
Us: We both are her real moms.

Rude Person: Is that baby from China?
Us: No, we are all from Atlanta. What about you are a native to the south too?

Rude Person: Wow your partner is an architect! How much does she make?
Us: Enough to keep up from starving but why do you ask?

[MamaS]

I always answer with an off-the-wall remark and then ask the question back to them.

Rude Person: Who were their real parents?
Me: Princess Diana and Elvis Presley. That makes them royalty. Who are your children's real parents?

Rude Person: So you are a teacher! How much money do you make?
Me: Not as much as Donald Trump. I know you make more as a sahm. Would you like to pay my electric bill this month?

Figuring out the answers to my questions usually causes them to back off.

[waitingforanangel]

MamaS and Sugar - you are too funny! Love it!!!! I think that using humor is the most effective way to handle most difficult situations. Very clever!!!

[sugarmuffin]

Rude question
"Is that your grandbaby?"
Answer "Boy i sure wish people would mind their own biz wax".

Rude question
"How could anyone ever give up a child?"
Answer"I don't know anyone that has do you?"

[sugarandspice697]

I also wanted to add that we try to avoid "dodging" the question because it would appear to the questioner that we are ashamed of being different that most families. The key is knowing when you and your spouse have to draw the line in regards to your families privacy.