[oceanica]

I heard this riveting story on CNN news this morning while driving to work.

Woman implanted with wrong embryo to give birth - TODAY Health

I have a lot of opinions, but wanted to get your take on this, from all sides of the triad.

[loveajax]

I actually "know" this woman. It's such a heartbreaking situation, but to say she is a really decent person is a huge understatement. I feel for both her family and also the child's family as well. I know he will be a huge blessing to his family, and I am sure she and her family have a lot of healing to do.

Please...if this is going to degenerate into an anti-IVF thread, please don't go there. I'd appreciate it.

[Fran27]

Well... it must not be fun for them. I think they're doing the right thing by giving him to the biological parents after the birth. But the clinic should cover all the surrogate costs later...

[oceanica]

loveajax, I wasn't going to bash! Just curious about the decision to "give the baby back" to his "genetic mother" after he's born. I just found it interesting that they feel that they "have to" do that, and why.

[Texan99]

I ready this article yesterday. What an amazing person this lady is. I cannot imagine how hard this has been for her. I wish her and her family all the best and am keeping them in my prayers. I agree that the clinic should cover all the surrogate costs later..... it is the least they should do.

Regards,
Beth
DS born May 2006

[loveajax]

O, I think that was her choice (not sure if it would have been legally required...?). Sadly, she has been told she cannot give birth again. I think they are planning on using a gestational carrier for their remaining embryos. (Btw, I knew you wouldn't bash!!).

[aclee]

Well legally, the embryo tissue belongs to the biological parents. Custody was never transfered, as in a donation or adoption. I'm not sure but I think even in a surrogate situation, some type of transfer paperwork is done so the clinic can legally transfer the embryo into the surrogate mother. I think they could have taken it to court, but I don't think they would have won. I appreciate that they put the child first in this situation. What amazing strength of character. I agree that the clinic should (at minimum) pay their surrogate costs. It won't heal the wounds that this mother has at being able to carry another couples child, but not her own, but at least there will not be financial hardship on top of that.

[OakShannon]

Originally Posted by oceanica

loveajax, I wasn't going to bash! Just curious about the decision to "give the baby back" to his "genetic mother" after he's born. I just found it interesting that they feel that they "have to" do that, and why.

To me, it seems like a logical outgrowth of the way they seem to feel about embryos created through IVF. They wanted to implant their remaining embryos to give them a chance for life. Clearly they see them as lives and take that very seriously from a religious standpoint. So it makes sense to me that they would see the embryos - and the resulting child - as rightfully belonging with the other couple. I imagine that they felt they couldn't take that (however unknowingly) anymore than they could take a newborn from another couple without their consent.

I feel very sad for them. I'm sure that they have deeply bonded with that baby during the pregnancy and I admire them for living their convictions and continuing the pregnancy and putting aside their own feelings to avoid a court battle over custody, which certainly could have been damaging for the child. For their sake, I really hope the biological parents allow them to have contact and updates on the baby. I agree with Aclee - I'm not sure they had a choice legally. The other couple had not consented and the child is genetically theirs. If I knew that my biological child was being raised by another couple and I'd had no part in that decision, no voice, no knowledge of how that child was doing - I would be incredibly upset. As painful as this situation is for the Savages, I think they are doing the right - if the hard - thing.

And I think the clinic should pay through the nose for their mistake. What a horrible error.

[sbaglio]

You have to watch their interview on "Today" (I think it was "Today"....well, one of those morning shows. I watched the interview online). They came across as an incredibly loving couple who seemed devastated by the way things happened, but are trying to make the best of this tough situation. It is all about the baby to them, and even when asked about visitation, they said that they left that up to the child's parents. I'm glad that they will be able to use a gestational surrogate for the remainder of their embryos.

[Amber76]

I saw the family on the Today show yesterday and it was heartbreaking. They seem like amazing people and I admire their decision to carry the baby to turn and then place the child with his/her biological parents instead of opting for the termination of pregnancy that the clinic suggested or battling the biological parents. That shows a great deal of strength of character. I hope they are able to keep in touch with the other family to see how the child is doing over the years.

[isitnaptime]

There was an episode on Private Practice (after Greys Anatomy) last year, except their were 2 moms pregnant with each others babies. I can't remember what they chose to do. What a hard, hard choice to make.

[Steph-Jason]

Wow. How difficult. Everytime DH & I went through IVF I can remember the doc & embroyologish (sp?) having to go through several checks to ensure that the embroyes being transfered were ours. Of course though there always was that worry. I agree with everyone here- she seems like a remarkable woman & I really commend what she's doing here. How hard this must be. The clinic should definately pay for costs. I wonder if a law suit is coming.

This is kind of a stupid question & doesn't really make a difference but I'm curious. How did the clinic know that they had the wrong embroy? I had always assumed that if the wrong one was transfered to us itwould be something we knew once the child was born.. not really sure how that works.

[Cjmeck]

I agree that the clinic needs to pay deeply for their mistake. What a life altering error! It makes perfect sense to me that they are returning the baby to the bioparents. I mean, the bios did not give consent for their child to be "adopted". Whether you regard an embryo as a human life or not; the genetic material did not belong to the pregnant woman.
If I'm being 100% honest, I really don't know if I could have carried the pregnancy to term. She is amazing and selfless, much bigger person than I fear I would have been in that situation.
Does anyone know anything more about the bio parents? Just wondering if they have children already or what their situation is... Being nosey of course

[MamaS]

I wonder about the other family? How did they feel finding out they had a baby on the way? Did they even want another child? It is so sad to me that one family wants a child so much, and one mother is willing to risk her health and her life to carry a baby to term while the other family just steps in at the hospital and "picks it up".
I respect that their religious beliefs say "give it back" but mine would say "God gave me this baby to raise and I will raise him with as much love as my own biological children." I wish them peace and I hope that little baby will be loved where he is going.

[sbaglio]

Originally Posted by MamaS

I wonder about the other family? How did they feel finding out they had a baby on the way? Did they even want another child? It is so sad to me that one family wants a child so much, and one mother is willing to risk her health and her life to carry a baby to term while the other family just steps in at the hospital and "picks it up".
I respect that their religious beliefs say "give it back" but mine would say "God gave me this baby to raise and I will raise him with as much love as my own biological children." I wish them peace and I hope that little baby will be loved where he is going.

From what I gleaned from the interview, the pregnant woman and her husband met with the biological parents soon after finding out about the error. The biological family was overjoyed, and thanked the pregnant woman for carrying their child. That's what I found so selfless about them - they frequently acknowledged that family's joy, and knew that they were carrying the child for them.