[rd200]

Well, a quick backround to start. we have an 8 yr old son, he's in 2nd grade this year. My hubby works 4-10 hour days and has off on mondays. he makes pretty good money and has awesome benefits. He is a reservist in the army and his civilian job is also through the army. I work for my parents on their farm. i work m-f about 9 hours a day. So, my parents are selling the cows and discontinueing farming. the auction date is november 3rd so about a week or so after that, i will no longer have a job. This leaves me in a very unique situation. I am having a hard time figuring out what to do because we have been waiting for about 9 months now and i have no idea when we are going to be matched. I dont know if i should try and look for a job or if i should just stay home for now and wait till we are matched. Because after we are matched and the baby is born, i want to stay home for at least 2 months before finding a part time or full time job.

i kinda feel like if i find a job now, that in a few months i might just have to end up quiting when we have a baby. There isnt many possibilities out there right now for a decent job. ihave been looking and not much has been catching my attention. any job is better than no job when it comes to the point of being unemployed, but on the other hand i dont want to take the first thing that comes along and hate it!!

We COULD make it without me working, but it would be VERY tight. Like, if something broke in the house or we had to buy a new vehicle or something, we wouldnt have the money to do that if i didnt work. Plus, my son is in school all day so what would i really need to be home for if he's in school??? i mean, other than doing house work and making dinner and stuff, but i do that now and still work a full time job. I think my hubby kinda wants me to stay home or at least only work part time. i'm not sure why, but just from some of the comments he's said to me, i think he would like me to be home more. I just dont know what to do. i love to work. it doesnt bother me one bit. it woudl be totally different if we were matched and expecting a baby, because then i would probably just look for something part time or maybe my hubby would find a part time job on the weekends so i could stay home for a few more months till finalilzation.

I would love to hear your stories about if you've made a decision like this or any advice you might have for me.
i am so up in the air about if i would actually LIKE to be home more or if i'm just not that type of person. I think the part that bothers me is that i really would love to keep working on a farm but the way milk prices have been they are barely paying the bills not less hiring anyone. So, i woudl have to get a job doing something that i dont love. And the fact that once we get matched, i would feel bad quitting if its only been a few months or weeks working there. It doesnt look good on an application or resume when you jump from job to job.

I'm really struggling with what i should do here. i feel like i'm not really NEEDED at home, and yet i dont know if it really pays for me to find a $10 an hour job with no benefits. then i might as well stay home and try and save money by doing gardening, canning, sewing, stuff like that. I dont know, i'm so confused and my hubby just says, well, what ever you decide is okay with me!!
UM, that doesnt help me out at all!!! Any advice is appreciated!!
I'm NOT looking to debate which is better... being a SAHM or a working mother...just would like some advice. Rach

[soupnazi]

This may sound odd but have you considered just working at home? I mean I don't know your skill level or anything.


I work from home doing affiliate marketing & have total flexibility of my hours. It really helps with new placements as I just put things aside for a week or two.

[DianeScraps]

If you have the ability to work part time or at home I say Go For it!

Currently I work 3 different part time jobs - but they are all very flexible and allow me to be there for my kids.

Take a look at what is available in your community. Subbing for the school district as an aide? Offices that need someone to handle additional paperwork at home? Merchandising or Mystery Shopping work?

Also is there anything your son is interested in that could be worked into your new job? I have a friend whose son is a great bowler (bowled a 300 at age 9), so she works a couple of hours a week at the bowling alley in order to get reduced rates for his bowling (and she can work, while getting to hang out with her son doing his favorite sport)

With your farming background perhaps you can contact your local extension office to look for any suggestions that may work with your special skills. Perhaps as a rep for a farming product or co-op?

Good Luck!

[sheababy]

One thing in your post sticks out "I love to work". I say look for a job. The waiting will drive you CRAZY if you don't keep busy. If you find a job you are not particularly crazy about, just consider it a way to pad your nest egg so you can take off when the baby comes. If you find a truly great job, they will allow you to take the time off when the baby arrives.

[aclee]

I say find a part time job if it will keep you happy, but find the right one! Tell them up front that you are adopting and although you are not matched and would expect several months notice, that may or may not happen. I think the right job "finds" you when you need it.

If you think staying home is something you would enjoy, then you could do a few things.

1) You could find a full time job now, and attempt to live off you DH's income only. Put all your income in savings or pay off bills. Then when you are ready to leave your job for 2 months, or forever, you'll have accomplished many things...you know you can live off DH income, you have paid down your debt so debt payments are lower each month, and/or you have savings built up for those things that break.

2) Get a part time job and start to "step down" the families dependence on your income. This is what we mainly did...starting even before we had any kids! I left a job where I brought home $800 a week for a job where I brought home $500 a week, then when Ty came home we started paying daycare out of that, so it was down to me taking home $300 a week. I then left the "workforce" to stay home with Ty full time, and was a PT nanny two days a week where I took home $200 a week. Then when Matty came home I stopped all together. I could still have a job where I take home $800 a week...but I don't want to. I want to be home with my kids, and I'm happy here....

I think it depends on what you want...

[paigeturner]

This is a tough decision. I read this article yesterday and while it doesn’t exactly fit your situation, I think it makes some excellent points about the realities of women who come and go from the workplace.

The Downside of Opting Out - Page 3 - The Daily Beast

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Hopefully you can find something that is rewarding for you and will still be flexible for the time when you match and have a newborn.