[Stormster]

Because what the heck are they doing for 2.5 hours? I get a general "he did great" and today he had a bracelet on when i picked him up that said "I read (forgot the name of book) Ask Me About It!" and there were a bunch of things he colored. But I wanted to know more! The teacher is way too busy to answer everyone's questions and believe me if I got her to myself she'd be very sorry she let me because I'd probably want to know what he and the group did every second. But I asked him like fifty times today "what did you do, who did you play with etc...." and all he does is repeat the questions back to me!

I'm used to knowing his every breath. It weirds me out I see we are being charged 38.00 for snacks but I don't know what they are giving him. THAT I will ask but i'm so self conscious that I"m being annoying and it's soooo busy there this week. I do have the school director's email. Should i just ask her in an email? Sometimes that's easier no?

While he was in school I was almost Euphoric but when he came home I was kind of down and depressed because I guess I'm not as ready for this as I thought. Not being able to know or share so much of his week is just strange to me.

I never expected this reaction! The friends of mine who are going to the "fancier" schools seem to be getting a lot more feedback.

Oy, sorry but does anyone have advice for me? I don't want to be "the annoying mom" !!!!

[chrisandaaron]

I'm feeling a bit the same way. I'm not really too worried about what they are doing, I'm used to not being there every minute. But I don't want to be the annoying mommy either. Does his school have parent helpers? That would be a great way to sneak a peak at his school day. My dh is going to be parent helper in a couple weeks and he is really excited...and I'm really jealous I say give it a couple weeks and then ask a few questions here and there. The teachers are still learning who is who and the kids personalities. They will probably be able to tell you more once things have settled down and they know everyone better.

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by chrisandaaron

I'm feeling a bit the same way. I'm not really too worried about what they are doing, I'm used to not being there every minute. But I don't want to be the annoying mommy either. Does his school have parent helpers? That would be a great way to sneak a peak at his school day. My dh is going to be parent helper in a couple weeks and he is really excited...and I'm really jealous I say give it a couple weeks and then ask a few questions here and there. The teachers are still learning who is who and the kids personalities. They will probably be able to tell you more once things have settled down and they know everyone better.

Oh thank you, you are soooo right. I'm also hearing that the other schools have a 2 teacher to 4 or 5 kid ratio and ours has one teacher and one assistant and the assistant seems very blah. But I could be wrong! I hope I am! But that poor teacher when I see her she seems soooo overwhelmed and the assistant is standing back. The parents don't start coming in until October so I'm sure it gets easier then. We have already paid for October so will def. stay that long but if I dont' feel comfortable by October 14 when November tuition is due we may hop to a different school. My first parent teaching night isn't scheduled until January.

Another thing that freaks me out is my kid is a runner and there is a side door always open. Do they close it during the day? Because they told me today he did run out of classroom but "dont' worry we saw" I mean I HOPE YOU SAW!!!!!

That freaked me out a bit because this side door leads RIGHT into an open road which is the busiest road in the area and if they didn't see he coudl have gotten out of the building I think!? These are the things i need to know!

[dawnrenee58]

My son is on year 2 of preschool, and he never answers directr questions about it! He kinda keeps it to himself and then info will trickle out all day. I know he is having fun, and loves it, so I don't worry. It is ok to let go of SOME of the control!! As long as he comes out smiling, then go with the flow. He will talk about it when he processes everything he did. My son will randomly start singing a song they sang, or start telling me about a book he read. But he doesn't like to give me a whole rundown on it the second he gets in the car. I figure if there were any important things, his teacher would have told me.

In fact, I just found out that they played parachute the last day of the year last year....he told me about it today and said he wished they could do it again!

[jalapeno]

I hear you. It's frustrating for me too with my daughter. She's older and so will answer questions to an extent. But some answers require a lot of interpretation and it's still nothing like a play-by-play.

I would ask about the side door thing. That would freak me out.

The assistant for my DD's preschool tends to hang back also. She'll jump in during art projects or snack time when more one-on-one help is needed. But I think it's intentionally her job to stay back a bit to keep a wider perspective. I see it as similar to having a lifeguard outside the pool where they can actually see everything that's going on.

My DD started school the first week of August and so I've already had a chance to stay in the classroom for a day. That has really helped. I'm sure you'll feel better once you've had a chance to do that.

It's very strange to me to see someone else in charge of my DD. I don't like it very much actually. But there are so many good things about her going that I am just doing my best to go with it. I hope it gets easier as a few more weeks go by.

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by jalapeno

It's very strange to me to see someone else in charge of my DD. I don't like it very much actually. But there are so many good things about her going that I am just doing my best to go with it. I hope it gets easier as a few more weeks go by.

Exactly. I think i'll email the director about the snacks and the door because those are the things I want to know now. I'm 99% sure the snacks will be ok but I just don't like him eating things I don't know about (I kind of sort of know that's crazy) And the door, I'm hoping because the school is in the basement it's not a ventilation thing (that's my biggest fear). I may drive by mid morning today and just see if it's open during class. (he's not in school today but other kids are).

Besides my little road runner getting out, what about people getting IN! Still they've been aroun 35 years or something so I need to trust....still going to ask though. Maybe they never had such a young runner (has the speed but not the brains?) doubt it though. I"m sure they've seen it all.

[loveajax]

Storm, definitely ask about the door. I was so annoyed with DD's preschool that they did not have an authorized access code to get in and out (it's the Y so it can sort of be a "zoo"). They now have one, thank gosh.

We have to provide our own snacks, but certainly you can ask what they are.

Even though DD has always been very verbal since she started preschool (she was older), I still can't get her to tell me about her day. It comes out in drips and drabs, but it is funny how she will come out with these things that are hilarious. The other night before we ate dinner, she made us "repeat" a song before we ate. On Christmas day, she made me a card and signed her name on it. I thought my niece had written it because I certainly hadn't taught her how to do that. So you will get these unexpected glimpses of what he is doing. It IS nervewracking at first though!

Oh, one other thing....we get these little daily "reports" in writing about what they did....does your school do that? Maybe you can suggest it because it really is fun to see.

[Stormster]

Oh my gosh THANK YOU guys. I was feeling so crazy and thought i was the only one.

[OakShannon]

Storm,
I would feel the same way. David started his toddler program yesterday - also two mornings a week and taught by a pre-school teacher, but the parents come to the class - and my friend commented that if it were her, she would pick a class that she didn't have to go to. Five hours of free time! Just the thought made me anxious!

That open door would scare me too. If it is for ventilation, they should have a gate or a french door. They can't be watching every kid all the time! DEFINITELY bring that one up!

Snacks - There are licensing requirements around snacks if the school provides them and, when asked, they have to be able to show what they are giving the kids. A lot of schools provide that info to the parents. It should be planned out in advance, so see if you can get a snack calendar or something. It's not an unusual thing for schools to give out. I'm completely hyper about David's diet and would absolutely what to know what they were feeding him. (And if that makes us crazy, oh well.)

Don't worry about being a pest. I had parents I almost never saw as a teacher and parents who came every day and wanted all of the minutia. Which was fine with me. It's was actually nice to get to know them. (It's dangerous, though. Those were the parents I would always hit up for classroom volunteering and help with events!) As long as you don't come across like you are questioning what she is doing, I can't imagine that she would mind. And if she does, that's a problem. It is part of a teacher's job. Communicating with parents is an important part of what we do. So don't feel guilty or like you are bugging her. You need to be comfortable with the way your child is spending his time away from you.

I'm sure a teacher and an assistant is exactly the same as what the other school are billing as two teachers per class or a 1:4 ratio. Classes typically only have one head teacher who plans the day's activities. But everyone has to have their ECE units.

[momraine]

I was a preschool teacher for years. It's OK to ask questions. Just not to many at once at the end of the day, parent pick up is about he most chaotic time there is! A couple of things that worked well for me when I taught. One would be to write a note, detailing your concerns. You might not get a response that day, because of course the teacher is busy with the kids. However, she can take it home and write you a response. I had a parent do this and I answered all her questions. I gave her our schedule and even gave her a short version of my lesson plans for the next several weeks. I was also able to tell her that I would be sending home photos of the children soon, the first month is just everyone getting used to the shedule and such, so it's harder to take pictures then, though we did do first day pictures (for a book I made at the end of the year that showed how they had changed in a year, it included pictures first day and toward the end, artwork from begining of year and end, answers to a questionaire from begining to end, etc) Anyway, another option would be to ask for a conference. Let the teacher know what times you would be available, and she will let you know when she can do it. You can also request a phone conference. Make sure to give her more than one time option as some preschool teachers work other jobs and many have families of thier own.
We did have a door that we kept open when parents were coming for drop off and pick up, but we kept it open because it was locked at all times, so during drop off and pick up we just propped it so we would not spen all our time opening it for parents, As soon as school started we closed it, so it was locked until pick up time. (there was a doorbell) If you are concerned about the food, ask the teacher if she can let you know, either through a note or verbally what they had. One preschool I worked in had a pretty set menu. We had goldfish, pretzels and grahm crackers in rotation. Another school had parents taking turns bringing the snack. Be sure your teacher knows any allergies, because other kids might bring food in for parties or birthdays.

[yehudit]

Hi Storm,

If the teachers are experienced they have do doubt dealt with many anxious parents such as yourself. I would also think they have dealt with "runners" before. So please feel free to ask -- you have my permission

I have been volunteering to read and do other activities with the kids in thing 1's classroom since he was about E's age. I'd ask the teachers what they want me to do (bring a few ideas with you like making pizza or another snack together, yoga, planting seeds, art project, etc). That way you can spend a little time with E in the classroom and see for yourself what they do. You can also build a relationship with the teachers and you might feel better about talking to them.

Good luck!

[Gwen72]

I think that the teacher would understand that you had some questions when your first and only child started preschool and would be happy to answer them. I don't think your questions sound unreasonable. They sound like the same questions DH and I ask W's daycare teachers. If you are crazy then you are in good company!

[Stormster]

Drove past school twice today and door was closed at random times and i just got this email:

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to drop a note to let you all know that we had a great first 2 days in our class. The children are having fun and adjusting well to our schedule. I read the "Kissing Hand" to the children and I explained to them that mommy or daddy can leave a kiss in their hand every day when they come to school and then they will come back and get it when school is over. In art, we painted a name card with watercolor paints and on Monday we will be making a "me" puppet and learning new things about each other during story time. Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any concerns or questions. See you on Monday!!!

Sincerely,
Mrs. Seredinsky

So i'm feeling much better today!!!!! Thanks for all your wonderful advice and support!