[crick]

Due to a loophole in CO adoption records law, my dh was able to submit a request to open his sealed records. Got the letter on Friday from the state saying his request had been granted and he went to the courthouse today.

Said the got the whole "magnilla" and will share it with me when he gets home. Of course I'm so impatient and excited that I told him to just come home, but nooooo...he's going to make me wait. (I know, it's not about me, I'm just really excited for him and NOT a patient person)

So now it hit me that I basically have 2 roles - one as his wife and the other as the "aparent with some education and experience and this is going to be big practice for when and if my kids search".

Going to be interesting for sure! Anyone else here that has gone through something similar? Loveajax, I think you have...anyone else?

Hard to put it into words really but I think of my dh, a 46 year old man finding out his origins today, his bparents names, the actual place he was born...surreal. We all get that info unless we were adopted when records were sealed and for some, this day might never come.

As an aparent it makes me very glad that even if our b/c is incorrect, at least I do know basic information to share with my kids and they will be able to access their records when they are adults.

Anyway, just thought I would share and see what all our experiences are. I know I'm going to have to hold back a little so dh can digest but at least here I can go "Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

[loveajax]

Crick, I have been thru this with dh...I am so excited for your dh! I don't know what your hubby will do with the info, but read up on all the reunion stuff you can! I have done that to try to help and support dh as much as I can. Feel free to pm me if you like...it can get emotional! Yay for your dh!

[thanksgivingmom]

CONGRATS CRICK!!!!

I'm so excited for DH that he was able to get his info!!!!

[crick]

Thanks Ladies!!!

Ya, I'll have to check out a few books at the library now. I don't know if he'll search for them or not, but regardless of his decisions I need to remember they are HIS and I, the pushy wife....needs to shut it. LOL!

[DPline]

Very exciting! Hopefully going through it goes well for him! (And you don't explode waiting for him to come home! )

[Fran27]

That is so exciting!!!! I hope he can reunite with his birth family!

[belleinblue1978]

Great news crick!

Best piece of advice I can give is to give him time if he doesn't want to open the file right away. I got mine and waited six or seven months to open all of it. Then it took me five years to search, then I was rejected.

Be there for him no matter what happens and let things come as they will. Don't push him.... there was nothing worse for me than people who thought that they were helping me, but really were just pressuring me.

[Steph-Jason]

Yay for DH!!! I've never been in this situation before so I have no experience but just wanted to agree with everyone else- just be patient & let him figure this out. That's usually the best with most situaions.

[Quesita]

What an exciting and emotional day. I cannot imagine your husband's anticipation. And no matter what kind of information he gets, there will be some sort of strong emotional impact as he gets the answers to questions he has had his entire life.

May your family either find peace, or next steps, or clarification in the words contained in those formerly sealed files.

[Withay]

Congrtulations on getting CO to open your dh records.

Like you and other posters have said, don't push him. My cousin is adopted and has absolutely no interest in finding his bfamily. His wife, however is pushing him and it is not whathe needs.

Just be sensitive to any mood changes/swings and give him space/time to digest everything.

[mumofone]

Oh, I remember when DH's birth family found him. He was so very overwhelmed, and I think I was way more excited than he.

It was recommended that he go for one session of counseling with an adoption SW prior to meeting with them.

It was like a whirlwind when he finally did meet them...birth parents got married after a few years after his birth, and as it turned out, he has 3 full siblings.

[dpen6]

Crick,
..I ripped my records open...oops actually i guess it was just me as Belle waited. I know I wanted to be alone when I read them, and needed time to digest them. I have re read them many times since. I know as I was reading I had mixed feelings, some were kinda exciting like ...WOW she had 2 kids before me( I never took it as a bad thing that she let me go and not the other 2...one ended up with his father and the other died at 6 mo. old...) to sad that biograndmother would't let me in the house.

In the beginning it was like readingsomeone elses story...I didn't realte to to ME at all...it was just reading pieces of paper about some little one...it was very strange knowing it was really about ME....it was good to know thatI just didn't drop from the sky/

Anyway....take your cues from your husband..ask what and how he thinks about things and try not to project yours kids situations to his..whole diffent generation!

But knowing you I am sure you will be a great source of support...whatever those records may say!

[KarenInCa]

It's probably not as important to know what is in the records than it is for him to know he gets entitlement to them.

My cousin was brought home soon after birth. Closed adoption, my aunt and uncle had 3 bio children and then her. She's now 35 yrs old. Last summer I saw them, and both my uncle and my cousin told me that they got her records a year earlier.
She was looking on the internet with my other cousin for any info she could find about her bio mother. When my uncle found out what they were doing, he flew in to San Jose, Ca with her, where the adoption took place. They went in to the court house asking for the records (knowing they would get resistance). When the clerk told him the records are sealed, he said, "But I signed the papers on those records, so I deserve access to them." After a lot of debating with the clerk, the clerk then told him he could meet with the judge. A few days later, the judge agreed to let them see the records, because my uncle was one of the signers on the papers. I don't know how it happened, but it did. I've never heard of this kind of thing happening before.
My cousin found out that she was one of 5 children, and the day after her birth, the b-mother signed papers over to a SW, and left the hospital. She did not know who the parents would be.
She's very happy in her family, and getting information that should be rightfully hers was worth more than what was in it.

[BlackSheep]

Congratulations to your DH, Crick!

I know how it feels to finally get to read the "story" behind your life. While I had already reunited with my bparents prior to the latest court ruling here in Colorado, I was still waiting in line when papers were posted on the internet to get a copy of my OBC! There is something special and surreal about actually seeing everything in writing. A confirmation of what you already know but were never able to actually read...I guess it is also a kind of victory, too.

I hope your DH does whatever he needs to do with the information that he now has in hand. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

[OakShannon]

That's really exciting, Crick. It must have been incredible to actually hold that file in his hands. I would be like you - anxious to read everything!

Hopefully someday soon that info will be seen as the right of all adoptees and no one will have to wait that long.