[ptadopt]

If anyone has any experience with a Bmom who used drugs the first trimester (or especially a baby from a Bmom who used drugs first trimester), would you post or PM me your experience - if you're willing?

And I'm talking real drugs - meth, marijuana.

I'd just like to hear some experiences - good or bad. We're nervous.

Thanks.

Tyra

[BlessedbySnuggs]

Hi there

Best advice I can give you is to do a lot of research and talk to some doctors that specialize in this. Our dd's birth mom used marijuana off and on throughout the whole pregnancy/smoked cigarettes. We were worried (obviously) but we did some research and talked to a couple of local doctors, and were surprised to learn that the biggest complications with marijuana/cigarettes was low birth weight. Again, there are always risks when there are drugs involved. Our daughter was born at a healthy weight and is thriving. She will be 2 next month, and is ahead of the game.

I am not familiar with meth and other drugs, but just wanted to tell you good luck, and definitely do some research, even online. You will find a lot of answers to your questions.

[yehudit]

Hello,
This made us nervous too. Do you know what kind of drugs she used? Is she still using? If she says she's clean are you sure?

Our DD's bmom used cocaine throughout her pregnancy, and sounds like not just a little. To the point she was arrested and had to take weekly drug tests through the duration. She went into labor at 36 weeks because of it and our DD was born + for cocaine.

She is now 11 months and doing great! We were told that cocaine babies usually are very irritable as they withdraw, but DD was the opposite. She slept more than any baby I've ever seen -- seriously -- even more than a typical newborn. Only woke up to eat, then right back to sleep. We've read this can also happen with cocaine babies and also with preemies. Developmentally she's right on target, very alert and engaged with the world. The same is true of her 3 biological siblings who were also cocaine babies.

Bottom line is to make sure you understand what the risks are are to the babies and what you think you can handle. Some drugs carry a heavy burden for the babies -- alcohol comes to mind -- and others are more risky in producing low-birthweight or pre-term babies. Still risky, but in a different way.

Good luck,

[cynthia900]

Two of my children were drug exposed throughout most of the pregnancies and they are my children without special needs. One is 71/2 and the other is 3. There are a couple of resources you can call to check what science knows so far but with meth there really hasn't been time to follow the babies as they develop through childhood so the information on long term effects is limited. And they need to do the studies on children raised in good environments after the drug exposure because there are effects of neglect etc when they continue to be raised by drug addicted parents. I remember low birth weight and ADHD as the two issues most related to meth. But as I said, so far no issues of significance with my two and I do have a special needs daughter who was not exposed to drugs or alcohol and did not manifest delays until age 4. The choice I made after doing the research was that I would not accept regular alcohol use but I was open to drug exposure.

The program I called for information was Motherisk in Toronto Canada - they track the use of drugs (legal and illegal) in preganant women and tell you their findings as well as what the literature says - you can google them for the number.

[Magic_Hat]

We got a lot of good information from the website below and even called and spoke to a very informative, helpful, friendly person.

Organization of Teratology Information Specialists

[Beth.]

Originally Posted by Magic_Hat

We got a lot of good information from the website below and even called and spoke to a very informative, helpful, friendly person.

Organization of Teratology Information Specialists

Ditto on this resource. Thanks for posting ... I wanted to, but couldn't find my link.

[Barksum]

We've adopted 4 children who were prenatally exposed to multiple drugs. (Alcohol, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, methampetamine, tobacco....)

I did not have my kids until they were toddlers, but I can tell you a bit about the longer term effects that we've experienced. Obviously it wasn't so horrible that we wouldn't do it again because we adopted 4 separate times.

[AdoptInMe]

Both of our children were exposed to extreme alcohol, cocaine, xanax abuse, marijuana, smoking..... by the same birthmother. We did not know this until way after they were born. They were born at 7.1 pounds, induced at around their due dates and both are advanced. Our dd is 2 years old and speaks in full sentences with extraordinary deductive reasoning. Our ds is 9 months old and crawling and getting into everything. They are loving, intuitive and happy babies. So, you never know what can happen. Alcohol CAN have the most extreme effects, so I would check into that the most. Our children have shown NO effects of anything. Our dd did sleep constantly as a newborn, though. Everyone was so jealous that she could sleep through parties where she changed hands 50 times. She slept so much that we were worried. Now we know why. But that is in no a way a negative . Good luck!

[ptadopt]

Thanks for the candid information. We have talked to our OB/Gyn and to a neonatologist and they basically said what Cynthia900 said - there aren't enough studies to really say. Could be low birth weight, ADHD, possibly even related to autism, but the effects are probably similar to cocaine use.

Our Bmom was drug-tested after our match, but unfortunately, the hospital hasn't given us the report yet. Oddly enough, Bmom says she has never consumed alcohol because it's against her religion. But we're glad to hear that (and realistic enough to be skeptical).

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I appreciate it.

[CAToso]

When I was looking for info on exposure to various drugs for our application info, I thought this was an interesting find: Melanie Dreher, Jamaican Pregnancy Study

The only thing I'd be concerned about with marijuana use is where she's getting it. If she's buying from strangers, it could be laced with other stuff, but if she grows her own or gets it from a friend who does, this would be the least of my concerns.

Meth - I only have anecdotal information, but I'm certain one of my cousins was doing meth throughout her pregnancy, and her daughter is 100% healthy and incredibly bright (now 10 years old).

~Courtney

[Bnoll]

First, congrats on your match! How exciting!!

I'm not familiar with Meth use, but our daughter was born positive for Marijuana use. Although she is only 2 months old, she's been very advanced and gaining weight like crazy. She started lifting her head at 1 week! I second what Cat said - depending on where she is getting the pot, I would not worry too much about it.

I also would like to point out that a woman making an adoption plan is not a birthmom until TPR is signed. Until then she is only an expectant mother considering her options.

Good luck with everything!

[greenrobin]

Originally Posted by AdoptInMe

Both of our children were exposed to extreme alcohol, cocaine, xanax abuse, marijuana, smoking..... by the same birthmother.

You could be writing about our kids' first mom!

Ours are 4 and nearly 6. Flowergirl does well, is smart and funny, was unattached when we got her at 2, but has overcome those issues. Bubba has RAD, but that's due to his former life. He's also diagnosed with ADHD and has some impulsivity issues, but so does my birth son N, and I know I didn't use anything!

Sometimes there are issues, sometimes not. Sometimes you love them anyway....well, every time I've loved them anyways!

[Ians mom]

Our little one was exposed to marijuana,meth, heroin and tested positive for cocaine at birth. He was slow to hit his milestones, so we got him into the local early intervention for play therapy at 6 months.

At 2 1/2 the only issue we have is SERIOUS hyperactivity. He is very advanced physically, mentally and can talk as well as our 5 yr old.

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by Ians mom

Our little one was exposed to marijuana,meth, heroin and tested positive for cocaine at birth. He was slow to hit his milestones, so we got him into the local early intervention for play therapy at 6 months.

At 2 1/2 the only issue we have is SERIOUS hyperactivity. He is very advanced physically, mentally and can talk as well as our 5 yr old.

How does "serious" hyperactivity" manifest in your 2.5 year old? I'm curious because we struggle with that too. What does it "look like"?

[Ians mom]

Originally Posted by Stormster

How does "serious" hyperactivity" manifest in your 2.5 year old? I'm curious because we struggle with that too. What does it "look like"?

Our son has 2 speeds, off and hyperdrive. He wakes up around 8am and jumps out of bed. I dont think he ever sits for very long, though he will stand and do a puzzle if he can run across the room between each piece. He climbs anything that is still...furniture, fences, cabinets, freezers, cars in the garage.

We often say he is too smart for his own good as he got tired of being stopped by the gates and figured out how to build bridges by moving a dining room chair or kitchen stepstool and just hopping over them. When we took away the bridges, he just figured out how to open them (DH couldnt even open one of them! He just stepped over it.)

He loves to be outside and can jump on the trampoline, climb trees and run as fast as the neighbor's 5 yr olds, and has no fear of anything. Thank goodness we have a large fenced in yard so we spend around 3 hours between breakfast and lunch trying to wear him out, then 3-4 hours between lunch and dinner. Naps are a rare event at our house, maybe 30 minutes if we are in the car after lunch running errands.

After dinner he plays with the other kids for an hour or so before bath and bedtime routine starts. He falls asleep around 9pm, unless he happens to nap. Then you can pretty much add the length of the nap to the time he will stay up. Trying to get him into bed earlier is a joke, as he will pop in and out of his room for hours. As I said, gates dont work for us and the one thing he is afraid of in the world is having his bedroom door closed. We did it once and he was terrified. He threw himself against the door shouting and sobbing, so it is not an option.


Even with him being in constant motion, he is the sweetest boy. He will drive his little car around the patio and say "I love you, See you later" then make a circle and come back to say it again. He will run across the yard and throw himself at you to get a "squeeze" and take off again.

We have a pretty tight schedule for him, try to keep his meals balanced and healthy, and get him to bed on time without any real changes. He is just going to be a really active person, I hope we can keep up!


Sorry, I didnt mean to write a book. How does it look with your son? Any advice on how to keep up with a busy boy 13 hours a day?