[DancinBear63]

As DH and I wait with Agency 1 until we can afford to join Agency 2, I've been browsing online situations, hoping to strike gold on my own. I am absolutely SHOCKED by some of the fees that I am seeing.

We recognize that larger agencies have greater overhead, especially those which have several offices. But does anyone have any ideas about what justifies fees starting at, or above, $35K?

I'd love to hear what you all think!

[sugarandspice697]

DancinBear: I also saw similar situations when I briefly tried to adopt domestically. Most of the situations were at least 25K - including full AA children. The lowest I saw was 13K but the baby had multiple special needs (downs syndrome with a heart defect and heavy alcohol exposure). Plus, unlike international adoption, there is a possibility that some of the money you use for birth mother expenses can go down the drain if she changes her mind. Can you imagine loosing 2-8K for a situation that doesn't pan out. I know Icouldn't.

On a side note, this is one of reasons why I chose embryo adoption. The total cost was about 12K and my situation is considered fairly expensive! It just doesn't make sense to me to shell out so much money for a situation that isn't guaranteed to you.

[leenie71]

Someone has to be making money with those situations. How can adoption costs vary so much? We recently signed with a new consultant and we were getting situations with costs in the 32-36K range from one of their agency contacts. Not to mention, they didn't itemize the costs. And when I asked, I was told that it would be disclosed if the pbm chose us. Pass! I asked the consultant to not show us any situations from this agency.

[DianeS]

Do keep in mind that the specific situations you see advertised online as recruiting for potential adoptive families are (in all liklihood) going to be the most expensive ones.

You're just not going to see the inexpensive situations advertised in that way. There's no need. (Plus if they did it, but didn't take it down quick enough after finding the right number of homestudies, they could be prosecuted for "bait and switch".) If there were a situation that had no special needs and only had costs of $5,000 - that won't make it online because an adoptive family could be found by walking into the outer office and saying "Child with no special needs! Adoption fees only $5,000! Who wants to be considered?" The person would be given a dozen homestudies before he could take a breath. (I have no idea if they *would* try to find families that way, only that they *could*.)

The ones that make it online are the ones that could be announced that way and get NO takers. They can't find hopeful adoptive parents in their own office or with their partner offices, so they advertise online to get a wider audience.

And unfortunately, there are people who are willing to pay that kind of money for adoption fees. Some people don't realize there are more affordable adoptions. And others have the money and so they don't care, especially if paying a higher fee gets them a child quicker.

I'm never happy to read of situations like that. I can understand medical costs, or expectant mother expenses if dad left and mom is on bedrest, but think they really should disclose things like that up front rather than after a match. Those advertisements have always felt underhanded to me.

[Amber76]

My son's adoption was exactly one of those cases where the fees were $35000 plus and posted on a website. BUT we felt prefectly comfortable with that amount because our son's first mom didn't have good insurance at all and that $35,000 paid for a week of care in the NICU, all of first mom's expenses (about $3000), all legal costs, agency fees, counseling for first mom for as long as she needs it, costs associated with searching for an out-of-country birthfather, etc. It was everything except our finalization and travel.

I agree with the previous poster who said that those situations you see posted are posted exactly BECAUSE the fees and expenses are higher than average.

[PersianMama]

I will contain myself from ranting about for-profit adoption, but I will point out that there are non-profit agencies out there. We are working with one, and while it's not perfect, they seem to be doing everything possible for women and children in need, without passing on huge costs to prosprective adoptive parents...They charge fees on a sliding scale with your income, they counsel emoms extensively, they help emoms get state healthcare coverage for the pregnancy and help them get any other assistance they are qualified for in the event that they choose to parent, they place all babies in Receiving Homes for the days between hospital discharge and signing so that emoms don't feel pressured not to change their minds, etc.

Our total costs will be $6,200.

[Dickons]

PersianMoma,

Sounds like you found an agency that works to find homes for babies...

I do wish to add that not all non-profits are the same. Take the time to read the wiki definition.

Non-profit organization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Kind regards,
Dickons

[Magic_Hat]

Our first agency is non-profit and they do offer a lot of classes and seminars, etc to the adoption community (most for a fee) but our cost was 20k, still a sizable fee.

[gigigeorge]

Our Texas agency had a flat fee of $22K that included $5000* for LIFETIME counseling for the Birthmom (also pre placement). $5000 was instate legal and icpc. I cant remember all the rest but the judge here in OK required them to provide a statement of financials in order to finalize. The information showed that they were in debt almost $200,000 but through outside donations etc they were able to keep their doors open. Also the $5000 for counseling extends to our son for his lifetime. As the costs could be much more or less each family that uses their services pays into the counseling part and if your bmom or child uses more than that they use money from the pool, if your bmom or child doesnt use it then it is available to another family.


We unfortunately also used a facilitator for another adoption (live and learn) and their fee (which has since tripled) was pretty much just to line their pockets as they provide no support whatsoever to either aparents, bparents or eparents except to try and get everyone to part with more money... disgusting.

g.

[waitingforanangel]

Gigigeorge - I'm sorry that you had a facilitator that didn't assist you. I definitely think that people should research carefully and get recommendations from people who used the prospective facilitators. Fortunately, we had an excellent facilitator who we credit with making our adoption happen and go smoothly - she made all the difference in the world to us, and we are so grateful to have had her. So, there are great facilitators out there. It's too bad that some are not good and are a waste of money. That is just wrong. If we decide to adopt again, we will definitely go with the same facilitator again. She was wonderful!!

[srusse24]

Both of our last 2 adoptions were under $15K and we waited for less than a month on both.

[jp4ga]

If an agency will not break down the fee schedule RUN. The agency should be able to give any prospective PAP a breakdown of fees prior to signing. They should be able to tell you everything with exception to possible bmom expenses, since these vary case by case. We walked away from several situations because the agency would not break down the fees for us. We used a facilitator and she was very helpful and got our profile out to many agencies all at one time. Of course not all facilitators are the same, just as all bmoms and agencies are not the same.

[gigigeorge]

I didnt mean to imply that all facilitators are the way the one we worked with were... some are very good, very good. Ours just sucked - lol. And we did a TON of research, Ive made friends with many of their amoms and we all agree we were duped...

[BlessedbySnuggs]

Honestly, I "get" the $15-$25K adoptions, I do. Even though I still think it is very expensive, I can see where those rates can be accurate. With the work that goes into adoptions (counseling, all the hours spend with bparents/aparents, social workers, lawyers, travel, finalization, birthmom expenses, etc...) I get that. What I don't get are the $35-$50K situations. How in the heck is that justifiable???? I see a lot of situations online $30K and up, not even including finalization or travel. Wowzers!!!!

[leenie71]

BlessedbySnuggs, were you trying to PM me? I cleared out my mailbox...sorry about that!