[lotsa_love_2give]

So....... I think the terrible 2's have officially begun at our home......

I am a SAHM so I am with dd 24/7. Eventually during the day she just ignores me like I'm not even there.

I say come over her, so runs over there.

I say put that down, she picks it up, again.

I say eat, she says Not hungry... then wants food 20 minutes later.

She's been bopping the dogs on the head, pulling the cats tail, making it look like a hurricane hit her room...

I firmly believe in discipline, even at 2 years old. We don't use corporal punishment, no spanking, no hand smacking, no slapping...... but our timeout chair has become "fun" for her!!!

I've seen on TV timeout mats, has anyone had any experince with them? Does anyone have any creative discipline ideas?!

Everytime she doesn't listen I always get on her level and make her look me in the eyes. I explain to her what she did wrong and why it was wrong...

It's not like she's hyperactive by no means...

Last night she was brushing her teeth and I told her to stay in the bathroom, so she slowly small stepped her way out of the bathroom into the hallway. I picked her up and put her back in the bathroom.... and she had a FIT!

I know all kids go through this, I don't expect it to go way.. I just need creative ways to deal with it.

We try as much as possible not to "bribe" her bc we don't think it's right. We do have a reward system, but it's for when she does good, (ex: brushing teeth, picking up toys, e etc. like small chores).

But when she doesn't listen or acts like we're not there..... I'm lost on what to do..... I always try to lead by example but I'm kinda stumped on this....

Come guys.... help me out here!

[JenC]

OH MY. Just last night, seriously, I told DH that I needed to find some new disclipine techniques for J, who is 2 1/2. I just feel like I'm mean mom all day! Uh, yeah...I'm no help.

[jules17]

Have you tried the "1, 2, 3" thing? I think it's called "1, 2, 3, Magic" (we have the book, but you don't really need it).

1 - warning
2 - 2nd warning (when they usually stop bad behavior)
3 - time out

Believe me, I understand. I am often home alone with a 3-year-old, a 2 1/2-year-old, and an 11-week-old. Firm and fair discipline is a must in this house. She is testing you - hold your ground! This too shall pass.

[finallyamom0310]

I swear, I could have written this thread. DD is almost 2 1/2 and we have been going through this for a month or so now. I have tried the 1, 2, 3 too and now she just counts with me. She thinks is funny to mimic mommy. I could use some suggestions too.

[Magic_Hat]

Someone on here raved about 1-2-3 Magic and we are trying it. It's working on my strong willed 2 year old. At first, she just finished the counting and then pitched a fit during the time out but after only a few weeks, she's got it and usually stops the behavior or starts doing what she's supposed to do at #2. Granted, she'll doing it vvvveeerryyy ssslllowwwlllyyy to test me but I let her do that, figuring she's exerting a little control over the situation. It really is amazing. Then we just do a ton of positive reinforcement for good behavior. We don't do corporal punishment either.

[aclee]

Tyler is naughty for attention. I'm learning that if he's not in danger, I can ignore a lot and then it's boring for him. I started ignoring him when he was standing on the couch, and now he doesn't do it hardly at all.

[lotsa_love_2give]

Originally Posted by aclee

Tyler is naughty for attention. I'm learning that if he's not in danger, I can ignore a lot and then it's boring for him. I started ignoring him when he was standing on the couch, and now he doesn't do it hardly at all.

That's a good idea. I know now that if she starts whinning or pitching a fit I can walk in the other room and if she's not in time out, she'll follow me and be like.. where u goin' Mommy? (of course no tears, no more crying!).

I am glad that she as the age of being able to tell me what is wrong or why she's mad, but next I hope she starts to figure out positive venting... BUT.. Dh hasn't really fully figured that out yet! lol

I have to admit that no spanking has really allowed me to work on my patience in a very positive way. Sometimes I want to have a fit with DD , but I do realize that DD needs to act goofy and crazy sometimes... she IS a kid!!!

[Cjmeck]

I'm rereading 123 Magic b/c I've really gotten away from the principles of the book that helped so much when my son was younger. I was lol reading about your day, b/c Savannah, who is almost 20 months, is EXACTLY like that. She thinks its funny when I raise my voice and correct her. Or she'll point her finger back at me and smile.
Anyway, the best concept I think in the whole book is the "No Talking, No Emotion" rule. Kids are not little adults. You only offer an explanation when the behavior is something new. Otherwise, they are certainly bright enough children to realize that pulling the cats tail gets you in trouble every.single.time. So, that's what I'm working on. I've been "discussing" things entirely too much with my 7yo lately and Savannah really seems to get a kick out of watching me lose it. But at 20 months, she just doesn't get the whole timeout concept. I mean, she thinks its fun to follow her brother to timeout and she sits on the steps with him! ???

[Magic_Hat]

I tend to talk too much too trying to keep from having to give her a time out (in between the counting) or while taking her to the time out because I want her to understand. But I keep having to remind myself to stop talking so much (she already knows) and to also not get emotional about it.

[Asha0314]

I could have written this original post, I can so relate to it all. She will wait until I'm looking, then pick up a cup of her water and turn it upside down, something she knows is wrong, and start squealing in delight while jumping up and down to name one antic out of too many...

[aclee]

Sometimes I throw myself right to the floor and moan and yell along with him. It's a good stress reliever. Unlike most other kids though, he doesn't laugh. Sometimes he sits up and stares at me, and sometimes he gets really TICKED off

[jalapeno]

Both of my two year olds can really test the boundaries. I definitely understand how challenging this can be. There are days when I feel like I just have no idea what I'm doing!

I'm just going throw out some things that I would do with some of these situations. I don't know if they would apply for you or not. But maybe there's something helpful in here.

Originally Posted by lotsa_love_2give

I say come over her, so runs over there.

I think this is an age thing. It was very hard to correct with my DD until she was a little older. Both my 2 year old boys tend to think it's a game to run away from me. If they do it public or when it's not safe, the consequence is to get restrained (in a stroller, holding my hand, in a cart, etc.). They can't be loose if they can't stay close is how I treat this.

Originally Posted by lotsa_love_2give

I say put that down, she picks it up, again.

I would take the item away after a warning.

Originally Posted by lotsa_love_2give

I say eat, she says Not hungry... then wants food 20 minutes later.

There is food available at meal or snacktime around here. At home it's kept at the table only. My kids don't have to eat, but they have to sit at the table for at least a couple of minutes. If they're hungry 20 minutes later, too bad so sad. They can have water until the next meal.

Originally Posted by lotsa_love_2give

She's been bopping the dogs on the head, pulling the cats tail,

I treat this as though the animal were a child. My kid has to do a timeout, say sorry to the animal, and give the animal a hug. If they can't leave the animal alone, they have to play somewhere else.

Originally Posted by lotsa_love_2give

making it look like a hurricane hit her room...

I let my kids make messes of their rooms but also have them help me with cleanup a couple of times a day. I've recently put up sticker/reward charts for when they do a good job with cleaning up. Those seem like they will be helpful.

Originally Posted by lotsa_love_2give

I've seen on TV timeout mats, has anyone had any experince with them?

We use a timeout rug for my DD. I still use a chair for my 2 year olds because it's more clearcut when they've snuck "off". But the rug works fine for my daughter (she's 3). I actually make her stand for her timeouts because she really thought it was fun to lie on the rug.

Originally Posted by lotsa_love_2give

Last night she was brushing her teeth and I told her to stay in the bathroom, so she slowly small stepped her way out of the bathroom into the hallway. I picked her up and put her back in the bathroom.... and she had a FIT!

I would have physically put my child back in the bathroom too. I would have let them have their fit in the bathroom and stayed there to make sure they didn't hit their head. I would have occasionally said "when you're ready, we can brush your teeth" in a calm, soothing voice. Possibly this would result in the loss of storytime (which we do after teeth) . . . depending on how long the fit was. So that's something else I might mention to them. But the loss of storytime would be a consequence of their not getting their teeth brushed on time - NOT because they threw a fit.

Best of luck!

[rd200]

That age is tough. They are testing every boundry they can. With the food thing, i am a firm believer in "its time to eat, if you don't eat, then there will be water and NOTHING else till the next meal" And i mean it too. Its not a 24hour fast food place at my house. He sits at the table with us till we are ALL done with supper, even if he isnt eating anything. If he only has a little bit left to eat, he sits at that table till its gone. I dont know how many snacks she gets but when a kid snacks every hour or so, they arent going to be hungry at the next mealtime. Its worked good with my son. she wont starve if she doesnt get food for a few hours.

As far as the brushing her teeth thing, my son still tries to come and talk to us when he's brushing his teeth. ANd he's almost 8 now!!! But i think i would've picked her up, put her back in there like you did, and when she throws a tantrum, walk away. I would say " i told you to stay in the bathroom, you WILL stay in there till your teeth are brushed." if you need to haul her back in there 5 times, then so be it.


I agree with you that bribing is NOT a good route to go. THat is very wise not to even think about it. My son still tests me and we have had the same rules for years, and he knows what he can and cant do. I dont have any creative ideas for discipline at that age. SORRY i'm not more help, Rach

[jules17]

Originally Posted by lotsa_love_2give

She's been bopping the dogs on the head, pulling the cats tail, making it look like a hurricane hit her room...

We are quite strict about this for 2 reasons: we love our animals, and it is important for children to know how to treat them kindly, AND fear that they may think, since they pulled their dog's tail, all animals may be fine with it. And they may not. They may bite. We do not tolerate any form of anything that isn't kind to our animals.

[startedover]

As I am reading this my 20 year old is counting to 3 for my 2 1/2 year old to get in bed. The main thing I have learned is I won't talk to her if she is crying (because of time out or fit throwing). I tell her we can not talk until she is done. The mintue she is done istart talking to her and if she starts up again I close my eyes and say not till your done crying. That usually gets her attention.