[mkviola]

So the baby we are supposedly "matched" with is due today. Have we heard anything? Not one word since a week ago Friday. The sw is good about calling if she hears from the emom. We've never had any conference calls with the emom. We've never seen any paperwork... in fact, she hasn't even turned in anything. When sw DOES talk with her, she feels she is very committed, but busy. I can understand that, but this has been going on for over a month. I feel almost as if this last month has been wasted, when our portfolio could have been out there. To top it all off, we still have no clue what is going on with the efather, who suddenly appeared back in the picture a couple weeks ago (at least for a day), telling emom that even though he doesn't want to parent, he doesn't want her to place. (Sorry for my rambling, run-on sentence.) There are just NO ANSWERS.

See, Tara, I'm really not all that calm and collected.

Thanks for letting me vent. Any feedback or advice is appreciated. What would YOU do???

Melissa

P.S. Please know that I don't mean this to come across negative against the sw (who I happen to adore) or the emom. It's more just a circumstantial situation that is frustrating. I very much respect all parties involved, but am ready to move on with our lives and find our baby...

[loveajax]

Aw, Melissa, that is so nervewracking. I hate to say it but there is really nothing you CAN do....it's tough! I hope that you hear something soon, and I wish you the best!! I've read your other posts and this is one of those situations where it seems like there are a lot of "red flags"....yet for some reason, with a lot of my friends, those are the ones that worked out! So hang in there. Keep us posted!

[lotsa_love_2give]

Melissa! First off ****HUUUUUUGGGGGSSSSS****

I would be SO frustrated too if I were in that situation! The fact that you haven't got any paperwork amazes me in a bad way. Before we accepted our match we got a mini-novel with all of emom and edad's information and medicals!

It sounds like they've got you hanging by a string and you have no idea what to do!!!!

So, does the SW have contact with the emom? Does she have a hospital plan??

I feel so bad for you right now and so upset over the whole circumstances!

[mkviola]

Thank you both so much. It's almost like it really isn't a "match", isn't it? I mean, even with our dd (completely closed adoption), we received a ton of info. Susan, just like you said, it was a mini-novel. There have definitely been a ton of red flags with it, I guess, but I still always felt like this one would work out. I don't know why I felt that, but I did (up until we found out about edad). Loveajax, you are right. There really isn't anything we can do. I'm going to try to hold off until Tuesday and try to call both our sw up here and the one down there. I am thinking our sw up here might have us put our porfolios back out there. The one up side to this not working out is that I get to start out the school year and work out all the kinks in the schedule! Okay, off to paint our fence while dd naps. I need to divert my attention.

[PersianMama]

That is so frustrating. Limbo is the worst place to be! I hope you hear something soon.

[Daisy1339]

I'm sure the emom is busy, but too busy to meet the chosen prospective aparents? a phone call? an email? something?

I'm clueless to this part of the process, but what paperwork would you normally see by now?

And I know why you thought it would happen! Because your SW has been keeping your hopes alive. Best of intentions, sweet personality, great with follow up or not, she should have been counseling and cautioning you on this all along!

I don't know, I'd be very discouraged, too. I'm sorry that you are going through this. I'm sure it's torturous not knowing one way or the other!

[soonersfan]

Wow, I would be frustrated too! I wish I knew what to say. I hope you hear something soon.

[Waiting_for_my_baby]

I totally understand! I hope it works out! Please let us know when you hear something.

[bevy]

Ok Melissa, first thing monday morning you CALL the SW. I would be calling every day or ask that she touches base everyday from now till the birth! She needs to maybe work on getting ahold of emom or contact the hospital where she is supposed to deliver baby.

It is not fair to be left hanging. YOu need to put on your not so patient boots now!

[Daisy1339]

I agree with Bevy! Even if the news is grim, and she's having second thoughts, at least that's SOMETHING!

[mkviola]

Thank you so much for your support. I can tell today will be an anxious day for me.

Daisy, emom is 16 hours away, so we were only going to be doing a conference call. That was a MONTH ago. I can absolutely understand and respect if emom does not want to do that, but I think we would have more clarity if we had more communication. The paperwork usually includes info on both eparents (if possible) and health info. She hasn't turned it in, because she hasn't met with the counselor (which worries me. I hope she's had some counseling, but I don't think so).

She should have had an appt. on Friday and found out about being induced. I know her priority is not to contact the agency (not a bad thing. Just how it is). I am starting to think we tell sw down there that IF she has the baby and IF she still wants us to parent, we will do that (depending on edad and if we are placed again at that point~ which is highly unlikely). Otherwise, our portfolios are going back out there. Our sw up here said there have been an increase in placements again, so that gives us hope...

Tara, my boots are on!

[jeremiah24:11]

I totally agree with bevy. I would be calling everyday at this point (twice a day or more if necessary) It is crazy that you have gone this far and haven't been given more information. I hope the best for you, but it does sound a little suspicious. Keep us posted. I'll be praying for a happy ending!

[lotsa_love_2give]

Melissa!!!!

Let us know what you find out today, if you can get ahold of anyone!

Praying and thinking of you!

[mkviola]

Cross posting from our fall waiting thread.

So, this morning, I called our sw up here and she isn't in until tomorrow, which I suspected. She works 3 days a week and will be there tomorrow. Then I called the sw down in Louisiana. She answered with, "I'll call you right back, okay?" I said okay (not sure if she even heard me) and she hung up. That was at 9:00 this morning. It's now 12:15. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh! Seriously??? Okay, I think it's time to say good-bye and get our portfolios back out there. What do you think?

[Prettyboicris]

Melissa, I think you have to do what you have to do. While you are waiting you could be missing out on your forever child. wait another hour and call back again and remind her that she was "supposed to" call you "RIGHT BACK". I think it is fair enough to find out what is going on since you are the one on hold with no information.