[katielou1918]

My husband was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease in his early teens. We are concerned about passing the disease on to our biological children. Since very little is known about the origin of Crohn's Disease, we have no way of knowing for sure, therefore we would just have to take the risk. This fact led us to contemplate adoption which both of us strongly support.

I was wondering if anyone else has been in a similiar situation. If so, I would appreciate any advice.

Thank you in advance for your help.

[Lovebug]

I have 3 very close people that have Crohn's. All of them have biological children....2 have grown children and grandchildren, the other has a 14mo baby. So far, none of their children and grandchildren have showed any signs of the disease. Can you talk to your doctor and see what his/her opinion is? IMO, I can't see how Crohn's would be a factor to not have biological children.

Good luck!

[Quesita]

First of all, welcome to the forums.

I think that everyone's journey to adoption is very personal. For some, infertility lead to the decision to build a family through adoption. Others decided to bring additional children into their homes through adoption. Others, like me, considered the options for becoming a single parent, and adoption has been the best choice. For some it is a religious or spiritual calling.

You found your way here. You and your husband have very personal reasons for considering adoption. You want a family. You are concerned about passing on a disease, which many people live with. Many people with Crohns disease have biological children. You may adopt a child, only to find that that child has inherited a disease from his/her biological parents.

But I suspect your story is more complex. Something brought you to the point of asking this question on this forum.

I think you will find many, many happy families here that were formed by adoption. Some families in crisis. Some families facing challenges with children that they never imagined. Some families who are devestated by the disappointments that the process of attempting to adopt can bring. Some families who had a marvelously easy process. And others, like you, who are just contemplating the first steps.

Welcome to the journey of exploration. And maybe, welcome to the journey of adoption.

[shy_bear]

I also can't see how this would be a determining factor in not having bio kids.
Do you think adopted children don't come with a family history of physical and/or mental illness???
We have two girls adopted domestically; our oldest we have minimal health background b/c biograndma was adopted and has no history. Biodad was never in the picture. We have the most info on our youngest daughter; there is a long family history of depression and heart disease. Our son was adopted from fc. We know NOTHING of his family history.

[sheababy]

I am adopted myself and have a 2 year old adopted DD so I think adoption is a wonderful choice for many reasons. However, be aware that if you adopt you may not have the full medical history of the child, you can never guarantee they won't come down with some disease or another.

With DD, her bfather was unknown, bmom had no history of illness but she was adopted as well.

[Whirled_Peas]

Our baby's bio mom has a pretty healthy background and she did not do drugs. We got one of those rare healthy babies with no known problems. But the birthmom and her daughters needed speech therapy. We know nothing about the birthfather's background. We have just had our daughter evaluated because of some delays. She will need speech therapy and other interventions.

I don't know much about Crohn's disease, but have you considered a sperm donor? You'd know tons about the donor and they would be selected for not having genetic diseases, though there still is no guarantee.

[yehudit]

KatieLou,
Your post really got my attention. I have Crohn's and this definitely was part of our decision to adopt. But your situation is probably different since it's the male, not the female that has it. I have 2 kids: a biological one (thing 1) and an adopted one (thing 2).

Some Crohn's drugs can affect male fertility, but those are rarely used anymore. I'm not sure if TNF inhibitors affect it or not, but I know some of the older ones do. However, if you have trouble becoming pg you might have your husband's sperm count checked. As far as worrying that your child might get Crohn's, that is very much a legitimate worry and on my mind. However, if only one parent has it the chances of passing it to your child is small, around 3-5%. This is greater than the general population, but still pretty small as genetics go. If you both had it the chances would still only be about 25%.

In our case, I've had a lot of trouble with my health over the years and I had a terrible flare during and after my pregnancy. After my 2nd surgery I had trouble getting pg again (I'd never had trouble getting pg, only staying pg) and we decided that perhaps there was a bigger reason, KWIM?

As I said, the risk of inheriting Crohn's is fairly small, but if you think you couldn't live with even that risk, adoption is a true blessing in its own right. If you or your husband want to see a terrific Crohn's support site, check out Crohn's Zone - Support for sufferers of Crohn's and Colitis IBD Bowels. Very supportive and helped me through some tough times.

Best of luck,

[yehudit]

I forgot to mention that you can feel free to pm me if you want to talk more in-depth.

[mommytoEli]

i'm not in the same situation...but i think i understand what you are saying. like some others here, i have adopted children with special needs. some were unknown to me until we were well into the adoption...some were unknown to me until after finalization. i am okay with all of the needs that have presented themselves and have learned that there are no guarantees in life....especially when it comes to kids....but i think that if i were likely to birth a child with special needs, i'd rather adopt a child with special needs. i think whether you are trying to adopt a healthy child or just do not wish to run the risk of creating an unhealthy child when you could adopt a special needs child already in need of a home, adoption could be right for you. do your homework, research agencies, talk about what it is you are looking for in adoption, and what you can offer to a child in need of a family. one thing i have learned from being here at adoption.com is that everyone has their own reason for choosing adoption. i even have different reasons for choosing adoption for each of the 5 children i have in my home. i want one more child, and this adoption i have even a different reason for adoption than i have the 5 previously. lol. adoption is a very personal journey. good luck!

[startedover]

The only thing I can add is that I have 2 bio children and 1 adopted child. YES YOU CAN LOVE a non blood realated child as much as a blood related.

[Linny]

Katielou....I have to tell ya I completely understand where you're coming from. While not having this disease, our extended family suffers/suffered from severe early-onset arthritis and diabetes. As my dh and I grew up with people who had these health problems---though neither of us had these ourselves----we felt they were/are serious enough to not biologically reproduce. Besides this was our belief in not adding more children to the planet (a throw-back to growing up in the 60's with the 'Zero-population growth' movement).

If you believe Crohn's disease is reason enough, then it is as only the two of you know how debilitating the disease can be. The arguement that you might have an adopted child with the same (or more) issues isn't relevant, IMO, because THAT child will have been already born...not brought about because 'you' decided to reproduce despite your knowing the consequences of the disease. (That arguement was sometimes thrown in our faces....)

As someone already pointed out, the reasons for adoption are personal. I'm saying I applaud you in considering it, rather than possibly passing on a disease you know to be difficult to live with.
Good luck in whatever you decide.

Sincerely,

Linny

[live4rachael]

As a couple of previous posters have already explained, I too understand the difference between not wanting to pass on some genes and rather go the adoption route (since that child is already created).

Both my DH and I are carriers of Spinal Muscular Atrophy, though we didn't find out until after our first (bio) daughter was born and diagnosed. We knew the statistics (25% chance of future children also having SMA) so that was more than enough to stop us from going the bio route and going the adoption route instead.

I wish you all the luck in your journey and you make your decision.

[Fran27]

I understand your concern, I would probably be thinking twice about having a bio child in these conditions too... even if the risk is small, it's still there.

You could try sperm donor, in our case it was an option also but we just preferred to go with adoption... it's a personal choice. Just keep in mind that in most situations though, you'll only have the birthmother's word about genetic diseases in her family.

Best of luck in your journey!

[Cjmeck]

I think if you chose to have biological children, you'd actually have a bit of an advantage as far as health issues go; you already KNOW their genetic predisposition to certain diseases. And imho, that is like 75% of the battle. You know their is the possibility of Crohns so that is great. You can be proactive should your child exhibit symptoms, you know what to look for.
Often with children who are adopted, their medical history is not so detailed. It could be hard to pin point a rare condition if you don't know that you have a genetic link to that condition, you know? We all come with some health related baggage so I guess its better deal with the enemy you know vs. the unknown.
So, in your situation, I wouldn't rule out biologically conceived children just based on the Crohns thing. Adoption has been an enormous blessing in my life; but it certainly does not come without risk.
Best wishes!

[katielou1918]

First of all, I want to thank all of you who responded to my post.

We are aware that adopting does not guarantee us a healthy child. I believe Linny said it best:

"The arguement that you might have an adopted child with the same (or more) issues isn't relevant, IMO, because THAT child will have been already born...not brought about because 'you' decided to reproduce despite your knowing the consequences of the disease."

My husband's Crohn's is quite severe. Although he watches what he eats and lives a healthy lifestyle, he still has regular flare-ups and does not respond to normal treatments. If the current medication does not work, he will have to have a colostomy. Neither of us want to see our children go through this.

However, Cjmeck made a good point. We would be able to recognize familiar health issues in our biological children (i.e. symptoms) than adopted children.

Once again, thank you all for your advice and kind words of support. Although we have a lot to think about, one thing is for sure - whether we have biological children or adopt, they will be loved all the same - how they come into our lives doesn't change this.