[Stormster]

At the pool on Saturday E gently splashed a 4 year old boy. He didn't like it and E stopped. (I'm super strict about splashing other kids and sand throwing).

Remember E JUST turned 2.....so the other kid walks toward my BABY and puts his hands around his THROAT and pushes him down by the throat. E was laughing and then surprised but fine.

I on the other hand was a bit shocked but more shocked that the mother didn't say ANYTHING to me!?!?!?! AND didn't scold her son! She took him out, asked him to sit down but didn't enforce ANY time out or anything. He was back in the water in an instant.

So part of me was like ....she didn't let it escalate, after that it's not my business and part of me was amazed she didn't say anything to me like "sorry" or enforce a time out for that! It seemed extreme to me....chocking????

[Fran27]

No kidding!!! No wonder so many kids are brats nowadays... Glad E is ok!

[Fe2002]

Wow... what did you do when he did that? At the very least, a stern "be careful!" and a pointed look in the mother's direction would have been in order.

Glad your DS is okay... jeez!

[Cjmeck]

Wow, unbelievable... I've been in similiar tough situations on playgrounds, ect... And, I've also been the parent of the kid doing something wrong. She absolutely should have made him apologize, explained that we don't do that to people, enforced a timeout--especially to a BABY. But seeing how she decided it was no big deal, I would have just moved my kid away from hers. And assuming that wasn't a possibility, i would have totally helicoptered around my child to keep the other kid in check. Maybe she didn't see the whole thing, maybe she just assumed it was mutual "boy play" and misjudged E's age, or maybe she is just another lazy parent... But yep, its your business when its likely E will get injured by her laziness. Hover, hover, hover around those kids/parents.

[Eponine]

Ugh - I had a similar experience over the weekend. A boy about a year older than DS was just very aggressive in general and kept poking, pinching, hitting DS.

DS's daycare teaches the kids to say "I don't like that" when other kids do something mean to them - DS isn't quite 2 yet so he says it but it's not clear.

The other boy's mom did scold her son when he did something but made no motion to actually stop him. I chose to keep my mouth shut and just pick up DS and start him on another activity when I heard him say "I don't like that".

I went this route because we will most likely not see this family again, or if we do it will be several months. That and I felt it wasn't my business - I was there, DS was safe, and he won't ever be alone with the aggressive boy.

[Cjmeck]

Originally Posted by Fe2002

Wow... what did you do when he did that? At the very least, a stern "be careful!" and a pointed look in the mother's direction would have been in order.

Glad your DS is okay... jeez!

Exactly what I do. I mean, E isn't old enough or verbal enough to defend himself. So, this is a perfect response to the situation without totally putting the other mom on the warpath.

[megaphonemo]

I had to shoot the look to about 10 different kids yesterday - splashing each other in the rec pool. Hello, do you not see other people, including me holding #2, getting hit.....? I finally started saying out loud, 'no splashing' while shooting the look.... And these kids parents were all there too.....

If my 4 year old strangled someone - even in play - that they did not know (not that it is okay to strangle a friend -but you know what I mean) I'd have died! I am sure I would have tried to get her in timeout, but I still have to pick my battles. I'd have just made her stay away from the kid completely.... (BTW - she'd have splashed back big time, but not strangled!!)

Good luck!

Mega

[millie58]

My kids are older but I make them apologize; punish them; and do whatever else is necessary.

[shy_bear]

You are MUCH nicer than I am!!! I would have said something to her! It is not ok for any child to put their hands on another kid in an aggressive manner esp. when the aggressor is older.
When my oldest was 8 or 9 mths old I went grocery shopping with her. She was sitting strapped in the cart. There was a lady there that had several kids; they were all walking behind her and she was not paying attention. One of the boys was pushing a cart. I reach over to get something and before I know it he is riding on the cart and landing on ours right where my baby is. It pushed her legs back and she was ok, but I had a few choice words for the mom

[PersianMama]

Last summer at our neighborhood pool, my son (5 at the time) brought a ball with us. He could only swim while using a pool noodle. He was throwing his ball and then swimming to get it. At one point, he asked me to get it. I was watching his 2 year old sister, so I asked him why he couldn't. He said that a lady had it...I looked over and a woman had his ball in her hand. I suggested that he ask for it back. He's shy, so I was surprised when he actually did it. He used a loud voice and said "please" and do you know what she did? She handed the ball to her baby!!! I called across the pool to ask for it back, and she said, "Oh, I didn't know," in a sneering voice. Afterwards, my son told me that he'd already asked her for it before he ever informed me, and she had said, "Why?"

[Stormster]

Ugh, also today I see those 4 year olds eye-ing E, circling for his toy, grabbing him....

I literally felt like I should be paid today for watching every other kid there (and there were about 30 under the age of 5) OK not EVERY kid but there were 4 or 5 just hanging around our little group because we had the good toys, the good snacks and obviously the good caretakers.

[aclee]

Anytime anyone puts their hands on my kid...it's immediately my business...

I would have said something to a 4 year old if his mother had no stepped in.

[gigigeorge]

I have found that as a parent I am definitely more vocal than I was previously. If someone hits one of my kids, I dont even wait for the parents not to do anything any more I tell them in my best mommy voice that we do not hit and move my kids somewhere else. If mine are the ones hitting, they get 1 reminder then we leave (as I have 2 boys and boys tend to be more rambunctious). If I am at a community swimming pool and kids splash around me and the baby I tell them not to splash around the baby in my loud mommy voice, that usually gets their and their parents attention - lol. I know it might come across as being mean but I have 3 kidlets to watch out for !!!

g.

[Stormster]

You know I'm starting to think it's going to have to be that way. Today it was so crowded I couldn't even TELL who belonged to who though!

[sbaglio]

Sorry, Storm. Did E stop splashing the other kid himself, or did you tell him to stop? If the other mother didn't see you actually say something, maybe she was reacting to that, getting revenge, as it were. Either way, splashing someone and strangling them are two totally different things, and she should have disciplined her son. Imagine what else the kid does and gets away with, if she has such a reaction to her child throttling other kids!