[WaitingforaBoy]

Based on some recent assessments we have had done for our DD we have a sneaking suspicion that she could be suffering from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
I emailed bmom when we first started seeing Easter Seals etc just to let her know. I just got an email back from her stating that she wanted to help as much as she could and to please ask her any questions we needed. I had previously asked her when she started receiving prenatal care. She said that she didn't know she was pg until 3 months-ish and didn't start seeing the dr until around 4-5 months. I know that bmom is a very heavy drinker and since she didn't know she was pg until so far along I'm thinking we're right on with the FAS suspicion.

How do I go about asking her if she was drinking without making her feel like I think she's a bad person etc?

[pwheatle]

If she is being true to her word and wanting to help out then I would pose the question something like...when you did not know you were pregnant do you remember drinking alcohol? If she answers yes ask her to hazard a guess as to how much and then multiply it by a minimum of two. It could possibly reduce the sting of the question if you can remove some of the guilt by giving her the 'out' of not knowing she was pregnant.

[WaitingforaBoy]

Exactly...I don't want her to feel guilt because of the question. It would just be so great to know so we can get the best/right kind of therapy for DD. Thanks for the quick reply.

[pwheatle]

Np. The thing is here in Canada is that some of the clinics that assist with diagnosis and 'treatment' of kids with FAS will not see the kids unless they can get a report of maternal prenatal drinking

[WaitingforaBoy]

Interesting about Canada. The idea of fetal alcohol hadn't crossed my mind until we saw the pediatrician and she suggested the possibility.