[WaitingforaBoy]

Hi.
I just needed to pop over here to get the opinion of others. Our DD will be 18 months of 7/17. She isn't walking yet and isn't talking yet. Just started babbling a month ago. She can pull to standing and attempts to take a step or two but it's almost like she's drunk. She immediately falls over and just appears to be so dizzy and topsy turvy.
She was saying mama & dada around 12 months but isn't saying them much anymore. She used to do a lot of repeating sounds after us, but doesn't do much anymore either.
Obviously I am very concerned. We have an appt. scheduled with Easter Seals to hopefully have an assessment done. I am fearing the worst, but crossing my fingers for the best.
It's very hard to see babies younger than her walking & talking and knowing she should be too. I just get discouraged. Also, I begin to struggle with anger/feelings of unfairness for DD. I know that some drugs were involved inutero but don't know what and I'm not exactly sure how to approach the issue with her birthmom. We are very open in the adoption, but this is a rough subject. I just remember the day we took DD to the dr for the first time after placement her birthmom kept asking if "everything was ok? Is she normal?"

Anyways, any thoughts/opinions/insights would be great!

[startedover]

Not trying to give you false hope, but sounds a little like an ear issue. The dizziness and the fact that she use to repeat sounds and now is not. I would consider fluid in the ear or something as a possiblity. I will pray all turns out fine.

[pwheatle]

Thinking the same thing....fluid in the ears. Good luck and keep us posted!

[sbaglio]

I'm concerned. I think seeing the doctor is a good idea.

[ToraMay]

Im thinking same thing... Inner ear problem... check it out with dr no matter what.

[Stormster]

DS started talking a bit and then stopped completely for a few months and at about 20 months slowly started up again. We did have him evaluated for speech and he qualified. In a couple of months why don't you have her evaluated?

The dizziness thing for sure have that checked out. Might be her ears or a vestibular issue.

Good luck. Oh and before you start talking to her birth mother about the drugs, why don't you find out what else might be going on? Turns out some of E's stuff is genetic, some fall into the normal range.

[SuzBerg]

I think the Easter Seals assesment is a great idea. Our daughter (2.5 yrs old when she came to us) recieved ECI services from them until she was 3 (and then she started PPCD through our public school system). I would also do as pp suggested and take her to a doctor to rule out any other health issues.

I know it's hard, but try not to compare your baby to others. All kids develop at different "speeds". Our daughter did not walk until she was 28 months old and didn't not talk very much at 2.5 when she came to us. It can be very discouraging and I also have felt bad for my daughter with unfairness with the things she has to deal with BUT she was/is always happy. She is 7 now and although she still has a few delays, She is going to 2nd grade AND she reads, and does math on grade level (writing is a little harder but she's not too far behind on that either).

I hope that everything goes well for your little one.

[Nevada Jen]

Easter Seals is a good first step. I suspect they will check her hearing there also, so it might save you a trip to the doctor. I have seen perfectly normal kids on your DD's developmental path. That is how I would describe my son when he started walking. And he is "typically developing." Try not to build up resentment against her birthmom. Its possible (likely even) there is nothing wrong with her and even if there is something wrong with her, you don't know at this point is has anything to do with drugs.

I know its scary but you will get through it. As a mom to 1 very disabled child and 1 exceptional child, I have been on both sides of the comparing my kid to others fence. With my disabled child, once we found out she had a disability, I found I could let go of all the comparisons and just enjoy her as she is. I find it harder to do that with my "typically developing" child.

[feelingreyt]

My 4 yr old walked early, but he was clumsy and his speech was terrible, almost nonexistant at 18 months. He had a very short pherninum?(not sure how's pronounced or spelled, but it's otherwise known as tongue tied)His Pedi finally sent him to a ENT they put in tubes, clipped the thingy under his tongue and the boy has not stopped talking since!
He is my bio, by the way, and was not exposed to drugs, second hand smoke, nothing harmful. Some things just are out of our control.
I definately recommend you ask the pedi about her ears.

Not to highjack, but my dd(also bio) is "tongue tied" as well, but not nearly as severe as my ds was. But she talked very early, and hers was never corrected, so who knows. We didn't even know she was until they diag. my son. Then I went to all my neices and nephews looking under their tongues, grandparents, aunts, uncles, NO ONE else in our family has that. How wierd is that???

[ourdreamcametru]

I would be concerned too and think Easter Seals is a good place to start. As for talking with her birthmother about what was used before your daughter was born, I think you HAVE to know and would just explain to her that DD is delayed and you are having some testing done and need to know what to tell them so they can help her. I know it won't be easy but when it comes to your child you just have to step out of your comfort zone and maybe she has to do the same for the child.

[feelingreyt]

I want to add that my ason has digestive problems and I HAD to ask his bmom what drugs she took. It wasn't easy, but it was something I had to do.
The problem there is that drug addicts are not always honest. I know she told me she only ABUSED one drug, but she doesn't think that the meds that are prescribed to her are drugs, even if she takes a handful instead of one. So ask, but be prepared to know she might fudge the truth to not look so bad.

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by feelingreyt

I want to add that my ason has digestive problems and I HAD to ask his bmom what drugs she took. It wasn't easy, but it was something I had to do.
The problem there is that drug addicts are not always honest. I know she told me she only ABUSED one drug, but she doesn't think that the meds that are prescribed to her are drugs, even if she takes a handful instead of one. So ask, but be prepared to know she might fudge the truth to not look so bad.

This is why i wouldn't ask. Chances are she won't be honest, if she ready to talk about it she would on her own. It might really harm the relationship to bring it up. Why not just go on the assumption she was exposed. It doesn't change the treatment anyway.

[Nevada Jen]

I have started a this post a bunch of times and chosen not to post because I hate to get in the middle of any sort of disagreement but I really would not ask her until you know if anything is actually wrong with your daughter and if drugs could have caused it. I had many life long relationships ruined when people suggested that my daughters disability was because of something I did during pregnancy. My daughter ended up having a recessive genetic condition that nothing I did or did not do could have changed. I simply will never forgive the people who did not believe in me. I don't think you want to set up that kind of dynamic with your DD's birthmom when you already have a very good relationship. Combine that with the chances that you are not going to get honest responses (and even if you do the doctors will not believe they are honest), it would not be worth it to me to ask.

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by Nevada Jen

I have started a this post a bunch of times and chosen not to post because I hate to get in the middle of any sort of disagreement but I really would not ask her until you know if anything is actually wrong with your daughter and if drugs could have caused it. I had many life long relationships ruined when people suggested that my daughters disability was because of something I did during pregnancy. My daughter ended up having a recessive genetic condition that nothing I did or did not do could have changed. I simply will never forgive the people who did not believe in me. I don't think you want to set up that kind of dynamic with your DD's birthmom when you already have a very good relationship. Combine that with the chances that you are not going to get honest responses (and even if you do the doctors will not believe they are honest), it would not be worth it to me to ask.

I 100% agree

[WaitingforaBoy]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts/ideas.
Easter Seals has qualified DD for PT & Early Intervention services 4x a month. We had an appt with the pediatrician on Tuesday. She saw right away that DD was delayed and in need of services. On all the developmental questionaires I filled out she was consistently falling in the category of a 6-9 month old. She is almost 18 months. We had an appt scheduled for a hearing test, the ball is rolling with ENT and also with an Opthamologist to rule those things out.
The pediatrician mentioned the possiblity of FragileX, mild CP, or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She noticed a lot of what DD does falls into the autistic spectrum, yet she is pretty social so that makes her want to rule that out. I guess time and getting all these doctors visits out of the way will tell.