[beav]

I am so blessed to have 5 beautiful and healthy children and yet I want more! Lately it has really been waying on me heavy. It seems every where I go there are newborns and each time my heart gets heavier thinking I will never have that again.
I know the solution would be to adopt again but unfortunatley that isnt so easy for us.
With the economy the way it is and the modest income we live on it would be difficult. Not to mention with our kids spread out from 16 years to 2 years we are running like crazy now to attend all the sport events concerts work full time and still make special one on one time for the younger ones. Somedays I dont know where the day has gone before I have to start planning for the next.
My mind tells me their is no way we can fit a newborn in to that schedule, let alone find the way to finance another adoption, but my heart tells me we have more love to give and God will help us find a way and I shouldnt give up.
Are some people just wired to forever want more children but there comes a time when you just have to stop, or am I just really off my rocker!!
How did you all know when it was time to be grateful and stop wanting for more, or how did you find the means to make it happen again???

[mommamarci]

I am anxious to see the replies here! My husband and I talk about this constantly. I say I will do foster care for the rest of my life. He says at some point, he will cut me off! I just don't ever see myself getting to a point where I no longer want a baby in the house!

[oceanica]

should I try to discourage you? It sounds like I should. I have 2 babies so things are a little more intense.
OK, imagine spending every night walking around the house singing and positioning a fussy baby in your arms in every possible way, only to jump in the shower and go to work when morning comes, feeling like you are high because you are so sleep deprived, night after night for months. Think: there is no end to this and I'm going to die before he sleeps even for a few hours!!

Buying out the store's supply of formula on a regular basis.

Never leaving babiesrus and sam's without at least a 200 dollar bill to pay.

Don't even THINK about air travel, or even car travel... it's too discouraging.

Incessantly washing hundreds of tiny outfits, bibs, washclothes, towels, and miniature socks (which never match somehow) and trying to get them all hung and put away before you have to wash them again.

Spending every minute of your time with them, not being able to shower and barely being able to find time to brush your teeth, and still feeling like you didn't spend enough time with either one. Meanwhile, your house chronically looks like a tornado came through.

The spit up and poopoo doesn't bother me at all, but MIL wasn't too happy when she was covered head to toe with puke right before we were going out to dinner.
(Also having Athena make the farting sounds that I taught her at the cashier wasn't really thrilling... but that was my fault.)

Of course it's all worth it, but I can't go into that or I'll have you convinced that you need another baby!!

[KarenInCa]

Depends on which day you ask me.
Today....I'd say one is enough for me!! I put her to bed at 8pm, and here I am still trying to get her to go back to bed...AGAIN. It's now 9:54 pm and she's tried everything in the books-of-law-that-only-kids-are-allowed-to-read!
Tonight....one is MORE than enough.
Tomorrow night.......eh....back to normal.

[KarenInCa]

BTW- if you've got MOM in your blood, you never stop. My oldest son is 25 yrs old. I raised three step children older than him also. At 42 we decided to adopt our daughter. At 47 we're now waiting for our second daughter to be adopted.
I say go for it....but wait till they're all in bed and asleep before making up your mind. :-)

As for the how's. Both times, we borrowed from our 401Ks. Still paying back for the second one, and probably still will be by the time we get her. I think there's a natural high you get from waiting and wondering and getting and loving.
But honestly, as long as it's in your heart, you will find a way to do it again. And you will be blessed.

[greenrobin]

I don't think it ever goes away completely.

My bio kids are 25, 22, 21, and 13. Tomorrow we sign pre-adoptive placement papers on our 2 little ones who are 3 and 5. They came to us 2 years ago through foster care.

I don't feel like I'm finished yet either. I'm 48 and dh is 50.

It's a little odd to think about being in my early 60s when Flower Girl graduates from high school, but, hey, I'm going to be that old anyway, so why not do something useful and fulfilling along the way?

Yes, I'm spending money that I could be saving. I'm worrying over stuff that I could be beyond. I'm waking up nights to calm fears and get drinks of water and who knows what all. I'm also happy. I love having kids around.

And that's the key for me. I know that God put me on this earth for kids. It's a calling, this mom thing. And I'll have as many kids as He wants to send me. Not everyone feels like that, and that's okay. We only need to be who we are called to be, without guilt, without fear and without worry, no matter what your call is.

Do you want more? Can you do it? If the answer is yes, then go for it!

[Magic_Hat]

Maybe I'll feel differently when my 2 year old (currently sick) and my 9 week old aren't babies anymore but we are done. I love tiny babies but to me they are more fun when they get a little older. And not to make it all about money, but I don't want to be so broke providing the essentials that we can't take trips and vacations and provide our kids with the extras that cost money. And I want to be able to send them to college and also have enough retirement that they aren't taking care of us (monetarily) in our old age, like we may have to do with DP's mom. I hate being stressed about money-been there, done that. If money were no object and we were younger (we are 43 and 41), maybe one more but the reality is, it is and we're not!

[arkansas parent]

Some days I really want another baby. I doesn't help that my twin sister called yesterday to tell me she is pregnant.
But the days my teenager is being a brat, T is doing everything possible to annoy me and baby A is cranky I think ,why do I want more.
I would love to adopt an older girl (between 2-6yrs). DH says we are done because he is afraid we are going to 'press our luck" and have a failed adoption. But I know if the right situation was to come up he would jump at it.

[startedover]

you know my thoughts. If you don't feel finished , you may not be. I was the same way until last year, and we were presented with a possible baby and thank God by turning it dow, I knew we were through. So I actually came to a place where I was through. However I spent 20 years NOT BEING THROUGH. I told someone the other day, out of my 22 years of marriage, if you take the first year and the last year off, I actively tried to add kids to our family for probably 18 of the 20 years. The only breaks were when my father was ill, and a few other times. But after the last one the desire peaked again but slowly disapate over the next year till I knew I was through. Of course part of that was because my 20 year old is already talking about when she gets her RN adopting my grandbabies if she is not in a relationship. THAT HELPED ALOT.

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by beav

I am so blessed to have 5 beautiful and healthy children and yet I want more! Lately it has really been waying on me heavy. It seems every where I go there are newborns and each time my heart gets heavier thinking I will never have that again.
I know the solution would be to adopt again but unfortunatley that isnt so easy for us.
With the economy the way it is and the modest income we live on it would be difficult. Not to mention with our kids spread out from 16 years to 2 years we are running like crazy now to attend all the sport events concerts work full time and still make special one on one time for the younger ones. Somedays I dont know where the day has gone before I have to start planning for the next.
My mind tells me their is no way we can fit a newborn in to that schedule, let alone find the way to finance another adoption, but my heart tells me we have more love to give and God will help us find a way and I shouldnt give up.
Are some people just wired to forever want more children but there comes a time when you just have to stop, or am I just really off my rocker!!
How did you all know when it was time to be grateful and stop wanting for more, or how did you find the means to make it happen again???

I guess I don't know the answer but I do understand the feeling. I still struggle with it every day, right alongside putting first and foremost the blessings I have already received. I know that we won't be adding to our family. If I had my way, I would foster babies for the indefinite future, but Hubby is overwhelmed but the possibility of what that might mean to our little family. And I do understand his point and his perspective matters. So I work at it (some days extra hard!)... work at being content and enjoying the present and looking forward to the future that I have, not the possible future I might have had if things would have been as I thought they would be.

[Yash]

Have you thought about fostering? This way you can have baby time, yet the child may or may not stay. This is also an affordable way to adopt and if you're not interested in adopting, then you know you helped a child out until their forever family was found or until they were reunited with their birth family.

I used to see babies and knew in my soul I wanted another one. I had baby fever. Then my third child came home and I knew this was it. All the running around, the busy, packed weekends, I can't imagine adding a fourth. And now when I see others' newborns, I smile and not feel like 'I want one too.'

[mommy3]

It seems that for many women (and men), the joy of a child is always there; I could easily say "one more" yet again, although our family does feel complete. That feeling of a baby coming to us, a new child, another life, the sweetness, the hope -- it's just the best. In reality, I kept my heart at bay when my ds (our 2nd child) was getting into his 4's and 5's and then I accepted that it wasn't just "longing for a baby", it was "longing for MY baby" -- and then we started a 2nd adoption. That baby is now 3. Most days I feel like our family is complete but when I hold a baby or really look in my heart, it'd be so easy. Still, the deep wanting, the part of my heart that was really EMPTY until each of my children were here, isn't as lost and painful as it was before. If either of our children's birthmothers called and asked us to adopt a child of theirs, ohhhh, that would be a real soul-searching decision. I wasn't young when any of my children were born, so I've already decided I have to stay healthy, in good shape and young at heart in order to be there for them. My oldest, who is 23, tells me that our next child will be HER child, my grandchild, when she's about 30. Still, you never know -- and my dh always gulps when I say that. We now have an empty bedroom at home and I keep teasing him and telling him we need to fill it up. susan

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by KarenInCa

I say go for it....but wait till they're all in bed and asleep before making up your mind. :-)

if you wait until they are all in bed before making up your mind, you will ALWAYS want more. lol. at night, i surf the web looking at adoption sites and planning for my 6th child. by day, i know i can't possibly fit one more child at the table or in the car, and i realize my house is already so chaotic and loud that maybe i should stop. then they fall asleep....all is quiet, and the cycle starts again. lol!

[mom2samuel]

I completely sympathize with the babyitis. We have two boys, ages 7 and 2, and I'm dying for a baby girl. Of course, my husband thinks we can't afford it, and waiting for our last baby was very emotionally draining (as well as financially). Also, I'll be 40 this summer (sigh). Every day I want to bring it up to him and reach some sort of decision, before too much time gets away from me. I've prayed a lot about this...and will continue to do so. As far as fostering, I don't think that's for us. Our county (and area) is the pits as far as foster programs go.

Here's to finding resolutions...one way or another...

Michelle

[Happywife]

Yes, count me in! My dh and are not even yet officially waiting (still waiting on that darn homestudy!! ) and we are already discussing ways we're going to raise money for the fees of our second adoption!! LOL We have baby fever - BAD!