[crick]

Been thinking about this a lot lately. When I say this phrase, I mean "Look, deal with your situation, your emotions, have your bad days, but don't let it consume your entire being or life."

I rarely say it to people because I don't want to come off as diminishing anything or saying it doesn't matter. Of course things matter and of course everyone deals with things in their own way. However, sometimes I feel after I don't know 10 years of something...it's really time to let it go. Yet, if I said it, it would be rude, right? lol

What does it mean to you?

[joskids]

If someone told me to "get over it" -- I'd think they thought my "issue" was no big deal and were less concerned with how I felt about it than I was.

I'd probably say something more like "when I'm feeling the way you're feeling, I give myself 24 hours to feel sorry for myself and then I just have to let it go."

[Daisy1339]

My latest phrase that I've used on one of my sisters and my brother is, "Okay...you're on a "loop", do you realize that you're repeating yourself over and over and over? I've already responded to "x y z", so can we choose a new topic?"

I had a friend like this. She was very toxic and drained me of a lot of time and energy before I said the above to her. We aren't friends anymore, BUT she isn't my vampire anymore, either.

[loveajax]

I literally "counseled" my best friend through a bad marriage and divorce for like FOUR YEARS!! It literally drained the life out of me. I don't think saying "get over it" is usually the best response. But this is what I have learned to do, "I know you want some objective advice. As an outsider, I see x, y and z and I think you need to realize this is not changing and you need to take steps to move forward." (A lot of mumbo jumbo for "get over it!" heehee!).

[JustCourtney]

I have a similar phrase that I find myself uttering in my head when I listen to people complain about their life (not too often out loud), which is,"Get over yourself." I am in no way trying to tell them that they don't matter, or their feelings, but to alert them that maybe they need to put it into perspective.

It is usually when someone is droning on or complaining about something tiny, and really, very inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. For example, I understand that you ordered your sandwich a certain way because that is the way you like it, and it is a bummer that whoever made it didn't put the pickles on...but, when you spend 30 minutes complaining about it - you have allowed it to consume 30 minutes of your day. You gave a sandwich void of pickles the power to ruin your day. Nobody is to blame but you.

I tend to be a glass half full kind of gal, and have very little patience for people who let everyday nonsense drag them down - especially when they want to drag me with them! I do think that a gentle (as in not phrased the way I would like to), reminder that it isn't that big of deal is sometimes in order. If they don't get it- oh, well. Probably don't want to be around them much, anyway!

[nikkianni]

Originally Posted by loveajax

I literally "counseled" my best friend through a bad marriage and divorce for like FOUR YEARS!! !

If it takes THAT long, hunt me down and smack me!

As for the phrase, I try not to use it because like a PP said, it can make you sound like you don't think the other person's issue is important.
Now, there are times I have said and it needs to be said. You can only hang on to something for so long before it takes over your life. Sometimes a well-placed "get over it" from a friend is what is needed.

[sbaglio]

I say "Work it out" instead.

[DannieAS]

I don't know....

Because of my personality which can bounce back really quick...I tend to think it in my mind ALOT for people, but I'm good at biting my tongue because living with my mother who was not the fastest bouncing back person, I know it takes her longer to process information/grieve/whatever, before "getting over it". I usually take 24 hours and I"m good.

Then again, I had a life situation where I didn't "get over it" quick and a few years later and tons of money on a good shrink, I'm "over it", but I try to be sensitive...which sometimes is a chore for me because I am an extrovert, and let's be honest, sometimes us extroverts open our mouth and put foot in deep.

In short...I'd think before I'd say this.

[Stormster]

I might say that to someone I know very well (or a version of that) but how do you KNOW it's consuming someone and not just a fleeting thought if you don't know them well?

Plus I think "get over it' is kinda harsh. I like the whole "loop" idea, or saying you seem kind of "stuck" on that ...at the very least to let the person know they are being repetitive and getting anywhere.

[crick]

I rarely say it that way, because I know it sounds harsh and doesn't play out well. It doesn't get the empathy across at all. I do say it when faced with the same situation/person over and over and I've done all the empathy listening and advice I can give. There just comes a point in time for me where I can no longer sit there and pat the hand.

Now, on here and with adoption issues in general, I don't say it. I do try to use nicer terms and put it a "better" way. Not sure that way is any nicer though because if one reads between the lines, I'm still saying "Get over it"...kwim?