[feelingreyt]

Seems like when one thing happens, ten things follow suit!

We bought an Above Ground Pool. The men came out to set it up Saturday and then began filling it with water so they could finish the job today. Well, this morning hubby went out to check on it, which I'm surprised he did that because he turned the water off last night(took 2 days to fill with water). He found our beloved cat floating in there, DEAD Thank God Hubby found her and not me!

So do we tell the kids that Izzy drowned in the pool or that we just found her dead? We've been at work all day, so we have been able to avoid the "where is Izzy" questions so far!

I just want to say daddy found her dead, end of story. Daddy thinks it's a lesson well learned that the pool can be dangerous. We have already talked about our very strict rules regarding the pool. Should we use Izzy as an example of WHY we have those rules?

I just don't want my kids to not love this pool because of the cat! They begged for this thing! They can NOT wait to play in the water. I don't want them thinking about Izzy floating in the water!

Advice? Suggestions?

[thanksgivingmom]

Oooh, tough one....I think I would not tell the kids how the cat died

Though the truth may come out one day and they might be really angry that they never knew (my Mom lied about my chickens death and I was sure angry about it when the truth slipped years later....)

[loveajax]

oh, i am so sorry!!! i don't think i would tell them about the pool...you want them to have good memories of it. i hope the kids handle it well. two years (and one new puppy) after our beloved ajax died, dd still asks about him!

[arkansas parent]

I would just tell them your DH found her dead. Years ago my DH backed over our cat (two months after having part of her ears remove due to skin cancer). We were not sure if she would live or not. I just told DD that she was ran over by a car. I was afraid she would hate her daddy if she knew the truth. Luckly the cat lived (She had a broken pelvis, and lost part of her tail.) She died last month at around 15 yrs ( not sure how old she was when we got her 13yrs ago) .
She really did have 9 lives.

[Fran27]

Oh I'm so sorry I'm not sure what I would do

[Steph-Jason]

Oh I am soooo sorry Our cat the DH & I found & nurtured after we had only been dating a few months died about 3 weeks ago. We had him for 7 years. I know how hard it can be & I'm so sorry your family is having to deal with this.

I'm with the others- I don't think I would tell the kids how the cat died.

[shellers]

sorry about your loss.
We had a pool growing up, plenty of frogs will die in there to be used as "lessons".

Unless specifically asked I would not tell the kids that detail of the cat's death. It would affect their ability to enjoy the pool and they may feel it is their fault because they wanted a pool.

[brooklyn_girl]

Aww, that's so sad. I'm sorry. I think if the kids were older it would be easier to tell the truth, but I'd be worried they would be too scared of the pool if they knew the cat died there. I hope the pool is a place for happy memories from now on.

[Yes2Kids]

So sorry..we just lost our cat of nine years just two days ago, my 3 yr is very sad, I don't think she will ever quit talking about her, she is asking if she is coming home. I don't think I would tell them about the pool, our cat was run over by a car, and DH wanted to use as example about never going into roads.

[nikkianni]

Originally Posted by shellers

It would affect their ability to enjoy the pool and they may feel it is their fault because they wanted a pool.

I was thinking the same thing. Kids tend to see things in black and white. So, if they hadn't wanted the pool, there wouldn't have been a pool for their pet to drown in.....child logic.
It'll be tough enough for them to get over their cat being gone.

[feelingreyt]

Thanks so much for the advice.

We(ok, I) decided that we were NOT going to use the cat as a "lesson learned" kinda thing.
Sometimes animal just die, and yes we are sad, but I'm trying to leave it at that. I will only answer the questions as they come and do my best to leave out the pool without lying to them.

[GoddessDanu]

Poor kitty! I'm so sorry.

[kellyjames]

I agree with some of the previous posters, to tell that the cat died but not exactly how. We had to put our 12-year-old very sick dog, Sandy, to sleep in November (that's not the language we used, though--we said that her body was old and worn out and didn't work the right way anymore), and our nearly-four-year-old seemed very OK with it. A couple of months later, though, he started asking about her--why did she die, did it hurt, where did she go, that kind of thing. I told him that she's in Heaven, where people and good pets go, and that she doesn't hurt anymore and is happy and can watch over us. He took some time and digested this. A week or so later, he said, "Mommy? I think when Sandy got to Heaven, she ran right up to God and jumped because she was so happy and God told her she was a good dog!" I laughed and agreed. And I think he's right.

And I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is never easy.