[JenC]

After reading through Maddie's thread about waiting, I figured I'd start this, the official Longsuffering Waiters Club.

Waiting is hard, we know that. We want moms to make the best decision, whether it be parenting, placing with us, or placing with another family...but darn it, we want to be chosen! Domestic or international, it doesn't matter, there's just one rule - you must have passed the 9 month waiting mark. (Yeah, I made that rule up. I couldn't decide how long "long" really meant, and just picked 9 mo because...)

So, sit down in your comfy chair with a cup of your favorite beverage and share. Short intros would be appropriate - just name/how long you've been waiting. Let's do what we can to support each other in this L O N G wait for our kids!

[JenC]

I'll go first.

We've been waiting for a domestic AA placement since August of last year. Our paperwork is expiring next month so we're working on our update. Ick. We signed with an agency in OH, then signed with a referral agency also in OH in May after very little movement with the agency. It's been hard. We've waivered about updating the homestudy, thinking that heck, no one likes us. Yet here we are, knee deep in paperwork again.

Our first was born in Ethiopia. There's no popularity contest there. You get approval from both governments then wait for referral. There's no waiting to see who likes you, and in that way international is so much easier! I've had hard days of wondering why no one likes us and thinking that all you ever hear about is that AA babies are so hard to place, etc...yet here we are. We have a budget of about 15K, so it should be do able.

It just sucks sometimes. Some days I'm fine. Some days I'm an all out train wreck. Some days I think one kid is fine if no one likes us! I know (and I've said) all that feel-good talk about how "the right baby will find you" etc, and I know it's true...but this is HARD!

[DancinBear63]

OK, I'm in!

I'm Sharon, and my husband, Mike, and I have been homestudy approved for 9 months, but waiting in our hearts for 2 years. We're an interracial couple with no children, looking to be placed with an AA/CC infant. We were selected by an expectant mom in February, but declined the situation due to significant substance abuse, and other factors. When we amended our homestudy to exclude in utero drug exposure, we were told that it would significantly limit the number of situations that we would be considered for. We are currently the only interracial couple in our small, local agency, and have recently been told that we're in the 'prime' position, whatever that means.

We contemplated switiching to a much larger agency, and have completed all of their paperwork, except the homestudy update. Although everything seems perfect with them, if we make the switch to the new agency, we will fully exhaust our adoption budget and I won't be able to have an extended maternity leave. After a great deal of introspection, we've decided to stick with our orginal agency for a little bit longer. If nothing happens within the next 6-9 months, we'll go back to the big group, and will have more $$$ saved.

So, who's next?

[maddie036]

Good idea for a thread! Well, I will be next! We were approved on August 7, 2008 and have been waiting a little over about 10 months.

We don't find out every time that our profile has been chosen, but we were called about one situation a couple of months ago because our social worker had a some questions. Weren't chosen by the birthmom.

My friends who adopted through them were matched within a month. So, even though they said it could be up to 2 years, I had it in the back of my head that it would happen fast. Ah well.

We are working with a small local agency.

My moods have been all over the place while we have been waiting. Some days I am calm. Other days I feel like this -

[emtb79]

I am Susan and single, I figured if my mom could single parent my brother and I, I could do it too. I started this process in April of 2008 after taking care of everyone else's children and deciding I want my own children. I live in the boonies of Maryland.


I signed with a small agency in MD that is non-profit and fees are based on a sliding scale. Perfect fit for me.

So last month they place 5 babies. I was told I would be waiting approx. 2-3yrs (ouch). So here I sit and wait.

[JenC]

So what does everyone's week hold this week? I have a social worker coming by Thursday for our update, so I have paperwork to fill out and a house to straighten up. Today I cleaned the upstairs (bathroom, Josh's bedroom, spare bedroom), sorted out too-small clothes from Josh's closet, and did about 6 loads of laundry...and made dinner, folded laundry, kept up with dishes, etc...it was a busy day!

We were supposed to be shown for a situation in FL, but the mom didn't keep her appt w/ the agency. She doesn't have a phone, so I don't know what happened, no word.

Anyone else with updates?

[wes's mom]

I am a mom to a wonderful 6 year old. He came to us after only 6 months of waiting. We had an opportunity to adopt our son's sibling but it fell through. He was so excited about having a sibling we decided to pursue another adoption. We have now been waiting for 14 months. We have decided to keep going until next April which is when our homestudy will have to be updated again. We are praying we will be chosen soon, but this waiting has been sooooo hard!

[brooklyn_girl]

DH and I have been waiting "officially" since last September and had a failed situation along the way, but our homestudy took a crazy amount of time to complete, like 8 months. We are pursuing independent adoption by working with an attorney. This week we are updating our homestudy paperwork, tons of fun!

[huggableteach]

I'm in. Can I join the club? We initially started with international adoption from Vietnam but after 8 months in the program, it closed down. We have now been pursuing domestic adoption for 12 months. I would have to say I consider 20 total months a significant wait and am rather sick of it but am trying to keep hope alive.

[Daisy1339]

I've got 2 months & 1 week before I can join your club. I HOPE I WON'T BE ABLE TO!!

Stay strong, girls!

[emtb79]

How's everyone doing this morning? Its rainy here on this wonderful Tuesday. My week entails pretty much the same thing watching the kids.

I added mowing the yard for the first time in 10 yrs. I got a new toy called the Scott's Classic Reel Mower. It's ol'fashioned no motor cutter. It really is lots of fun. I can't wait till all the parents pick up their kids so I can mow the yard(it just sounds so funny). The neighbors come down the road to stare and scratch their heads. My mom and I were lucky to buy the model home from the builders of this lovely 700,000 home neighborhood for less than half the price when the builder was going under.

[JenC]

A reel mower??? You're insane!

As for us, we were to be presented to a situation over last weekend, but mom didn't show up. Fine for her, I hope she made the right choice. Sucks for me. No more situations on the horizon.

[JenC]

also, I know I haven't commented to each of you personally, but I'm glad you all are here (well, ok, you know what I mean) and I hope we can help each other work through the misery!

[emtb79]

I'm loving the reel mower. Yeah my neighbors seem to think Im a little crazy using the mower too.

[JenC]

Ok, you all. I'm obviously killing time online during naptime when I should be being productive. I'm really bummed today. So...is it possible to come up with a list of positves about a long wait? I'll try to start...

#1. More time to save money (um, unless your DH buys a project car to work on...)