[sissyminsky]

jenc: We are basically in the same boat as you. However, we have been picked - twice - and both mothers decided to parent. The first time was a whirlwind, but the second time we really got involved with the birthmother and it really seemed it was going to happen. Emotionally that was a little harder because a part of e expected that we would have a baby this summer. But, we are still waiting for our baby.

sugar and spice: You referred to very open as being one visit a year. While it is not for everyone, we call every few weeks and visit probably 4-6 times a year, definitely for birthdays and holidays. I think there is a very wide continuum of communication possibilities.
It is funny that you bring this up too because we have been told that we might end up in a situation where we have less openness with the birthfamily. From our end of the spectrum, semi-open (with pictures and letters sent periodically by us) seems virtually closed. It is interesting seeing the two sides of the same coin.

My biggest problem is that my family really did not like seeing my pain when this match did not turn into a placement. I feel less support from them now when it comes to our agency and even adoption in general. I have people encouraging me to look elsewhere, which does not make any sense financially.

I think we are where we are for right now- but I have said if Christmas comes around and we are still waiting something might have to change.

[maddie036]

Regarding our wait, we are working with a small agency. We were told at the beginning that the wait would be up to 2 years. They don't make a ton of placements each year, but they do stop taking applications to balance the number of placements.

Although they are small, I am comfortable with them because I know that they are very well-established, and our SW has been working in this field for a long time.

We are probably middle of the road as far as what we are open to. We don't have any children yet.

I plan on meeting with our SW at the 1 year mark, so I am curious to see what she has to say.

[JenC]

Ok, just want to jump on and say that yesterday and today I've been really down about all this. I have days, good and bad, and it seems like I've been in a funk. No one truly understands why we're waiting so long. We're waiting for an AA baby, we have 1 already, stable marriage, open to drug exposure and some physical issues, blah blah blah blah...

We're with an agency and referral. We have a moderate budget.

What's taking so stinking long??

[sugarandspice697]

Wow JenC! I honestly don't know what to say... I'm sure this must be tough on you. At least with my daughter I knew why I waited so long.

I hope your placement comes right around the corner and that you don't wait nearly as long as I did.

[JenC]

Hi everyone.

Please join me in doing a little happy dance!

[Happywife]

Congratulations, JenC!!!!!!

[leenie71]

Congrats on the match, Jen C!!!!!

[maddie036]

JenC - Congratulations, that it wonderful news!!! If you can, let us know how you found out. Love those stories

[emtb79]

Theres the happy dance from my 5 daycare kids and me. I am happy for you.

[kittymom]

Wow, congrats! Just when you were feeling so down, it finally happened! Hurray!

[sugarandspice697]

Wow, congratulations!!

[dre25524]

I'm in too! We have been waiting 11 months...waiting to update our homestudy this month. We were in the top three a couple of months ago, but she changed her mind. Oh well! Just got a email from our agency saying that they needed more profiles so I am changing our profile up a little. Already sent 20! Anyway, we just wait! I was hoping that we would be matched this summer...best wishes to everyone!

[wes's mom]

We got an update from our agency this week as we do each month. This time our caseworker told us she is leaving and we are being turned over to our fourth caseworker in the last 15 months. I was so hoping we would be matched by summer, but it has been more frustration instead. On a happy note, my family just returned from Washington D.C. to celebrate the 4th. It was a great time for everyone.

[KarenInCa]

We never even assumed we would be adopting. I was happy to be the mom of one adult child from a previous relationship when we met. And DH was fine with it too. I have a 25 yr old son from a previous relationship. My (now) husband mentioned adoption-and mentioned China at the same time. In one day, two hour drive to my brother's house on Thanksgiving Day, we had decided we were going to adopt her and what her name will be and agreed on an age range. After asking him why China, he simply said "That's where my daughter is, she's just needing us to find her" Sure enough, she was exactly 1 month old on the day we decided to adopt a child from China. Paperwork took around 6 months before we could get it to China.
10 months after that, there she was, looking back at us on a referral picture.
DH (and God) planned our daughter from the beginning, and DH always said at the time of the wait for her....NO MORE. Well, as soon as we got on the plane home with her, he looked at me and said, "so when are we coming back for another, for her sister?"
That was in March 2006. Since then, we've put our paperwork in with our agency again, as of April 2007, and have waited 27 months to hear back from China. They said to expect the wait to be 18-24 months, but it appears it will be twice that long of a wait.
It's expected to be at least a 4 year wait total. It's difficult sometimes. I'm getting older, DD is getting older. But we don't mind the wait, really. DD#1 will be around 6 when we take her to China to pick up her sister. I waited 22 years to get my first girl...from when my son was born. Waiting 4 years for her sister is ok. So, we wait, because we know the feelings of receiving our first daughter, and how Gods hand plays out in the matter.
It's hard on her though. She's incorporated her baby sister into so much of her life. And when we go to stores she wants to buy things for her baby sister. She's never two thoughts away from her baby sister. I feel oddly, that she's already somehow bonded with a soul out there waiting for us. Sometimes she says she misses her sister, and I can completely understand. I missed her before we saw her picture too. It's probably something only waiting adopting parents and waiting siblings would truly understand.
Someday, we will see her picture. And we will all be happy beyond compare. Until then, we wait and enjoy each other. My baby has grown into a toddler, and now into a young 4 and a half year old girl. And I feel so blessed to have her in my life. I have to remind myself (not too often) that as we wait for her sister, she's here, she's my world, and she's too cute for words.

[brooklyn_girl]

JenC, congrats girl. That's amazing.

I too am having a crappy week so maybe my luck will turn soon

I think it's the family-focused holiday weekend that did it for me. Oh and our closest friends had a baby two weeks ago and used our top choice for a girl name! They honestly do not recall us telling them that was our favorite girl name!! You gotta laugh, or you'd cry!

Sending baby dust to all.....