[Stormster]

How can we find balance and give our kids independence and still not take our eyes off of them given all the freak accidents we hear about in the news?

I am starting to see potential danger in every corner and it's doing my head in

[mommamarci]

I know! I was cleaning out a closet yesterday and turned around and saw my fd starting to put a plastic bag on her head. I was literally 12 inches from her, so I grabbed it quickly and no harm was done, but everytime something like that happens, I get so shaken up! It is so hard to find that line of keeping them safe yet allowing them to live and learn...

[sheababy]

I hate to tell you but it only gets worse. I have seen my daughter put plastic bags on her head and yesterday she was able to open a large size bottle of Jack Daniels!

She puts chapstick lids in her mouth (they gave her this at school and now she tries to get mine) and sometimes puts so much food in her mouth I can't believe she can breath.

I guess I am going to have to get a sitter and put everything in a locking closet-and then just wait to see what she finds next!

[JustCourtney]

Stormster - I say this from a place of sincere love and compassion, as I have been a part of this forum for some time and have always enjoyed your posts and point of view.

That being said, I think you need to take a deep breath, and walk away from the computer, tv, and radio. Then put down the newspaper, book, or magazine you are reading. You need to relax. Bad things happen everyday. It is a given that some of them will happen to you. Most of them you never see coming. You need to focus on the here and now, and not waste a single second that you have with your beautiful little boy worrying about the "what ifs". You will lose your mind if you keep at it the way you have been!

[SupaModel]

Originally Posted by CourtneynCarl

Stormster - I say this from a place of sincere love and compassion, as I have been a part of this forum for some time and have always enjoyed your posts and point of view.

That being said, I think you need to take a deep breath, and walk away from the computer, tv, and radio. Then put down the newspaper, book, or magazine you are reading. You need to relax. Bad things happen everyday. It is a given that some of them will happen to you. Most of them you never see coming. You need to focus on the here and now, and not waste a single second that you have with your beautiful little boy worrying about the "what ifs". You will lose your mind if you keep at it the way you have been!

I need to follow this advice!! I'm a worry wart too

[Stormster]

Not sure i'm THAT bad but i do admit I have lately been letting E have more freedom and so when I read about Exodus Tyson it really scared me that a four year old can have something like that happen.

But honestly, I'm still living life and we had a GREAT day today, one of the best we've ever had so I'm not in a bad place right now! But honestly, thanks for your concern!

I do however think I need more adult contact!!!!! Which is why sometimes I spill my feelings out a lot here! Perhaps with more "drama" than is required!!!

[mommy3]

Honestly, along with trying to NOT go nuts about protectiveness but still being vigilant, we do need to stay in the same room as our children. I know some parents think I'm nuts (including my dh), I/we have a greater chance to catch something from happening IF we are there. No, we don't have to get obsessive, but I do a little bit. When my children tell me as they get older, "why does that mom let (her child) do that (something I wouldn't allow, like playing in the street, going for a walk alone at 4 years old, etc.)?", I actually tell my children, "seems like she doesn't love her child as much as I love you." A little crass, but I really don't understand sometimes. I realize I can only protect my children from so much, however, but at least I can do what I CAN do. The rest I have to hope about. . . susan

[Fran27]

I'm right there with you... I bought that toy phone today, and it has a cord to pull it behind you, and I just cut it, so they wouldn't get strangled in it... I'd just rather take more precautions so I don't have to worry too much about the 'what ifs'.

[sadiegirl]

Originally Posted by mommy3

I realize I can only protect my children from so much, however, but at least I can do what I CAN do. The rest I have to hope about. . . susan

Storm, I think this is great advice.

You could be in the same room with them and something bad could happen.

Freak accidents are just that and there was really no way of knowing that little girl would die in that manner.

So, my advice would be...be vigilant but not hovering.

And I agree with Courtney, just enjoy E...you have no idea what life will bring so why spend your life worrying? (And this comes from a total worrywart as well).

[Fe2002]

Right when you think you've passed the "danger" stage, here comes another! I was so happy when DD turned 1 because that meant no more SIDS worries. But by then the munchkin was walking and a whole new set of worries set in.

I normally sit in the bathroom or watch her from the glider at the door while she takes her bath - her bathroom is attached to her bedroom. I got up to grab her diaper that was in her closet that is also attached to her bedroom and by time I'd come back TEN SECONDS TOPS she was standing up and trying to get out! If I'd taken 2 secs more I'm positive she would have slipped and fell.

Lesson learned, I now get the diaper BEFORE she gets in the tub. Oh, and then there was the time she almost strangled herself while playing with the home phone ~sigh~ all while I was sitting there watching her pretend to have a conversation. What started as "oh look how cute and smart she is" turned into a nightmare right before my eyes!

Kids can get themselves in a world of trouble in a nano-second.

[ourdreamcametru]

I know, it seems you can't turn your head for a second. Last year my inlaws neighbor was babysitting their 2 year old grandson, the lady turned to watch something on the tv and when she turned back around the baby had turned the trash can over and gotten the bag over his head, he died and she has blamed herself ever since.

[abensonslaton]

Makes me feel better there are other people out there. My husband and I used to work inpatient psych unit. My husband wants found a dead patient that committed sucide from a simple way. Alas my kids can not have belts in there rooms, plastic hangers only, and my kids can not wear overalls maybe briefly but only for parties etc where they will be watch 24/7. I'm not that paranoid but close. My oldest is five and had ADHD impulisivity type and super smart and creative. Seriously he can make anything dangerous. Life is interesting at my house.
Ange

[amyfk]

HI,

I also read the newsstory about Mike Tyson's daughter and it upset me as well. Im not really sure what to do but I just try to do the best I can and watch her as much as I can. I guess sadly there are things out of our control. Although Tyson hasnt exactly been an angel I feel for him right now.
Amy K, NJ

[aclee]

I nanny for three kids 2 days a week. I think at least once a week I think to myself...I'm quitting, this house will kill Tyler. Because the kids are older, they have a MILLION little things that Tyler loves to stick in his mouth. He found 2 dimes and a nickel one day...all at separate times. His favourite is the tiny soccer ball from their mini fooseball table...that's fun. Sometimes he will also sample a handful of cat food. Daily I'm sure he will drown in the cats water bowl.

I do worry. I think EVERY mother does, and should. The fear isn't part of us for no reason. Mothers "intuition" hasn't been something referred to through the ages for no reason. Does that mean I think you can stop everything bad that will ever happen, nope, you can't. I just do the best I can, cause no matter what happens, or how Ty gets hurt...even if I wasn't even there...I know I'll feel guilty! It's our job.

Ty got his first bleeding cut the other day. I didn't even know it. I thought *I* was bleeding cause there was blood all over my legs (can you tell he follows me a lot)...DH fessed up that he thinks he did it when he was playing with the food processor in the kitchen. He had it for 2 seconds and then DH realized that he had taken out the chopping blade, but the slicing/shredding blade was still in it. DH tried to keep him safe, but he sliced his finger open anyway. It was awful. I was bawling my eyes out and screaming at DH...Ty watched Word Girl through most of the fiasco.

Now thanks to Fran, I'm off to cut the string off Ty's pull behind puppy.

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by aclee

Now thanks to Fran, I'm off to cut the string off Ty's pull behind puppy.

LOL! I never bought that puppy for that reason. I guess all those warnings about no cords longer than 3 inches when they were babies just traumatized me. Mostly with two it seems easier to play with the cord and strangle your brother/sister...

I worry about everything too, it's awful. I've baby proofed the living room as much as possible but it's still not 100% safe, so it's getting harder and harder to leave them there as they're starting to figure out how to do what they're not supposed to. I can't wait to move so I don't have to worry anymore about the cat door in the front door and the stair with a banister that makes it impossible to attach a baby gate... For now I mostly rely on big boxes they can't (yet) climb on, knowing that if they decide to push their high chairs and pull the superyard panels from the wall again, they should get stuck behind that box and the noise they will make to move it will alert me...

Needless to say, I hate leaving them alone in there now...