[oceanica]

I was surprised when I heard someone say that on adoption stories! (I am fascinated by that show.) I mean, what, are we picking out furniture here?!
The funny thing is they had one blond-haired blue-eyed girl from Russia already and when they went back for the second that is what they got. (The babies were VERY cute I have to say.)
What are your thoughts?

It actually made me think of that new technology that is supposed to help you decide which embryo to use based on what they will look like. There was a news story a while back on it.

[paigeturner]

Oceanica...are you trying to win a prize?

This type of special ordering always strikes me as strange. My first thought is always that bio-parents don't get to special order things like eye and hair color...But then I think, "well, I guess that's one of the upsides to adoption."

The furniture comment made me laugh.

[joskids]

Oceanica - I think I remember the adoption story you're talking about. The woman, if I remember, was married to a man who looked much younger than her. She was so obnoxious, I seriously worried about how that little Russian Ballerina (seems to me she was hoping for same), would grow up with such an ignorant mother.

[jalapeno]

I haven't seen that show at all. But that just makes me sad. I can't see how anyone who is that particular about how their children look could truly be ready to parent.

[oceanica]

why Paige, whatever would make you think that?!

[oceanica]

Joskids, I think that is the one!

[CaddoRose]

DH had a co-worker who adopted a baby and specified everything they wanted in the child down to eye color. I really think they didn't want people to know the child was adopted. That was 10 yrs ago or so and even then, before we became foster parents, I though it was odd. They paid over $50,000 to get the child they wanted, like they were ordering a lobster for dinner.

When DH and I became foster parents we didn't care a bit about ethnic group, skin color, gender, etc. We just wanted more kids. So here we are now adopting a foster child who is even whiter than we are( we're CC). Curly red hair, and blue eyes, (DH has blue eyes) and her skin is so pale. Funny thing is that we both have red heads in our family. Strangers won't ever think that she wasn't our bio child and I actually feel weird about that.

[DannieAS]

Originally Posted by oceanica

I was surprised when I heard someone say that on adoption stories! (I am fascinated by that show.) I mean, what, are we picking out furniture here?!
The funny thing is they had one blond-haired blue-eyed girl from Russia already and when they went back for the second that is what they got. (The babies were VERY cute I have to say.)
What are your thoughts?

It actually made me think of that new technology that is supposed to help you decide which embryo to use based on what they will look like. There was a news story a while back on it.

which story was this one...I'm fascinated by the shows they have online but don't remember that one.

[Chiefs_dip]

I also remember that episode and thought that comment was odd. But then again if you have the money and are willing to wait for the child you want b/c of their looks - then adoption is a good option.
At my adoption support meetings there are people coming out of infertility treatments and are still mourning the loss of not have a jointly conceived child that has a combination of their looks. I tell them how I read somewhere that people assume their bio-child will inherit the "best" features from both parents. Why couldn't the kid inherit the "worst" features from both parents? Maybe their bio kid would not be too good looking but the child they are going to adopt will be beautiful?
My dh and I joke about how our genes could never had made three kids as cute and adorable as ours. We are so glad we didn't pursue to adopt children with specific physical features. Instead we put it in Fate's hands, ended up adopting transracially and are amazed by what our "adoption genes" gave us.

As for new technology allowing people to choose physical features, hopefully it won't be anytime soon. Diversity is a good thing in my opinion.

[loveajax]

Kind of creepy. But are there any "new" Adoption Stories? I used to watch it all the time and realized like the same 10 were getting recycled over and over! Of course, I cried at 90 percent of them. (Even if I was watching it for the 11th time!).

[jgriese1]

Sounds kind of unusual but it is very common for people to specify race and gender and those are characteristics as well. I guess each person has their own reasons.

[jaenelle]

As a parent of a child that I know many adoptive parents would have turned down based on her race, it makes me sad that people are that picky.

BUT...

I totally support people's right to choose the child that is right for them. Maybe they have what they think is a good reason for wanting a particular type of child. So maybe being so choosy doesn't seem right to you, but to me, questioning people's motives without knowing their situation isn't right either.

[midnighttang]

I personally would never be that specific. We are open to whatever (or rather whoever) God chooses to send our way. My husband and I struggled with some choices about race but never gender or hair color and we only struggled because of our worry about the effects of transracial adoption on the child. That being said, I would never judge someone for specifying race or sex, but the hair and eye color seem extreme.
A lot of that voice over work is recorded after all the events had occured, so I wonder if they just said it that way because they already knew their daughter was blonde haired and blue eyed? I have never seen an agency allow you to be that specific, but I don't have a lot of experience with international.
Chiefs_dip- It's funny you mention people wanting bio children to have all the parents best qualities. We discussed this in an adoption class and my husband and I thought about it and when we were trying to conceive our conversations went more along the lines of "I hope he/she doesn't have my nose" or "I hope the baby is not as clumsy as me" We were wishing away our bad traits rather than hopng for the good ones

[KarenInCa]

As a child, I personally wanted long straight blonde hair. But of course that was because I had short curly brown hair.
I love my daughter's Chinese features and Im constantly looking at her. She's so beautiful. I guess Im biased toward non-blonde haired, non-blue eyed girls. :-)

[Amber76]

Originally Posted by KarenInCa

I love my daughter's Chinese features and Im constantly looking at her. She's so beautiful. I guess Im biased toward non-blonde haired, non-blue eyed girls. :-)

You sound like my husband He is hoping and praying that our next child will be Latino like Ben because he just can't imagine our children looking any different than our DS! (Funny since DH has reddish brown hair, green eyes, and freckles!) I am just praying that there is another child out there for us-or maybe four or five more children