[brooklyn_girl]

Hi,
We have a new potential bMom who sounds great in many ways, but has something in her family medical history that we need to consider carefully:
She has a sister diagnosed as bipolar and an uncle who was diagnosed with manic depression many years ago.

This is being presented to us because another couple our attorney represents has turned down the situation due to the potential health issue.

I'm wondering if anyone here has experience or advice on this condition, that might help us make the best decision about whether to proceed?

Thanks in advance.

[keekee1006]

Please do not turn down this placement just because of those two illnesses. I have a family history of bipolor disorder but do not have the illness. Those illnesses can be controlled with the right medication. I'll send you a pm with more detailed information.

[emtb79]

I have Bipolar disorder, so does my brother, and dad. So that being said it is genetic and can be passed. I am a functional adult and am waiting myself for a placement. I would accept the placement myself.

What kind of information would you like to know about? I can answer any question you throw at me.

[hopefulmommie2b]

I would not give the bipolar issue a second thought. It is very treatable, and if the person is compliant with meds, they are full functioning members of society. I see many of them in my work as a nurse. Personally, my mother and uncle are bipolar. (For the record, my mother has 2 kids, neither of us have the disorder, and my uncle has 3, only 1 is bipolar.) They are both great people, and you wouldn't know they had the diagnosis unless you knew them or went thru there medicine cabinet. When we were adopting (we have 2 kids 21 months apart, both adopted), we were more concerned with alcohol and certain drug exposure. DS, born to a bipolar first mom, was a preemie exposed to some prescription meds. He is almost 2 1/2, and he is perfect, somewhat ahead developmentally. DD is 8 months, also born to a bipolar first mom, was over 8 pounds and is also perfect (at least we think so).

Something to keep in mind, if one parent is diagnosed as bipolar, the child has a 15-20% chance of developing the condition.

This is a very treatable condition. It usually shows in the teen years. If you know what signs and symptoms to look for, recognize them, and get the child treatment, I don't see how bipolar is really different than other conditions a person could develop in life. I would (and did, twice) accept a child of a bipolar emom without batting an eye. It really all depends on your comfort level, and what you can live with in the future should your child develop bipolar later on. Good luck!

[tweetybirdus]

This would not deter me from accepting a placement. My take is that there is no guarantee on the health of a child in the future, not even if you gave birth to the child yourself.

[feelingreyt]

My son's bmom is bipolar. That was not an issue for us at all.
Do what you feel comfortable doing, but if that is all you have to worry about, then I say go for it!

[hopingforachild]

We accepted a situation with an emom that had a previous bipolar diagnosis, but uncertain if it was correct ---not currently being treated for it. Later learned that birth father is being treated for bipolar. Still, not too worried about the baby.

However, emom has now dropped off the face of the earth. She was going to be traveling to our state, but did not pick up the ticket and we are unable to reach her. The week before, she was excited to come to our state and meet us, etc.

We haven't been able to reach her for more than a week. This is different--we have talked 1-2x week up until this point. Not sure what to do now.

Just my 2 cents... it's not just about raising the baby.

[mrskt]

Anya's mom was diagnosed with bipolar - didn't phase us at all. Mental health diagnoses are subjective anyway, and if there is drug and/or alcohol use at all, that can cloud the picture as well.

[Cjmeck]

Personally speaking, both my father and my sister are bipolar. And now that they are on their meds, everything is fine. Honestly, bipolar disorder is over-diagnosed in the medical community. There are many, many causes, both environmental as well as genetic. Also, Dh's mom is probably bipolar. So, I guess my bio son has the genetic deck stacked against him but we sure wouldn't have chosen any other child in the world. Its manageable. You know the possibility is there so you will have the ability to react as needed. I wouldn't think twice about this.

[maryabr]

If that is the worst concern in terms of genetic health, I would not be very worried. As previous posters stated, bipolar disorder is quite treatable and influenced a lot by environment; it is the current "buzz" diagnosis and while many people do suffer from this disorder, it is also terribly over-diagnosed these days. Every decade is marked by a mental health disorder that gains popularily and becomes fortunately recognized, but unfortunately over-diagnosed. Look back at ADHD, munchausen's by proxy, multiple personality disorder, and depression to name but a few. I don't know anyone without at least 2 people somewhere in their family with mental health diagnoses. I'd be more concerned with something like schizophrenia, and even then there is an excellent chance it will not be passed down or triggered by the environment.

Mary (licensed psychotherapist)

[Lolley33]

I personally wouldn't turn down a situation based on any mental disorder. Mainly because I have some close friends & family with mental disorders and none of their children have suffered from any mental disorders themselves.

I always ask myself questions when I am confronted with a major decision... Example: If the emom were perfectly healthy, I accepted the placement & in 5 years notice my child is exhibiting some symptoms of a mental disorder would I disrupt? ...(I wouldn't)

You have to do what you feel is best for you & your family.

[mondk]

Hi...I have bipolar disorder and I wasn't diagnosed until my late 20's. I also have been diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder and have been stable on meds for that for years. My 12 y.o. has a bit of ADD but no symptoms whatsoever of bipolar...but then again, with my late diagnosis, it could still pop up in him....but it would not change how much I love him and if I had it to do all over, I still would have had him. It is because of him, Joshie, and my hubby, and ultimately myself, that I stay on my meds, see my psychiatrist as needed and my therapist. I haven't had a hospitalization since 2004 and when we started ttc, I went off my Depakote and have been very healthy.

Personally, I would never turn down a child because of mental illness (btw, no one in my family has bipolar, my dad has depression) so as you can see, it can pop up in families with absolutely no history.

Say you adopt a child with a perfect medical history and that child develops childhood diabetes...would you love him/her any less? Would you take it upon yourself to educate yourself about the illness so you can do all you can for your LO? I'd like to think everyone here would do the latter.

All I'm trying to say is that it is highly unlikely you will get a "perfectly healthy" child no matter what you do...things happen, diseases spread etc. There is no such thing as "perfect". If you are looking for "perfect" you shouldn't be adopting.

Blessings, Michelle

[EZ2Luv]

How did I ever miss this thread? Bipolar in the family history wwould not cause a great concern to me. Though alot is linked to genetics, there is also the nature/nurture debate and I honestly believe nurture has alot to do with things. MY bsibs have a plethora of issues from depression to addiction and back, yet I am not in any way have any of these things. I would say go for it, even if the child did end up with bipolar, it is easy enough controled with medication.

EZ

[asante]

I know is personal decison. Honestly, when they told us that bmom was diagnose as bipolar and then later the dr said she was not.. I already told the agency we did not care. I did my research and I became very comfortable with my decision. You gonna find most bmom have some issues. So do your research.. And I want to wish you all the best.

[Amber76]

One of my best friends in the world has bipolar disorder, and you would never, ever guess it because she takes good care of herself, takes her medication, and sees her doctor when she needs to. I personally would go for it! We were open to it when we were adopting. Good luck in your decision.