[oceanica]

I don't know how it was for you, but when we finalized I really felt I could exhale and relax. I was a little more stressed than I realized! And for us it took only 3 months for each baby.
Did finalization day mean a lot to you? And how long did it actually take? It seems like a lot of you have had it take much longer than 3 months.

[sbaglio]

We finalized after 10 months (should have been 6 months, but due to scheduling conflicts and court delays, it took longer). We finalized on National Adoption Day last year.

I can't say that the day made me feel any more certain about my position as our DD's parent emotionally - she had become my daughter in my head months before. From a legal standpoint, it was definitely a watershed moment. To see those words on the adoption decree was amazing. I can hardly recall what the judge said, to tell the truth. I watch the video with a puzzled look on my face!

[mnmomma]

We were a foster/adopt family and finalization day was a BIG DEAL! She was with us for 6 months before TPR, and adoption was finalized 8 months after that. It was a huge relief, surreal even, after that rollercoaster ride to know that she really is ours forever!

[SupaModel]

It took 7 months to finalize and it meant EVERYTHING to me. I was soooo stressed and freaking out that 'something' would happen before finalization and they would take away my baby. DH on the other hand was relaxed and felt like DS was ours and everything would be ok. I am worry wart to begin with so this alomst killed me.

[BeckC]

We won't finalize until 8 months. If the birthfather is unknown his rights won't be terminated until finalization. I'm a worrywort so I know it will mean a lot to me when everything is final.

[KLL08]

We finalized after 4months and 10 days...can you tell I was counting down the days with worry? They were unable to locate her birthfather so his rights were not terminated until that day after publications. So I just had an awful feeling until we got to court and he wasn't there. I pretty much teared up the entire hearing and it was the best feeling in the world when we took our adoption decree to vital records and saw our names listed as her parents. For me that is when it really hit that it was OK to relax about everything. She was definately our dd in our hearts from the day she entered the world, but I think it finally sunk in when I read her birth certificate.

[yehudit]

I know what you mean. We finalized after 3 months and though I didn't realize it was weighing on me, I felt much lighter and more relaxed afterward. Our situation was pretty clear-cut: bmom in rehab, bdad not known and rights terminated, but still I felt better after it was done.

Best,

[minibus]

Due to paperwork issues (our agency didn't tell us we needed to re-do our background checks in order to finalize), we finalized 8 months after the kids came home. It was a relief to have all the legal stuff done!

[loveajax]

Honestly, I never "thought" much about the meaning of finalization....I was trying like a banshee to get it done right at 6 mos (the earliest you can finalize in my state) because we so desperately needed the tax credit and I wanted it to happen before Dec. 31.

Well, when the finalization day finally came, we had tons of family and friends present at the courthouse. I was a blubbering mess (literally I cried thru the whole thing). The judge said something so beautiful, something like, "We are here today only to formalize something that you have known since you brought DD home -- you are a family." (sniff sniff) I hadn't realized what an absolute relief it was to finalize (and we also had signed TPRs, etc., so it wasn't like there was anything "bad" I expected to happen).

Congrats on having both A's and K's finalizations done!!

[devildogwife]

In the state we finalized, it's normally 6 months. We finalized right around 5 months because Cameron was SO sick. Our attorney petitioned the court to have the remaining time waived so that we could finalize and finally consent for all of his medical decisions. There were times were the cath lab nurses would have to call our attorney in the middle of the night to get her consent for an emergency cath. Although I knew my son would get the care he needed, I felt a little powerless not being able to consent for that. The first thing I ever medically consented for was his 3rd open heart surgery. It was a good feeling.

The cool thing was, we got to finalize in my son's PICU room on speaker phone with the judge, our attornies, the PICU SW's and us. It was 0930, we testified and then the judge waived the time and we finalized. It was VERY bittersweet though. This was the day before Cam needed a major open heart surgery. A couple hours later, Cameron's belly got huge, he spiked a 104* fever and his heart rate got super fast. Before we new it, he was diagnosed with NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis), his heart surgery was delayed, we were meeting with ID and a general surgeon. It was awful and very scary.

For me they day we finalized-while it was good-will also be the day I remember him coming down with NEC and getting even sicker. I don't have one without the other and it's not a great memory.

[jp4ga]

TPR was delayed because Bmom "changed her mind" after her time to do so. Its in quotes for a reason- no flaming none of you know the whole story. Finally when TPR occured I thought it would be a breeze to wait for finalization. I was such a wreck on that day was so nervous the bmom would show up at court. Thankfully she did not and things went well. It was 9 months after placement for finalization.

[oceanica]

Loveajax, thanks!! Those are on my list of "best days of my life"!

[Amber76]

Our finalization happened exactly 365 days after I first held my son. The reasons it took so long are ones that seem so outlandish that they had to be lies, but they actually happened! (For example, on the day that the TPR hearing for the birthparents was supposed to happen in Houston, Hurricane Ike came barreling on shore and all of the courts were closed. It took another three weeks to get reschedule, once the TPR and consent to adopt finally made it to our attorney in Indy, he was on a three week vacation, etc.) DS was 1 year and 5 days old at our finalization hearing. He was quite the charmer and had the clerk of the court eating out of the palm of his hand. The judge was also enchanted by him, and especially by how he was playing with our two teenage nephews who also went to court with us. The actual hearing was almost anticlimactic for me, but I certainly was relieved to FINALLY have it be official!

[Proud2BHisMom]

Originally Posted by Amber76

The actual hearing was almost anticlimactic for me, but I certainly was relieved to FINALLY have it be official!

We finalized 1 year, 7 months and 14 days after bringing our son home (I will spare everyone the details). Our family and close friends were with us, which made the hearing extra special. It was a great day. The courts really made it all about the families. We took lots of pictures and had lots of laughs. DS was charming and totally adorable. As one family's adoption was finalized and everyone clapped, he yelled out ""good job!". I thought it would be more of an emotional experience. I thought I'd be bawling; but I didn't. In the end, it really was kind of anti-climactic, like a formality. We were happy to reach that milestone; but ready to continue with the business of raising our son to be an awesome man.

[snaps]

We finalized our first in a little less than 4 months. Our second will be finalized in a few weeks at almost exactly 3 months. It means the end of a long road to me. The paperwork is done, money paid, hoops jumped through, etc. Just nice to relax as a "forever family."