[SupaModel]

I heard about these stories before but they are Oprah right now. These two boys within weeks of each other both commited suicide because they were being bullied and called gay.

My heart is breaking!! I wish there was some way I could go back in time and tell these boys that everything will be ok. It will get better. Even if you are gay it's ok. You will grow up and be happy. You will find someone to love you for you. There is just so much more than this.

I was bullied and I know this feeling. As a mom if a child bullies DS then I swear my claws will come out. I am NOT having it at all.

[Steph-Jason]

I heard about this today. It is very sad. Kids can be so cruel. You also hear the stories where the parents are even involved. It's heartbreaking. I was bullied as a child too for being short & it killed me. I'm with you- if someone does that to my child you will definatley see why people call me short & scrappy
Ugh- it's just awful.

[loveajax]

I saw this too, Supa (on another show). One of the boys is from my home state. I was crying so hard.

To be honest, I do blame the parents of bullies a lot. Even at preschool, my DD was a "biter" for a while. The teachers would always say that it wasn't mean at all, but because she would be provoked. DH and I were like, "who cares? it's unacceptable" and worked hard with her on it. I think some parents either know their kids are bullies and do nothing about it or perhaps even encourage it (and if they are encouraging anti-gay sentiment at home...eek, don't get me started)...

[thanksgivingmom]

My brother's two year old is kind of a bully (well, as much as you can be at two!) and he's so worried! He's working really hard on "fixing" the problems with him, but it's not easy....My brother's a VERY hands-on Dad (as is my SIL, I should give her some credit too! ) but it makes you see how some of these behaviors are apparent early on, and how you actually have to DO something about them!

And Ajax, absolutely about anti-WHATEVER negative sentiments being taught/reinforced in the home...

[paigeturner]

I believe that it is crucial that parents teach their children about bullying at a very young age. I know too many parents that assume that their little angels would never participate in this type of behavior. Too many people take the easy route and go along with the crowd. We taught our girls that it takes courage to go against friends and stand up for the underdog and even then they needed a butt kicking once in a while for “mean girl” behavior. This is just so sad to me.

[Steph-Jason]

Originally Posted by thanksgivingmom

My brother's two year old is kind of a bully (well, as much as you can be at two!) and he's so worried! He's working really hard on "fixing" the problems with him, but it's not easy....My brother's a VERY hands-on Dad (as is my SIL, I should give her some credit too! ) but it makes you see how some of these behaviors are apparent early on, and how you actually have to DO something about them!

And Ajax, absolutely about anti-WHATEVER negative sentiments being taught/reinforced in the home...

Exactly- you must do something once you see it. Kudos to your brother & SIL for recognizng this & trying to correct it.

Love- I second that on the Anti-whatever.... these kids are not learning this behavior themselves. Either they're learning this hatred at home or by oters that they're around. I think as a parent it's your responsiblity to get to the root of that & seek guidance.

[loveajax]

Paige, I hate to sound sappy but DH is EXACTLY how you describe...always fighting for the underdog, standing up for others, not tolerating any kind of meanness. (I was more of a pushover who went along with the crowd...I hope DD is more like her dad in this regard!). But you are so right...this kind of "training" has to start at an early age.

[Steph-Jason]

YOu know (Love & Paige) DH is just like that also. Very very kind & gets along with everyone (not that I'm not) but I've talked to his highschool friends & from what I can tell he was never one of the mean people in highschool. Even though he was with the "in" crowd when others were being made fun of he didn't participate in it & always made himself heard about how wrong it is. Even now- he's probably the least judgy person that I know. He was bullied as well so I know this has something to do with it.

I also think alot of parents these days assume that kids will be taught these types of things in school so they don't have to worry about it. It really is sad.

[DannieAS]

that is so sad....I remember when my cousin came out to me (my cousins and I are very close) when we were in college, he told me about middle school and how he was teased and taken to places and bullied horrifically.

I was appalled and sad. He has always been such a sweet kid (everyone loves him) I couldn't fathom how he had become the target of bullies.

I think our kids also need to be reinforced that their families love them and that they are worth so much!!!!!

My cousin and his husband (well they got married before Nov. 4 in CA so I think the marriage license is still valid) live in peace and are happy now....

but when you're 11, 12, 13...teenagers this is just cruel.

[SupaModel]

DH is a total jock but also very smart guy. He too is always fighting for the underdog. I think it comes from him going to Ivy League school with all these trust fund kids who got everything and are total jerks and he had to work hard and pay for it himself. He was never bullied but he wouldn't dare let it happen to DS or anyone. If DS tried to do it to someone trust me my husband would let him have it! I wouldn't stand for it either. I was seriously in tears watching these stories

[jp4ga]

I did not watch Oprah today, but a boy around 9 killed himself a few weeks ago here in GA because the other kids in school were calling him a virgin because he was from the virgin islands.

[crick]

Not only do parents of the bully need to get it together and do what's necessary, but so do the parents of the one being bullied.

Too often we tell our kids "well, just ignore him" or "boys will be boys", "don't give someone that power over you" etc. and at times fail to realize there is a much bigger problem going on. So it continues and escalates and by then the kid isn't talking as much to the parent who now assumes all is okay.

Another thing is being very pro active in getting the school to realize it's not just "one of those things" and get them to take it seriously. DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!

The "zero tolerance policy" is such a joke in so many schools and it's really up to parents to make the schools enforce it.

We dealt with this for way too long and I didn't realize all the things I should and could be doing to get it resolved much earlier. I mistakenly thought the school was on top of it. Things finally ended with a trip to the sheriff's office. Getting a visit from the police made both the school and the boy's parents wake up.

Kids committing suicide at such young ages...WHEN are people going to wake up?????? It truly infuriates me.

[thanksgivingmom]

Crick, you bring up a VERY good point!

I remember being chased a lot in elementary - you know, the teasing kind of tag, but I didn't want to play! Teachers would always say, "Well, if you wouldn't run they couldn't chase you!"

UH, SO NOT THE POINT TEACH!

.....not to mention that fear (sometimes VERY REAL fear) of what is waiting you when they DO catch up. Sometimes it's "ha ha gotcha!" and sometimes it's a knuckle sandwich.

The one's being chased/bullied shouldn't be the ones that have to learn the lesson here. I can so clearly recall being made to feel like I was the naughty one when being teased......

[Steph-Jason]

YOu know Crick- it also goes back to "sticks & stones but words can't hurt" thing. Well- yes words can hurt. I agree- too much it seems like a reaction is well that's just how kids are. But then when we have kids that are bullied so much that they kill themselves or go into a school & open fire it's shocking. Well- if things were handled in the beginning it may not have happened. It just breaks my heart- they're kids. They shouldn't be having to deal with these things.

I remember a kid in my 9th grade class being stripped naked & tied like a pig to our flag pole by the senior boys. The poor guy was mortiied- so not funny. Then the other kid (kind of a computer kid) was teased so much by the jocks that they jumped him & duck tapped his rear end cheeks together- they got that idea from a movie... it's just so upsetting. I know I'm years off but I'm honestly scared for when DD goes to school. I don't want her to be bullied or be a bully. But it worries me- it's this bad now... its gotten worse since the 12 years I was in highschool. So how bad is it going to be when she's in school?!?!

[mellaf]

This story really got to me because Sparkle was actually in the same school district as the 11 year old who committed suicide. This story has rocked the area--the city where it happened is not doing enough in my opinion.

The school district (and city) are horrible in general. As soon as Sparkle was moved to our home, we immediately changed her to our local school, because we were told about gang activity IN HER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

I was a victim of bullying as a kid, beginning all the way back in early elementary. Middle school was the worst for me and I can't say I didn't have the same thoughts as this poor kid must have had when all of the teachers/staff just sat around doing nothing.

My hometown had 3 suicides in the class below mine (before any of them got to High School), due to bullying. I remember when they told us that one of the boys had committed suicide, his supposed classmates were saying how they loved him, he was a good kid, etc. to the media and were actually the ones who bullied him, saying he was a freak (to his face on a regular basis), made fun of him constantly and I remember times when they'd physically push him around.

I got scared when Sparkle befriended a girl who loved to pick on people and did have a reputation as a bully. Luckily, she moved shortly after Sparkle came to us and she confided in me that she didn't like how this girl bullied others. I'm hyper-sensitive to how words and actions can affect others, so I spend a lot of time trying to make Sparkle understands how bad bullying can be.