[Amysue1112]

Hello!
I was super active on the Russian board back whenwe adopted our precious Hannah in 2006, so I decided to come back here for some advice.
OUr Hannah has beenW home almost 3 yrs now..healthy, happy and amazing little person. In my heart I would LOVE to go back to Russia..but dh says NO WAY and I have had a lot cocerns about traveling, leaving Hannah for weeks at a time, $ issues etc. So we had sort of put the idea on the back burner until we had our last post-placement last week.
We had a new SW since our agency closed, and she was awesome! She adopted internationally too and we had a lot in common. She started to tell me about domestic adoption and I started to feel that this may be the way to our next child.
We live in FL, but she gave us a great recommendation of a facilitator in Georgia. I sent them a request for more info...but until then..could anyone give me some advice? Pros/cons...adoption laws in Fl...if your referral (do you guys call them referrals in DA?) is from another state, I suppose you adopt through the laws where the child lives? Any info would be AWESOME..thanks!

[srusse24]

You will have to have a homestudy done by a social worker in your state. If there are any extra requirements from the state you are adopting from you will have to meet those as well. For example, we are in KY, but adopting from OH. Our law does not require FBI fingerprinting, but OH does, so we must submit these.

Also, one thing I do know about Florida is that they have little restrictions on bmom expenses, which means you could be asked to pay a large fee for these.

Generally the process for a domestic adoption is this:
1. You will choose an agency/facilitator and submit an application.
2. Complete a homestudy.
3. Prepare a profile book, which is kind of a scrapbook of your family, hobbies, etc. and a letter to an expectant mom.
4. Your profile will be viewed by emom's considering adoption until your family is "chosen".

Hope that helps! Good luck!

[Amysue1112]

Thanks! THis is very helpful...

We were told by the social worker that is doing our final post-placement for Hannah that she can do our home study..so that is handled.
She is suggesting we were with a facilitator in GA..I know they work with many agencies. She told us that they notify us after relinquishment..is that typical? (that is ok with us..just curious). What about birth-mother's rights? Our biggest concern was that the birthmother would change her mind after placement. OUr SW said that if the birthmother relinquishes 48h after birth, is it basically final. Is tha true? I am scared to death of this! Our daughter was abandoned after birth in Russia and her birthmom gave false info so we have not to deal with this issue.

[Amysue1112]

Srusse..
Also, I see it is months between your child's birth and your adoption..did they just come to you a little older or did you have them with you but just not having the adoption finalized?
Also not familiar with this..since in Russia when we had Hannah in our care the adoption was complete.
Are there risks with this delay?

[Nevada Jen]

Your socia worker is probably over simplifying it substantially but I can understand why she would at this point n your journey. The answers to a lot of the questions you are asking depends on what state the child comes from. You will need to follow the laws of the state you live in and the laws of the state where the child in born. The time at a bmom has to wait before signing varies by state. It also varies by state whether it is revocable and under what conditions. Again, this is almost something you cannot know until you are matched with a pbmom (that would be a woman who is considering relinquishing but has not yet given birth) or a baby born situation. Fees vary widely amoung agencies and attorneys as do the terms of when you could get your money back (sometimes you pay at match, sometimes you pay when you sign up with agency or facilitator).

Basically, my advice would be to start your homestdy (which is a pretty easy process in Florida) and read on here and other adoption websites about domestic adoption during that process until you get a handle on the various options available to you before committing to anything other than a homestudy.

[srusse24]

We took both of our boys home from the hospital. TPR (termination of parental rights) we both signed within a few days of birth. This relinquished the bparents' rights to the child. Our "adoption day" is the day we finalized their adoptions, which means we were officially named thier parents.

In most domestic situations (at least dealing with our agency), adoptive parents are chosen either prior to the birth or while the bmom and baby are still in the hospital. This does pose a risk and many aparents on this forum have experience a failed adoption (including myself). It is difficult, but in the big picture you realize that when the situation is right for your family, all will work out. It is all worth it... as you know I'm sure.

[Amysue1112]

Thanks Jen!
I figured the SW was oversimplifying...I remembe how "easy" our Russian adoption was supposed to be..and THAT was a nightmare with a beautiful result!

The responses have given us some things to think about..

Could you PM other sites that are good resources?

[DPline]

No information help, but I had to tell you how excited I am for you that you are looking into adopting again!

I had just been thinking about you guys the other day and wondering how you were doing.

Email or call me when you get a chance so we can catch up!

[BrandyHagz]

Domestic differs from international in a number of ways.

1. In domestic, typically the birth parents are involved, if even on a basic level, in the process of choosing parents for their child.

2. Each state has its own set of rules and guidelines potential adoptive parents must follow, including what is required for the homestudy, what expenses can be paid, the time period between birth and the time when a parent can sign the papers to terminate their rights as well as the requirement of post placement visits, if required.

3. Situational expenses is the biggest one - while most agencies are considered 'non-profit' they don't typically operate as charity and expect potential adoptive parents to pick up expenses for parents considering adoption. This can mean, the amount you will pay can vary from several thousand dollars to several tens of thousands of dollars.

In domestic adoption - it is not unheard of to get a 'baby born' situation - however, it is more common for expectant parents to be involved in the selection process for their unborn child.

As far as the period after the birth - it typically works like this:

Baby is born and once the legal time limit has been reached in which a mother and father can terminate their parental rights, they can choose to do so. Keep in mind, however, that the time limit is the minimum time frame in which a potential birth parent can sign - they can choose to wait longer, if they choose.

Once the papers are signed - there can be a 'revocation period' involved - it can be as little as none to as much as six months in which a birth parent can revoke their consent to the adoption and start the reclamation process.

Depending on how your agency works - you will either take baby home during this period or the baby can go into a 'cradle care' situation - where it will stay until the legal stuff is complete.

Once baby is home with you - you will then start the legal process to finalize the adoption. The process can be as simple or complicated - depending on the state in which you are finalizing.

Basically - you will wont to work with a professional who is very versed in the aspects of adoption law in the states involved - and remember, a facilitator in GA doesn't mean the baby will be born in GA...so consider each situation carefully by weighing the laws in the state in which the baby will be born.

If you do decide to use a facilitator - you will want to make sure you work with an attorney who can represent your best interest in the situation - keeping in mind that facilitators in the US act similarly to facilitators in Russia, in that they are the middle man between you and the child - but has little to do with the process/legal side of things.

You might consider getting feedback on your potential professional - like adopting from Russia - using a reputable and ethical practitioner can make or break your process.

Good luck!

[Amysue1112]

Excellent Brandy! Thanks so much..this clears things up a lot..or muddy's the water

No really, this is important stuff. It is amazing how many choices/possibilities/unknowns there can be with domestic adoption.

We are also debating how an open/semi-open adoption will affect Hannah..since she was abandoned at birth and Russia has no accurate record of her birthmother/family. hmmm...lots to think about...

It is so great to see you and Debbie around...familiar "faces" are always comforting!

Debbie..i will PM you with my info..or you send me yours..I would LOVE to catch up!

[yehudit]

Amy,
We live in GA and adopted from FL. We worked with a local facilitator -- I wonder if it's the same person you were referred to?

Before we started, we heard how tough domestic adoption was, but it turned out to be easy. For us, at least. The facilitator was a huge factor in this, as well as our being open racially. I've learned that most of what people think they know about domestic adoption is simply false or antiquated.

Good luck with everything,

[Amysue1112]

Hi to Mom of Thing 1 and 2..that is too cute!
Thanks for sharing your experience! It is nice to hear positive stories. I know DA is likely no cake walk, but like I told dh last night, at least if you are heart-broken, you are home with family and friends..after 4 referrals, one lost the morning we were to meet her in Russia, I think we are pretty prepared for the "possibilities". But the open adoption situation may be a sticking point for us, especially b/c we have to consider our daughter Hannah, who was abandoned at birth and has no possibility of connect with her birthmother/family. We are more open to a semi-open adoption..we will just have to see.
I will PM you..

[minibus]

Amysue - You have gotten a lot of great advice. I think that if you are looking for a semi-open adoption at most, then that is something you can specify with your worker/facilitator and/or in your profile book. One thing that hasn't been mentioned yet that we've run into with the situations we looked at (and the situation with our children) is whether or not the efather/birthfather is available/willing to sign TPR. Ours was not available. They had to post legal notices for him and eventually did TPR through a court process. This took 4 months for us, even after bmom had signed TPR the day we met the kids.

[Casey677]

Hi Amy! We also live in FL and have done domestic adoption twice. I'd be happy to help and answer any specific questions that you may have. We used a facilitator in CA the first time and an agency in FL the second time around. I will say that it was sooo nice the second time to not have to deal with ICPC (can be a long process where you are in the state the baby was born in while waiting to return to your home state).

I will also say that FL doesn't have any restrictions on how much you can pay a expectant parent for expenses and you really have to watch out and make sure that you are comfortable with them. A friend of mine was matched and afterwards, had a whole bunch of additional financial requests that her agency strongly suggested she pay or risk losing the match. She paid them & all worked out well, but she wasn't happy about it. I would have walked away. The requests included a bunk bed for her parented children (ok), a used car (so not ok to me), and then to pay for her wedding reception (NO way! I could barely pay for mine, lol!) But we didn't have any of those kind of things come up! So don't stress too badly

[Amysue1112]

Hi Casey! Tried to send you a PM but your box is full...hopefully I edited this enough to meet AF rules...
Thanks so much for your post..where do you live? We live in St. Petersburg..what agency did you use? How much $ did you spend? I just spoke to the facilitator in GAand they had a lot of good info and if we use a facilitator, we will likely use them..but I am still not sold on the absolute need to use a facilitator, especially when we live in FL and this is a state they refer clients to.) Just trying to figure out what to do..
I would LOVE to hear more about your adoption.
Thanks soo much!
Amy