[Suziebearhugs]

We've had our DS since he was 2months old and he's now 4 1/2. We adopted him through fostercare and we've had an open relationship with his paternal bgrandma the entire time.

She recently passed away and we attended her funeral where we found out that she and the birthfathers new wife had been lying to us about the birthfather. They kept saying how well he was doing and how he had changed his life around and that he was working and that this new girl in his life that he recently married was so good for him.

Come to find out right before the funeral he's been up to his old criminal history (long history)and has been in jail again for the last 10 months. The new wife finally told the truth when we showed up for the funeral and he was about to pull up with in a police car with a police escort in hand cuffs.

So anyways, I got over that and now I get a phone call from a birth relative saying that She has been really worried about something and has been praying wether or not she should tell us and how...

Appearantly during and after the funeral she overheard some family members talking about how they had heard that the birthfather and his wife where planning on getting his son back after he got out of jail (which should be in about 4 months).

She said that she knew he couldn't legally go and get him back but that she knew him and what he was capable of and wanted us to know what she had heard.

So now we are left with more to think and worry about I'm hoping they are just rumors that his family members made up. But we'll never know and we'll just have to keep our eyes open.

[Hadley2]

That sounds really disturbing and frightening. I would be very upset if I were you.

I think you need to do more than keep your eyes open. I think you need to report this to your local police dept. so that it is documented. You may be wanting to get a restraining order later and every bit of history helps. While the police may not actually do anything about it now, especially since it is hearsay, they may question family members or alert the prison/jail that a threat has been reported. That would at least put everyone on notice that someone is paying attention. Even if they don't do that, be sure they take your statement.

Our local police take this kind of thing very seriously, especially in the case of someone with a violent history.

You also need to double-remind the school and any other place your son goes without you that he is only to be picked up by you or other designated people. Set up a password if you haven't already for anyone not you that you've designated. Better still, be sure he never goes with anyone except you unless they have a note in writing from you. If you have a picture of the birthfather that you can give to them and your local police dept., so much the better.

I really hope all these suggested precautions will turn out to be unnecessary, but please do everything you can to stay safe.

[loveajax]

I'm sorry, suzie...that would scare the bejeesus out of me. Hadley gave you great practical advice...does he know your names/where you live?

I hope it was just jibber jabber....

[EZ2Luv]

If he is currently incarcerated you should document this either with your state or local police because it could be seen as a conspiricy or what is called threats to commit a crime. I know here in MA they take that kind of stuff very serious.
Jibber jabber or not I would want someone to know.

EZ

[Suziebearhugs]

Yes, he knows our names, address and phone number.

I think I'll call the bfamily member back who told me and get exact details that she heard and the names and phone numbers of those she heard talking about what they heard and then call them and see if they'll tell me exactly what they heard and from whom.

I don't want to seem all paranoid and give him or them that power over us.

I feel fairly certian that it was just relatives talking, wondering about him and making up stories of what they feel he's capable of doing.

But I honestly don't think he has the drive and desire to do it. But you can never tell. He's not someone I could ever trust or really undeerstand given his history.

[ourdreamcametru]

Paranoid does not even begin to touch how I would feel if I had heard this about Castle's birthfamily! I wouldn't even take another breath before calling the police and making sure they know this was what you heard, even if it might just be a rumor. You just can't be too careful!

[Suziebearhugs]

I called her back and got some more information. It was her nieces she overheard talking and she called them to find out more. Apparently they were out drinking one night with the birthfathers new wife and they were having a discussion about his kids and she was saying "when he gets out of jail he's going to get his kids back" or "he's going to try to get his kids back" she couldn't remember the exact words.

She also told me the details of what landed him back in prison (and it's no small thing like his wife was trying to tell me of violating his probation). She also failed to tell me that she was involved and served 78 days in jail until he came foreward and took all responsibility for it. I also found out that they got married when they BOTH were in jail. Plus, she told me that he'd be getting out in 4 months. Well, he's only coming up for parole in 4 months but because of the magnitude of this recent crime and all his past history he's not likely to be getting out soon. The 3 strikes law will likely bite him in the butt.

So while I'm not stupid enough to trust either of them I'm not worried about it at the moment. I'll keep an eye on him and watch for when he's getting out and then decide at that time if a restraining order is necessary. Unless I hear anything else from his birthfamily between then and now. But I think it was just drunk jibber jaber and likely just wishful thinking on their part.

[loveajax]

I'm glad you learned more and feel more at ease, Suzie.

[missywojo]

Susie, that update sounds a lot better!! They were probably just talking--not even knowing they had no legal rights.

[Suziebearhugs]

I just looked him up online and it says that he is up for parol 6/19 but he has 4 years left on his sentence. I really doubt he'll be getting out anytime soon.