[elledarcy]

Is anyone else freaked out by the movie/book, "Coraline"? From an adoptive mom’s point of view, I just don’t know if I can watch it. Maybe it’s different for us because our children already have a “real mother” and an “other mother.” I keep wondering which one am I supposed to be? If I’m the “real mother,” then I feel panicked about protecting my daughter from her “other mother!” And if I’m the “other mother”… well I don’t even want to think about that!

I think the story does play into the fantasy that both adopted and biological children have of a “better” mother and father out there. Maybe it is harmless and I am overreacting, but I was just wondering if any other adoptive moms had this reaction.

PS - You can see the trailer here if you're not familiar with the movie's premise:

Coraline Movie- Enter The World Of Henry Selick's Coraline Movie

[angelkisses0102]

I'm not at all bothered by it as I think this is not adoption related but more typical kid thinking another parent would be better...even though my kids are adopted...I don't know...maybe I'm wrong but at least for us, I know it won't be an issue.

Any parent will immediately recognize that this "other mother" and "other father" are too good to be true (they're prettier and more talented, and they obviously don't work for a living), but Coraline is entranced by the dazzling, super-saturated night-world, with its garden of snapping dragons, a circus of performing mice and all the treats she can eat. In her dreams, the grass isn't just greener -- it's emerald.

I am actually excited that DD (7) wants to see this as I LOVE this genre of movie.

[Bunnygirl]

Yes, I'm definately feeling a little sensitive about the plot, too! I know that it's a common one in the media & I shouldn't take it personally, but it still makes me very uncomfortable.

[binkybear]

I wouldn't take it to be about adoption. If that's where your head is (like most of ours) I can see thinking that right off though.
Without living adoption I'd just say this is a typical fairytale/lala land theme like Alice in Wonderland. Kids (even adults) like the idea of a dresser (Narnia) or mirror or portal that takes them to what they think is "perfect" or an adventure.

[alwaysmissingu7590]

I keep wondering which one am I supposed to be? If I’m the “real mother,” then I feel panicked about protecting my daughter from her “other mother!” And if I’m the “other mother”… well I don’t even want to think about that!

that is quite insensitive and hurtful for those of us that you think don't belong here ... but are looking for advice....

You OBVIOUSLY don't take that into account before you post.....

[binkybear]

Originally Posted by alwaysmissingu7590

I keep wondering which one am I supposed to be? If I’m the “real mother,” then I feel panicked about protecting my daughter from her “other mother!” And if I’m the “other mother”… well I don’t even want to think about that!

that is quite insensitive and hurtful for those of us that you think don't belong here ... but are looking for advice....

You OBVIOUSLY don't take that into account before you post.....

Um, I don't want to speak for the OP, but did you watch the trailer for the movie. I think OP was speaking to that alone and not memebers the of adoption triad in specifics. JMO, but check out the trailer...I think you'll see where she was coming from. Neither scenario is good from a parental standpoint...it's a fairytale. Most parents flat out stink or die in those!!

[nikkianni]

I don't see this movie as adoption-related at all so it doesn't bother me. It seems to be along the same lines as Alice in Wonderland or The Wizard of Oz. You know, the plot that goes: The grass is always greener until you're on the other side of the fence, then you need to use your Ruby Slippers/Looking Glass, etc. to get the heck back across the fence. Just in a creepy Tim Burton way.
That said, I am the least sensitive person I know when it comes to adoption issues, so I could be missing the point entirely.

[stilldeciding]

I am not worried at all about the movie. I was adopted on one side growing up,I had a bio mom and adoptive Dad so I can say the real parents you have our the ones who RAISE YOU and as you can see one of my parents has my blood and the other doesn't. To me, they are my parents, both of them. If we end up adopting, as an adoptee myself and a hopeful adoptive parent..I know my child will have issues, just as I had when I found out..I had to figure out WHO I was but in the end I came full circle about my identity. But never did I feel as if my Dad was not my Dad...this was the man who was there with me every step of the way my whole life. He loved me and I loved him. Maybe that is why if I see movies that don't portray foster or adopt. parents well I don't get upset by it. Because like all groups of people, there are good and bad in everyone. I think we just get sensitive on this subject because it scares us to think our kids won't think of us as THEIR parents or love us anymore. But the fact is...that our kids are capable of loving many people. I saw how hard it was for my Dad when I found out...even though we had a long history and a wonderful relationship.. he got worried,that I would not think of him as MY Dad anymore. I know for me, I have a 12 and 10 year old bio kids and if the day comes we are placed with a child, that child will become part of Us and even if she/he has concerns about their bio parents, that will be ok. Cause in the end kids see the parents who raised them as their parents but even biological parents who the child may meet someday, they will be capable of loving them too. And their won't be the concern of labels or who is who to that child, just labels of love that this child received from all the people who gave birth, raised and loved him or her.

[MamaS]

Nikkianni is right. This book was written as a horror novella for children. It is like Alice In Wonderland, Wizard of Oz or Hansel and Gretel. Basically, evil can look good from the outside, but when you get inside, there's no place like home.
It isn't pro-adoption, anti-adoption, pro-cat, anti-well, or anything.
Sometimes a movie is just a movie. Eat popcorn and chill!

[elledarcy]

Originally Posted by alwaysmissingu7590

that is quite insensitive and hurtful for those of us that you think don't belong here ... but are looking for advice....

You OBVIOUSLY don't take that into account before you post.....

I’m sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. Like binkybear said, I was referring to the language from the movie.

I don't think it is a commentary on adoption, but I was just wondering if anyone else was feeling the same way about the two mothers and the fantasy of the "better" parent. I guess I am imagining things. Never mind.

[Daisy1339]

Why are you apologizing? People take things out of context on here all the time! LOL!

Yours truly,
The "Other" button-eyed mother! heh heh heh.............

[lovemy2boys]

Originally Posted by MamaS

Sometimes a movie is just a movie. Eat popcorn and chill!

Ever consider putting this on a t-shirt??

ETA: That was not aimed towards anyone on this thread, as I am INSANELY guilty of reading too far into movies/story lines/book plots/etc...

[nikkianni]

FYI on the movie.

DH's sister came for a weekend visit from college and she and DH went to see this movie Saturday night. He always lets her pick the movies, which resulted in him seeing 27 Dressed before me. But I digress.
I guess it was SO bad that she actually apologized for choosing it. He said the 3D effects were really cool but other than that it was just strange and disturbing. Definitely not a kid movie apparently.

[lovemy2boys]

Thanks for the heads up, Nikkii...

My kids saw the commercial and thought it was scary (my brave, tough 5 and 7 year old boys - haha).

And Lol about 27 dresses...

[Leigh131313]

We all went to it yesterday. It wasn't my favorite movie - but it is Tim Burton, it was exactly what I expected. DS liked it - he's 4 but he isn't squeamish about scary movies. I just really wanted to see all of the handmade stuff. I saw some clips on the knitting (she uses what looks like pins to knit) and I was fascinated by the talent and imagination that went into the movie.

oh, and i just LOVE anything in 3D