[lizzie0415]

My DH and I were matched a week ago. We've had a call with the birthparents, and felt really good after the call. The birthmom had a doc appt. on Friday and told us she'd call us that night.

She hasn't called yet. I think I'm being overly sensitive and worrying for no reason, but just wonder how other people have dealt with the nerves.
Thanks

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by lizzie0415

My DH and I were matched a week ago. We've had a call with the birthparents, and felt really good after the call. The birthmom had a doc appt. on Friday and told us she'd call us that night.

She hasn't called yet. I think I'm being overly sensitive and worrying for no reason, but just wonder how other people have dealt with the nerves.
Thanks

It could be anything. The expectant mom could have fallen asleep after the appointment, she could have lost her phone (both of which happend with my son's birth mom ), maybe she's taking some time to think over things. Pregnancy is really tiring. Hang in there.

I dealt with my nerves by posting here a lot, working out, and knowing that if she was meant to place her son with me, she would.

[JustCourtney]

The time between being matched and TPR is the worst! A rollercoaster ride that will have you feeling great one second, and doubting it all the next!

The 'what ifs" will make you crazy if you let them! My best advise is to just try and keep busy and attempt to think about ANYTHING else for at least 25 minutes each day! This is a great place to go, because we have all either been in your shoes, or hope to be - and are a lot more understanding then people IRL!

I would also suggest reaching out to your community to find other adoptive families that can be a support network for you now, and when you get home. Have you tried here on the local boards? Maybe through your agency? I was lucky enough to find a friend through here that lives a few blocks away, and having her ear to listen and wise words of advice after adopting twice has been invaluable!

Best of luck

[mommy3]

Sending you support while you wait. It's SO hard to be the one waiting and you can only do SO much. When we were waiting for our dd, we'd make an agreement with our dd's birthmother for her to call at a certain time or day and if she'd be late, I'd fret and practically get sick with worry. I'd later find that she had her appt. moved (and didn't want to "bother me", eek) or something would have come up that postponed her call. It'd make sense later, but in the moment I'd go crazy. Not having control over things can be hard and just about drive you batty, but try to stay focused on what you CAN do. I learned that the greatest lessons of adoption were that I was being guided but that I was not in charge. I had to relearn these almost every day. Yes, sometimes things do fall apart but that isn't in your control totally either. Try to not watch the clock and stay busy with other things if you can. May your time pass swiftly and may this expectant mom call! susan

[lizzie0415]

Thanks everyone.

Another question. Do you think it's ok to call her. We have her phone number, but she said she would call us. I don't want to bother her.

[JustCourtney]

Are you working with an agency? If so, she was probably supposed to call them after her appointment, too. Maybe you could check in with them to see if they have heard from her? They might be able to tell you if there are any hiccups, or if she needs some space. Since it is the weekend, she could be busy with friends or family, or just resting in anticipation of going back to work Monday. We all need a break sometimes, and she has a lot going on physically as well as mentally.

Otherwise, if you have not heard from her by Monday, I think a quick call would be okay. Just to check in and see how her weekend went, etc - let her know you are interested in her, not just her appointment/the baby. Does that make sense?

[Gwen72]

I think it would be OK to call her. It shows you are concerned enough to call and check on her. I'm sure there's a logical reason why she hasn't called you yet. Just hang in there!