[mattm]

My wife and I are looking into a domestic adoption through a local (OH) private agency. She is in perfect health, but I have Epilepsy. It is controlled by medication, but we are still concerned about this being a problem. Other than this I am in very good health and live a normal life. I don't drive, but I have a Bachelors Degree (Engineering) and am working on my MBA through a local University. In addition, we have a very strong support structure (many of my family members and friends are nearby).

I have read that a lot of weight is put on the Doctor's statement, but am not sure how much of an effect it really will have.

I am also a little unsure of the questions (nature, invasiveness) that will be asked in the homestudy.

We have a meeting next week with the agency, and are looking forward to adopting and starting our family, but I am concerned that my health might be a roadblock.

Any info/experiences that you can share would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Matt

[jules17]

I would be very surprised if this was an issue. Our homestudies and agencies (3 so far) just wanted our Dr. letter to say we were free from contagious disease and had a normal life expectancy.

And if you need to further explain, you will be able to.

I really wouldn't worry and congratulations on your journey!!

[DPline]

I agree with Jules. I honestly don't think it will be an issue. My experience is with international adoption, but even with an autoimmune disease, I no problem getting homestudy and USCIS approval. Be honest and upfront with your homestudy agency and you will be fine.

Good luck!

[devildogwife]

I agree with what everyone else says. Be upfront and you shouldn't have a problem. Good luck!

[adoptionauthor]

A home study is always a bit invasive but I agree with the others and I think you'll be fine. Be honest and upfront and they shouldn't have any issue. You're obviously functioning just fine. Good luck with your home study and your adoption!

[brooklyn_girl]

I understand your concern, Matt. I have a rare bone marrow disorder but was able to have my specialist sign a carefully worded letter that says my treatment has been successful and I'm perfectly capable of parenting, etc. - which is not true, after all. If you want specific wording I'm happy to dig it up and send to you in a private message. Don't worry, I'm sure you will be fine.

[brooklyn_girl]

Sorry, typo: I meant to type "which is not UN-true!" What I mean is you don't have to lie. If you are feeling well and things are under control, you should be OK.

[mattm]

Thank you everyone for sharing your advice and support. It really does help to calm my nerves about the whole process. We have a meeting next week, and then (hopefully) classes after that, so we will know a lot more pretty soon. I will try to keep you in the loop as things progress.

Thanks again,

Matt

[yehudit]

hello,
I also have a chronic disease -- Crohn's disease -- which has required multiple hospitalizations in the past. Hence our decision to adopt and not try for #2 the old-fashioned way. I was very upfront about it with the SW and she said I should just get a letter from my specialist saying that it's under control and should not affect my ability to parent.

We know a family were the mom had leukemia but is in remission and I think they did the same thing with no problems.

Good luck,

[mattm]

Met with my Doc in Detroit on Monday. Talked briefly about Adoption, and he said he would support us. He said that I would make a good parent, but qualified it by saying that I can't be left alone with the child at ANY time. I am sure that this is a CYA for him, but (anyone who knows me knows) I am not a danger to myself or others, so this is kind of discouraging. We do have a Day Care provider in mind, and I have an awesome family support structure, but this still hurts. We are meeting tonight with the agency, so I will know a little more, but now I do think we will be a little more prepared.

Thanks,

Matt

[Gwen72]

Good luck Matt! I hope things go well with your agency visit tonight.

[minibus]

Just wanted to wish you luck and put my two cents in...

Our SW talked about a potential adoptive family that she knew who got chosen by a birth family when one of the PAPs had multiple sclerosis. So ... you never know!

When your doctor writes his/her recommendation, can you have him/her clarify his CYA statement? Maybe something like "Matt should not be left alone with a child until that child is old enough to understand Matt's epilepsy and how to call for help."? I could understand where it would be very scary for a child to see you have a seizure and not know what to do. Can you talk to your doctor about WHY you shouldn't be left alone with a child and have him put that in the statement?

Just some thoughts. Best of luck with your agency visit!

[mdesi]

IA. Ask him why you should not be left alone with a child. You don't need to answer this, but what about your epilepsy makes it so that you should not be left alone; are you allowed to be left alone on your own devices w/o a child? The reason I ask is b/c I know several people who also epilepsy and have been awarded custody of their children in a divorce. So, why would a judge be okay w/ awarding custody but not adoption.

[jules17]

Originally Posted by minibus

Our SW talked about a potential adoptive family that she knew who got chosen by a birth family when one of the PAPs had multiple sclerosis. So ... you never know!

I don't understand this statement. I know many people with MS who lead very healthy, active and FULL lives. Busier than me, and I am busy!!

[Giulia2213]

Hi Matt
I don't know for the American homestudy, but in France, epilepsy doesn't prevent you to adopt
I suffer from Single Sided Deafness (or unilateral deafness, it's the same ) and I know I won't be pregnant, unless medicine progress in order to prevent deafness from pregnancy in the coming years.
Ok, I won't compare a SSD (Single Sided Deafness) with epilepsy, but I just want to send you a few words