[mommamarci]

Our 14k was everything. Home study, agency fees, attorney fees, post placements, and travel. (We are only about 4 hours from Cinci, so we drove which helped with travel fees and we had a very short ICPC.)

[mommamarci]

Originally Posted by aclee

You are talking agency fees though right? I want to spend 15K, or there abouts for everything...home study, travel, post placement, finalization...the whole shebang...

I was posting when you wrote this. Our agency fees were less than 8k. Attorney was 2k. Home study and post placements were about 2k (Don't remmeber exactly how much). Then we had minimal travel, our books, finger printing, etc. Total for EVERYTHING was under 14k.

[Stormster]

If you locate a birth mother on your own, say through P profiles like we did, you can then finalize using an agency to assist the finalization. It wasn't complicated.

And as you know our entire adoption (not counting the month out of state) was probably less than 8K including advertising AND the agency assistance.

[oceanica]

hey aclee, did you give up on the fostering idea and the sibling groups?

[Gwen72]

We live in Indiana. I took mommamarci's advice and checked out the agency she used in Ohio to get her two boys. Our son was born in Cincinnati but we will finalize in Xenia where I grew up. I used to hang out with the wrong crowd in the middle of the night on the same courthouse steps where we will finalize the adoption of our son. If that's not a "full circle moment" as Oprah calls it I don't know what is. Our total costs are $17,000 but that is because we have to pay for the bmom's medical bills. Otherwise it would be about $13,000. Good luck on your search for number 2!

[aclee]

Originally Posted by oceanica

hey aclee, did you give up on the fostering idea and the sibling groups?

I haven't given up on anything A girl needs to stack her deck sometimes you know!

[ChromaKelly]

Aclee, things are also going to depend on whether or not the emom is in an agency-only state. Caleb's birthmom was in IL, so the adoption had to go through an agency, but she had contacted a facilitator, who then contacted us. So, we had to pay the facilitator's fee, plus the agency fees, which is why it ended up being so expensive.
I see your thought process though, trying to eliminate all those entities that you have to pay, sometimes for not doing a whole lot!

[brooklyn_girl]

We are doing an independent adoption. You probably already know this, but one thing to keep in mind is the importance of choosing to search in states that have favorable adoption laws. Also the advertising costs can pile up if you are not careful. Good luck!

[Stormster]

Hi Brooklyn. I'm not sure what you mean by favorable adoption laws?

[brooklyn_girl]

Stormster, our atty walked us through the various states she recommended advertising in, explaining that some states have "better" adoption policies than others. For example some states have laws that make it very easy for the Bmom to change her mind, others make it harder. Also finalization policies vary. If I can find my notes from this meeting, I will post them!

[Stormster]

Brooklyn a lot of people think adoption laws SHOULD give the birth mother a fair amount of time to make her decision. I personally would rather know she had all the time in the world to make up her mind. Many people on this site are birth mothers who did not have fair or ethical relinquishments. Others who are adoptive parents who believe that some of the existing laws should be changed to be more favorable (fair) to birth mothers ie longer wait times before TPR. So the notion of favorable might not sit well with some people here.

[SupaModel]

Originally Posted by brooklyn_girl

Stormster, our atty walked us through the various states she recommended advertising in, explaining that some states have "better" adoption policies than others. For example some states have laws that make it very easy for the Bmom to change her mind, others make it harder. Also finalization policies vary. If I can find my notes from this meeting, I will post them!

In my state the TPR is 30 days! For us that was way too long and stressful. If given the chance I would rather closed in a state with shorter TPR and finalization. I didn't know there were options.

[binkybear]

Originally Posted by SupaModel

In my state the TPR is 30 days! For us that was way too long and stressful. If given the chance I would rather closed in a state with shorter TPR and finalization. I didn't know there were options.

I'm in this state too. TPR minimum is 72 hours with a 30 day revocation. Hub was totally freaked out by that at first, where the more I told him how I felt about it the more he understood the reasoning for it. He's good now, but I know he'll still worry during that whole month+. We'll both have our moments, hoping they balance out and we're not both freaking out at the same time! Honestly I'm glad to have the extended time there so we won't ever have to feel as though *we* rushed a decision on another woman/man and that the decision had the time it deserved before, during and several weeks after birth.

I understand Brooklyn's take though. The Attorney's we spoke with were waaaaaay different than agencies. Not clumping them all together, but those I spoke with were all about the fast placement and pretty much nothing else....maybe because we are in the state we're in??

We all come in from different angles and we learn as we go

[brooklyn_girl]

Stormster, I didn't mean to offend anyone, and I completely understand your point. By all means, others can choose a state that lets birthmoms change their mind well after placing - it's everyone's choice. I should not have used the word "favorable" even though that is how I view it. My apologies.

[brooklyn_girl]

OK, for anyone curious about how adoption laws vary from state to state, there is a great chart in the Complete Idiot's Guide To Adoption, on pg. 120. Hopefully this link will work:
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption - Google Book Search