[SupaModel]

Originally Posted by Stormster

I saw a show on 20/20 about a little girl who was badly neglected and lived through a knife attack that left her paralyzed and she is fully bonded to her foster (now parents) and a wonderful, positive roll model for everyone around her. So that's her.

BTW.... I saw this and cried. The fact that her bmom fought the adoption really p'ed me off! Sorry to hijack

[Momto1human-2furry]

I've wondered the same thing.Then seen bio kids have equal amount of seperation anxiety.

I say its rubbish and people who try and prove the negative effects of adoption quote "primal wound" and higher seperation anxiety amongst adopted kids. While thats a theory with nothing to back it.

[Rubi]

Thanx for all your thoughts....Now I know I can relax more and just trust my motherly 'gut' feeling....I think it also makes a difference what type of 'personality' your first child has...Like my first a/son is a VERY emotional ,sensitive kid....So it is easy to fall victim to all this litteriture regarding adoption, planting all kinds of fears into a/parents heads....(reading all kinds of nonsense into absolutely non-adoption related behavior!). My second a/son is totaly different...He is only 1 yr old, but a 'happy-go-lucky' type of child...No crying, no nothing....

I've got a 'half'-brother (sorry for the term), that I don't see often...He was adopted at the age of 4yr by my mother's nephew (mom couldn't look after her kids then..financially)...A few years ago I asked him about this 'rejection-fear-thing'....His answer made alot of sense to me: He said that being adopted didn't cause feelings of rejection in him ...but if he had to be rejected by his b/mom(my bio-mom) as an adult, when trying to reunite, that would have caused alot of hurt and feelings of rejection....

[RavenSong]

Just a quick thought about diagnosing adoped children with ADHD or ADD. When I was informed in 1985 that my then-13-year-old son was severely ADHD, I went to the library and checked all the books out I could find on the condition.

Lo and behold, I got my hands on a book about the history of "Special Education" in this country, written by a sociologist. There was a whole chapter devoted to ADHD and learning disabilities among adopted children. The author concluded that adopted children were overrepresented in the ADHD statistics due to the way that school districts are reimbursed by the state and federal governments for special ed. programs. His conclusion was that adoptees were seen as an easy target group for these diagnoses.

My best friend is a university professor who adopted her son as an infant. When he was in early grade school, the teachers tried to peg him as ADHD and LD. She refused to accept these diagnoses, however. (I might mention that she's a sociologist and tends to see stuff like this thru sociology-tinted glasses.) Anyway, to make a long story short: she refused to let the school place her son into special ed. He eventually went on to a renowned university for his engineering degree with a full scholarship. He is now finishing up his doctorate in engineering.

[WizardofOz]

Have three older bio kids and a three years old son who was adopted at birth. I don't sign up for "primal wound" theories. A kid is a kid and separation anxiety is a normal phase. My four kids were pretty the same when it came to separation anxiety, they all protested against the seperation in the morning when they went to kindergarten but then they were all very happy at kindergarten during the day.

In general, I see great similarities among all my kids in all areas although genetically the kids are very different (my bio are Iraqi Jews/European Jews and my adopted is Cambodian). My kids are the perfect nature vs. nurture experiment, LOL. I think how you raise adopted kids and the environment has a huge impact on them.

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by WizardofOz

Have three older bio kids and a three years old son who was adopted at birth. I don't sign up for "primal wound" theories. A kid is a kid and separation anxiety is a normal phase. My four kids were pretty the same when it came to separation anxiety, they all protested against the seperation in the morning when they went to kindergarten but then they were all very happy at kindergarten during the day.

In general, I see great similarities among all my kids in all areas although genetically the kids are very different (my bio are Iraqi Jews/European Jews and my adopted is Cambodian). My kids are the perfect nature vs. nurture experiment, LOL. I think how you raise adopted kids and the environment has a huge impact on them.

This is so interesting. Not only different families but such different cultures. You must be great parents!

[lisa in venice]

Adopted kids DO get dxed with these disorders more often and the theory I have seen about this kind of resonates with me (as the mom of four kids with varying degrees if ADD) First of all adoptive parents are a pretty proactive lot. Adoptive parents are far more likely to seek professional medical help then bio parents not because their kids are more difficult then their peers but because we are the kind of people to attack a problem (or perceived) problem earlier then most other parents. The other thing that I heard (from a Clinical Social Worker and mom of 6 adopted kids) is that ADD tend to run in families and ADD is often a factor in unintended pregnancies. We only have contact with two of our kid's birth families and let me tell you ADD is DEFINITELY a factor in mulit-generations in both of those families. BTW it is in my own family as well as does Autism so if I had had bio kids there is a very good chance that my kids would still be ADD/ADHD AND on the Autism spectrum.