[Fran27]

I was just thinking this morning that, now that I have children, I understand better why sometimes my father yelled at us, and that, although I still think my mom always preferred my brother, I realize now that maybe it's because my twin and I had each other and he was more 'lonely', and maybe it's because she never really took the time to bond with us individually when we were little too... and now I realize that it can be hard with twins when you have a full time job and study in the evening...

It doesn't make everything she did ok, but at least I understand more now.

Has anything changed with your relationship with your parents since you became a parent yourself?

[jarian]

I don't have any children yet, but since going through the foster care classes and such, my mom and I are bonding more. She gives me great advice and even tells me things to do with my children that she should have done with me and my siblings. Since I have been buying stuff for the (future) children, I've noticed, with my mom having three children to support and no husband, that she made her money stretch as far as she could. I was telling my mom that my childhood was not very memorable. I don't remember her reading stories at bedtime and such. I will do more memorable things with my children. Even though I dreaded having to come home when the street lights come on, my kids will have to do the same thing. I used to hate having to be in bed by 9:00, but my kids will be doing the same. There are a lot of things my mom did that I didn't understand back then, but I fully understand now.

[aallen25]

My mom and I have always been close so becoming a parent just made us closer. I have come to appreciate her, and all that she has EVER done for me, a lot more since becoming a mom.

My relationship with my dad has definitely grown also since becoming a mom. My dad and I were never close...he was a pretty hands off dad. Now that he has grandkids, though, his is totally hands ON and just amazing with them. Sometimes I can't believe he's the same dad who raised me!

[ocracoke]

My mom and I were always close -- we live next door to each other -- so becoming a parent did not change that relationship. My dad and I have smoothed out our relationship a lot since I became a parent. This is not because I have gained insight to him and his parenting since becoming a parent. This is because he has mellowed the older he gets (he parented my older sister and I very differently then he parented my younger brother and sister -- 20 years younger then me) and because my daughter adores him. Becoming a parent didn't change my history but I let some of it go for my daughter's sake.

Samantha

[finallyamom0310]

I definately see things differently from my childhood than I do now. I have also apologized to my father many times. I wasn't a bad kid but did test the limits a lot.

[crick]

My parents are both gone but being a parent has given me a much deeper appreciation for all the things they did for me as a child. How difficult it is to bite your tongue and take the verbal "hits" from your child at times, how much you fight with every fiber of your being to protect your kid and how much worry you have over the decisions you make as a parent.

I can look back at certain decisions they made for me as a child with a much better view and stronger appreciation for that. And yes..they ended up being right.

[nikkianni]

My Mom and I have never been extremely close. She always wanted me to be girly when that just wasn't my personality. She was very emotional where I'm not, etc. We just don't have a lot in common.
Being a parent has made us closer, though we're still very different people and our parenting styles reveal that. Mom was a hoverer with us. I am not. It drives her nuts that I don't chase DD all over the house to see what she's doing EVERY MINUTE. But at least now she can laugh at herself about it.
I've always been very close with my Dad, so I wouldn't say that our relationship has changed. I will say that he is definitely NOT the same guy who parented us. He was always very relaxed as a parent, don't get me wrong. But he literally lets DD do anything she wants so long as it won't cause her harm. I got there one day to pick her up and she was chewing on one of Mom's candles! I took it away and asked Dad what he was thinking. "She wanted it." Oh, and I stopped him from giving her soda the other night at dinner. Yeesh.

[loveajax]

I am much closer to my mom especially now. We have always butted heads (we are just different types of people) but I really appreciate her now that I am a mom myself!!! I even find myself saying things like her that I swore I NEVER would. My favorite: "you don't have to love me, you don't even have to like me, but dangit all you'll respect me!!!"

[nee18]

I think it's definitely made me closer to my parents in certain ways and I've better understood some of the decisions they made that I really didn't get while I was growing up. I also am so appreciative of all that my mom did for us when we were adjusting to being home with our new baby. But, there have also been some tense moments where I've had to stand up for some parenting decisions I've made and not back down, even though my mom didn't agree. Even as an adult, it's hard to stand up to your mom!

[awaitingagirl]

I would have to say that when I had my bio kids I had NO idea that my mom would be so anti-grandma lol She loves them, dont get me wrong she just has no interest in babysitting or spending tons of time with them. Her feeling is "I raised my kids, so raise yours" lol But its ok. It is still a bit shocking to me as I am the only one providing the grandchildren but oh well.

[lovemy2boys]

I wouldn't say it's changed our relationship...but it has enhanced our relationship.

We've always been close, but our love and bond has strengthened immensely since we've become parents.

My parents have always been good parents...hands on parents...but I don't think I truly appreciated how much until I saw it first hand in the way they interact with our kids.

We are truly blessed...

[jules17]

Originally Posted by Fran27

Has anything changed with your relationship with your parents since you became a parent yourself?

Ummm, yeah...I constantly find myself wanting to throw myself at my parents' feet and scream "I'm not worthy!!"

As in, WOW - I appreciate them and all they have done SO MUCH.

My mom started grad school (1st grad degree) when we were little and sometimes it was hard to have "another premade dinner" so she could study, but I sure understand now. (although I hope to be finished with school by the time my children would be able to make this connection)

She also worked full time with 2 littles and school.

My parents did a fantastic job and I completely honor them (as well as their role as grandparents, which is amazing to watch!)

[aclee]

Perhaps I'm on the other side of the spectrum from most answers. My parents divorced when I was about 3. My sister and I were raised by my father for 2 years until he remarried, then we were raised jointly by him and my step mother in addition to 2 step sisters.

I had little contact in with my mother until college. Once out from under my fathers roof I was able to form my own opinions of my mother without negative influence from my father or step mother. I worked hard to rebuild my relationship with my mother.

Having Ty has set us back so far. My mother has a very, "its in the past" mentality and has never discussed why/how my father ended up with custody, or why/how there was so little communication with her when we were younger. Having a child now, it's so much harder to understand and accept.

She have been married two times. My father was her first husband, she had two children, whom were raised by their father. She remarried, had two more children. When they divorced, their father was also "given" custody. She didn't fight for custody of any of her 4 children. None of us have any idea why.

Having a child has strained my relationship with my mother in extreme ways...it did the same for my sister. Brought up a lot of unresolved issues...

[Stormster]

Originally Posted by crick

My parents are both gone but being a parent has given me a much deeper appreciation for all the things they did for me as a child. How difficult it is to bite your tongue and take the verbal "hits" from your child at times, how much you fight with every fiber of your being to protect your kid and how much worry you have over the decisions you make as a parent.

I can look back at certain decisions they made for me as a child with a much better view and stronger appreciation for that. And yes..they ended up being right.

EXACTLY the same for me except Dad is here mom is not. Thanks Crick.

[qs mom]

Actually, mom and I were closer before I had my son. She doesn't like my parenting. Doesn't beleive that my son is disabled. Thinks that I medicate my son so that 'my life will be easier'. We are still close. We just try to agree to disagree. And remember that I AM THE MOM.

My dad and I have never been close. He doesn't believe that my son is disabled either. He thinks it's 'nothing a good spanking won't cure'.

But, my dad is different since my son. He isn't as critical of me as he used to be. He adores my son. Does a bunch of stuff with him that he would never have even thought of doing with us. He spoils my son to a degree. I think he feels he needs to 'step up' becasue I'm a single parent.