[mondk]

Joshie is 18 mos. old now and we are just now witnessing some separation anxiety. My SIL and I are taking some water aerobics classes at our local YMCA and they provide a babysitter while you are in class. Well when I put him in the sitter room, he ran right off to play. My older son Brad was playing air hockey in a room next to the sitter's room. Well, Brad walked by to go to the water fountain and Joshie saw him apparently and started screaming for "Brubber Brad"; he wouldn't stop...so the sitter lady asked Brad if he would come in and help him calm down a bit. Brad played with him for about 10 min. then some other kiddos came in and Joshie started playing with them and Brad was able to sneak out.

When I went to pick him up he ran fast towards me, nearly knocking me over and screamed "MOMMY!" He couldn't wait to go "bye bye". Now I know the sitter and she is wonderful with kids so I don't quite know the problem.

I thought separation anxiety started around 9 mos. not 18 mos. Do you think he is delayed/behind?

Blessings, Michelle

[RavenSong]

Michelle, I think Joshie is right on target for separation anxiety as far as babysitters or daycare goes. That boy is not delayed at all from what you've told us in the past.

I cannot believe he's already 18 months old -- they grow up so darn fast, don't they?!!

[cborsa7]

Yep, I agree, very normal. Mine is 18 months and does the same. So much to the point that I have not left him with anyone because it upsets me too much, lol.
Don't have any advice on this subject, I have yet to conquer it myself.
Hope you get some suggestions!

[finallyamom0310]

Mine has been doing it since 9 months. Not sure when it stops for her.

[aclee]

It's been my experience that some kids go through the anxiety twice. For Ty he did have some around 9 months, but was easily soothed. Plus at that age, he was into learning so many things, he just wanted to explore. It almost seems like the anxiety at 9 months is more an awareness anxiety. They are very aware they aren't with Mommy, and suddenly they realize they can state a preference for her.

I think the for a majority of kids the separation anxiety comes on stronger around 18 months when a child will really have anxiety that the parent isn't coming back, or they have real fear of the new environment. Every parent makes their own choices, but I'm a big believer in not sneaking off on children that have separation anxiety. I'm not saying stay till they are comfortable and happy, I'm saying tell them you are leaving, that you will be back, and then leave. Make it predictable and always the same. That is how I've dealt with it with Nanny kids, and it worked great.

[asante]

I agree, that is a norm for most kids.. I was baby sitting my friend kids who are 3 and seven. The 3 old was crying his heart out because he wants to go to his sister because she was up stair..

[Cjmeck]

That sounds like about the timeframe that my son started too. He was always very independent and then all of a sudden, it occured to him that I could leave.
I just left Savannah at the child watch at the YMCA for the first time today myself and I was sooooo nervous. But she took one look at the toys and kids and never even looked back at me. Now, I completely expect she'll be a little more concerned about being left each time I go since she'll realize that being there=mommy leaves. But to this point, she hasn't had any separation issues either. I'm just patiently waiting my turn though, because I'm sure it'll come. I hope your son adjusts soon, as its such a nice break.

[live4rachael]

Yep, our 18-month-old munchkin started this a few weeks ago. It's fun, isn't it?

From what I've been told by friends, they do go in phases with SA, like what aclee posted.

[mondk]

Okay, so tonight I stayed in the sitter's room for a few minutes, took Joshie's coat off and bent down to get on eye level with him and told him I was leaving but I would be back soon. He seemed to accept this and moved on over to the toys. That was when me and "brubber (haha)" left. I had gotten barely 3 feet away from the room when I heard a horrible scream...it was Joshie. I could hear him screaming all the way to the front desk.

After Brad got done with his class about 15 min. before mine was over, he went to the sitter's room where Joshie was still screaming and tried to pick him up and love on him...I was told Joshie continued to scream for both "Mommy" and "Daddy". The babysitter looked a little bit haried when I went to get Joshie...she said 2 other kids came in after him and one cried the whole time too. I bet she goes out for a drink tonight, LOL.

I do think it will get better, it has to, because I will leave eventually for my classes. I've paid up for these classes and I'm enjoying them immensely.

The program director emailed me back and told me to look for a "Mommy and Me" class next session...I can't wait!!!! Maybe things will get better then too as Joshie may become more familiar with the Y.

Blessings, Michelle