[karla-k]

We are now adopting internationally and very close to bringing our son home. We also have 3 bio kids. I still have that newborn baby urge though and think that adopting domestically after this is appealing.

What are our chances of being selected by a birthmother? We are in our late 30s now, DH is in his early 40s by the time we applied again. We will have 3 bio kids and an adopted son. I stay at home with the kids.

What do most birthmothers look for? Childless couples? Younger people?

[Stormster]

Karla, our son's birth mother chose us when i was 42 and DH was 44. I think parents looking to place choose the parents for many different personal reasons. I've seen many place with gay couples, single parents, young and old (like us) .

We had a fair number of women contact us knowing our age btw so don't let it stop you!

[Amber76]

The social worker at our adoption agency told me that when she herself was trying to adopt as a single woman 20 years ago that the agency kept telling her that most birthmoms wouldn't consider a single mom and that she was probably wasting her time. She told them that she didn't need most birthmoms to pick her, just one birthmom. I think that's the attitude you should go into it with-some expectant moms may be turned away by your ages or how many kids you have, but one probably won't be, and that's the one who would chose you. Good luck!

[nurse_reedle]

I have been told there is a match for everyone....it is just finding yours!

[ourdreamcametru]

DH and I were both 38 and had two bio son's when we were chosen. I don't think there is a "norm" for what birthmother's are looking for so I say go for it!

[jpeel99]

I think every birthmom is different. If it's in your heart, you should go for it. Call around to agencies, as some do not work with couples with children.

[MelissaLovesPugs]

I agree with previous posters. The lady we're working with for our domestic adoption has said pretty much the same. All moms are different. Some may be looking for their child to be a first, or an only. Others may be thrilled for their child to have siblings. Some may want younger parents, some older. Some may like pets and some may not.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[asante]

Karla,

When we applied we thought we had to do international due to my hubby age. When the agency told us we could work with you guys with domestic on their infant program I was shocked.. We just go matched and our wait was about six weeks.. So you never know.. Good luck..

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by karla-k

We are now adopting internationally and very close to bringing our son home. We also have 3 bio kids. I still have that newborn baby urge though and think that adopting domestically after this is appealing.

What are our chances of being selected by a birthmother? We are in our late 30s now, DH is in his early 40s by the time we applied again. We will have 3 bio kids and an adopted son. I stay at home with the kids.

What do most birthmothers look for? Childless couples? Younger people?

There's no telling. I was 34 and DH was 48 when we applied and it was a 20 month process the first time. DD came to us three months before DH turned 50. Her first mom wanted an older couple with no children... she was older herself. With DS, his first mom wanted her child to for sure have a sibling so that was a factor in her picking us. I have heard that the wait is longer at times when there are already many kids in the family although I am certain there are women considering adoption who would be interested in the possibility of a larger family for their child. To me, the only factors I believe seem to affect wait for sure is how open you might be to race and special needs. Other than that, there is no set of guidelines for what an expecting parent considering placement might want.