[finallyamom0310]

We were afraid to buy too. We had a few toys in the closet but that was it. For us it was a blessing in disguise. Being a last minute match, my family came in and painted, decorated and got the crib and glider for us. I had dressers so all set there. Neighbors and family had held onto clothes so the drawers were stocked and all was ready when we returned after ICPC came through.

[desertmom2b]

Just curious if you are planning to have an Adoption Party...like a baby shower. You might want to leave some items for your friends and family to purchase too.

I know for me, I am wanting to adopt older children between 3-8 yrs old and it's been difficult not buying things for them. I have limited myself to childrens story books and Disney DVDs. They work for almost any age and both girls/boys.

My plan is to get them the basics during the transition from Foster family to my home after I meet them and know their sizes and likes. Then, we'll have a big Adoption Party where we register on the gift registries, etc so they can get more of what they want/like to celebrate the finalization.

[nee18]

We bought VERY little. I totally remember what you're feeling, though. My mom kept encouraging me to buy things (she was a bad influence ), but her point was that waiting to adopt should be like a pregnancy. For me, though, I just couldn't do it. I tend to be superstitious and didn't want to "jinx" anything either, as someone else mentioned. But, depending on what you're open to (we were open to a lot of situations), you might have a shorter wait than you think and may want to be prepared-we learned the hard way. We had a diaper bag, we painted the room, and had a few outfits-that was it. Then, after only 2 months waiting, got the call and, since our son's bmom was already in labor when we were matched, had to run around and get everything!!! If you can bear it, it might be a good idea to get some stuff-is there anywhere you can hide it so you don't have to look at it? That was my big thing-I didn't want to look at it all the time. It would have just made me sad thinking about being a mom and not knowing when it would happen. Each person's different, though. Also, we had 2 baby showers after we brought our son home, so, if you're planning on having any baby showers and you do decide to shop, you might want to get the basics like Desertmom mentioned, so that other people can buy you and the baby stuff.

[devildogwife]

We bought some stuff towards the latter end of our waiting to be matched period. I was super paranoid, but I too but used gender neutral clothing. I also got a used crib and some other furniture very cheaply. We stuck the stuff in our 2nd room and shut the door so we didn't have to look at it. I wish I would have bought more diapers ahead of time (especially newborn size, my son was tiny!).

[fisbaby]

We bought all of the things to decorate the nursery and then eventually just closed the door b/c we couldn't take looking at it when we walked by. One thing I was very happy we did was buy diapers and formula when we went to the store. I ended up with a ton, and of course they ended up being wrong but you can exchange all of that. I didn't have to buy diapers or formula for a very long time after we brought our little one home. I bought a couple gender neutral outfits and then went shopping more upon the match. The shopping is what kind of got me through and kept reminding me I truly would have a baby at some point. I loved looking at all of the baby stuff and picking things out. Yes I hated it when I wasn't using it but the process still helped me a lot.

[mdesi]

I'm still in the waiting phase, but I did break down and buy some neutral baby bedding when we almost placed with a "due next week" situation. We inherited so much from our nieces and nephew as far as baby stuff, and it's all tucked away in the "waiting room" closet. (We have changed the "baby's room" to the name of the "waiting room.")

One thing our SW and attorneys have told us we needed was a carseat. We already inherited one, but I would definitely go out and buy one if we didn't have one. You never know when you will get a call that a baby is already born and waiting for you to pick him/her up.

[devildogwife]

Funny thing about car seats. Yep, had a nice infant carrier bought. We transported it over 2000 miles to where Cameron was born and yep, he's one of the few babies that needed a car bed. Yep, he went home in a car bed. Never used the other one. I guess you can only be so prepared.

[Gwen72]

I bought about 12 outfits un newborn size and 6 in 3 to 6 months. I don't know why I thought our child would be big. Our now 5 day old son was 5 1/2 pounds at birth. Everything I have looks like a sleep sack on him! I bought all the clothes in yellow or green. I also bought a carseat/stroller combo and a crib and a bassinette. When ICPC clears and we get to go home I will buy bedding for the crib and buy a dresser/changing table combo. The room is now a gust bedroom. I am going to paint it yellow and the trim will be blue to coordinate with the colors on the Winnie the Pooh bedding I want.

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by Gwen72

I bought about 12 outfits un newborn size and 6 in 3 to 6 months. I don't know why I thought our child would be big. Our now 5 day old son was 5 1/2 pounds at birth. Everything I have looks like a sleep sack on him! I bought all the clothes in yellow or green. I also bought a carseat/stroller combo and a crib and a bassinette. When ICPC clears and we get to go home I will buy bedding for the crib and buy a dresser/changing table combo. The room is now a gust bedroom. I am going to paint it yellow and the trim will be blue to coordinate with the colors on the Winnie the Pooh bedding I want.

Great suggestion Gwen. I had no newborn clothes and a tiny, tiny baby. I definitely could have used them sooner.

[AdoptInMN]

A suggestion I got from an adoptive mother turned out to be very helpful. Everytime she went to Target (or wherever else you shop) she got a $10 gift card (or added the $ to one she had on her). This was like putting money in a savings account (without interest, of course), but when she got the referral and came home they had enough in gift cards for diaper and formula for the first 6 months. Those first few months I found to be tighter on the budget than I suspected (who knew 6 month olds could go through 14 diapers/day???). I loved that suggestion and still do it to this day if I have extra cash on me. To see how much money I have on my card is like Christmas coming early.

[mommamarci]

Oh yeah, one more thing. I stocked up on supplies for us. I bought extra deoderant, soap, shampoo, etc. I stored it all under the sink in the second bathroom. That way I would not need to buy that stuff at the beginning when we were adjusting to the new expenses of baby. Plus that stuff will always get used...

[powderpiggy]

We bought nothing while we were waiting to be matched. Sometimes I would see stuff and want to buy it but at some insecure superstitious level I thought it would 'jinx' the situation. So I would make a mental note and say...I can't wait till we are matched, I will be able to buy that. Anyways, our match proceeded very quickly. DS was born a week and a half after we met DS birth mom. The weekend before he was born we made a mad dash to Ikea (also 3 hours away for us) and stocked up. I went to target and bought onsies, diapers, snappie tees, wipes, and a few bottles. Little did I know I would be using them only three days later. After we brought DS home we received tons of stuff from friends and family, so we really only bought the essentials.

[lotsa_love_2give]

I would buy baby items everytime I went into a store with a baby section. I bought boy and girl clothing (almost always really, really marked down) and some unisex items. We bought a travel system stroller combo, crib, changing table, and I spent many days fixing up our nursery. It kept me sain while we were "waiting".

I am SOOOOOO glad that we did, because we got "THE CALL" 20 hours after our daughter was born. We had to drive three hours to meet our Bmom and our Daughter immediatly! We were having to stay out of state, so I grabbed all the girl clothes I had ready (washed in dreft already!) carseat and bassinet and off we went. We had to stay in another state for almost 2 weeks, and only had to buy a couple of items. I just got to relax and bond with my new baby girl!

There were times I hit rock bottom with the whole "waiting" game, and the only thing (for me) that kept me calm was going in our nursery and going through clothes or reading some of the books outloud to myself. For me, it was a place I went and knew that there was a child for me out there, I just had to have the patience. (Plus it was one less thing for me to worry about once we got her home)!

Everyone is different. Follow your heart.

[mandirenee]

I had a friend who delivered her baby and he passed away when he was 2 days old. She then while waiting to get pregnant for the second, would buy 1 small thing everytime at the store. This gave her the hope she needed to go on. That stuck with me.

While we were waiting from match to placement with our first we purchased our crib and changing table/dresser and several neutral items. I also purchased something little when I would shop (diapers, diaper cream, a paci, a bib, a book, or small toy). This gave me hope. 4 weeks before the birth of our son our friends threw an adoption shower. They purchased all our big stuff: car seat, stroller, packn play, etc. What a surprise!!!! You will always use this stuff.

On our second, we have all our big stuff. But I would buy little things every now and then. Now that we are matched and the baby's due anytime. I have purchased girl clothes and nursery bedding. I saved the receipts.

Everyone's different, but I will be very upset if we have a failed placment and having or not having "stuff" won't change that. I'm enjoying being excited in this moment.

Good Luck!

[DancinBear63]

DH and I are still waiting, but I needed to feel like something in this whole process was 'normal'- so I shopped! Each month has brought us one step closer to completing our nursery, and now we're almost done. We started with small things, like clothes and books, then moved onto the big stuff (crib, travel system, pack and play, etc). Our family and friends complain that they won't have anything to buy for us, but I am so glad that the nursery is ready. I like to visit it and dream about the day when it won't be so neat.