[nurse_reedle]

Originally Posted by RavenSong

What a beautiful tribute you have written here. I really think this passage should be included in a book about adoption. You know what I'd do if I were you? I would print out the post you've just written. And then I would show it to the emom you'll be matching with. In my heart, I believe she'll be able to see what a wonderful and amazing mom you are. And she'll be able to better understand why you want to breastfeed the new baby.

I've learned a lot the past couple days reading and sharing on this thread. Thank you for that, RiAnnon.

I need a gentle tears smilie....I think I will do that :-) Thank you! Being on this thread has helped me see the issues, on both sides...more clearly than I ever have before.

[mandiedandie]

[quote=RavenSong]
"When I first saw the threads on adoptive breastfeeding here on the forums, the whole idea kind of made me uneasy. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely believe in the benefits of breastfeeding, especially during the early days when the colostrum comes in. But I just get uneasy about the idea of artificially-induced lactation for some reason."

I don't agree with you in the fact that not all induced breastfeeding is artificially induced. I am one of those people who can make milk easily just by stiumlation...no drugs, hormones, etc. I've never been pregnant, I am incapable of it...yet my body makes milk just fine...so if by artificial you mean that I make milk naturally just by the body's normal response and that is wrong, then okay...and everyone will go back and forth on this because breastfeeding in itself without the issue of adoption is a hot topic...but I think it's up to each individual, and no one should make anyone else feel badly about their decision when it comes to nutrition and bonding with their child...so no matter what anyone on here says...for or against, tell up-front or wait to be asked...you do what you feel comfortable with and what your heart tells you to. And to the OP...I don't think you will find the "Right" answer on here, just opinions, and lots of them...just go with what you feel is right.

[Daisy1339]

[quote=mandiedandie]

Originally Posted by RavenSong

"When I first saw the threads on adoptive breastfeeding here on the forums, the whole idea kind of made me uneasy. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely believe in the benefits of breastfeeding, especially during the early days when the colostrum comes in. But I just get uneasy about the idea of artificially-induced lactation for some reason."

I don't agree with you in the fact that not all induced breastfeeding is artificially induced. I am one of those people who can make milk easily just by stiumlation...no drugs, hormones, etc. I've never been pregnant, I am incapable of it...yet my body makes milk just fine...so if by artificial you mean that I make milk naturally just by the body's normal response and that is wrong, then okay...and everyone will go back and forth on this because breastfeeding in itself without the issue of adoption is a hot topic...but I think it's up to each individual, and no one should make anyone else feel badly about their decision when it comes to nutrition and bonding with their child...so no matter what anyone on here says...for or against, tell up-front or wait to be asked...you do what you feel comfortable with and what your heart tells you to. And to the OP...I don't think you will find the "Right" answer on here, just opinions, and lots of them...just go with what you feel is right.

I'm not sure how you "read" that from RavenSong's post. I don't think she was implying even remotely that it is wrong for adoptive moms to breast feed. And I'm absolutely sure that she would never want any of us to feel bad about our opinions.

I think I feel the same way about it, actually. I would love to breast feed, but something about inducing it makes me uneasy. You can take that as an insult, I suppose, but I certainly don't mean for it to be. Just because it isn't right for me doesn't automatically mean I think you're wrong for wanting to do it. It's just how I feel. I wish I felt differently, but I don't.

I guess my point is, opposing opinions don't equal judgments. There wasn't a hidden message in her opinion. If you read any of RavenSongs posts you'd see that she is a genuine person who tries to help not stir up drama.

[mandiedandie]

Sorry, I guess I did what a lot of people do and put two replies in one...the only part meant towards her was about the un-natural part sentence, after that it's in general. but thank you.

[RavenSong]

MandieDandie, if you read the entire thread a bit more closely, you'll see how I was referring to my own feelings about ABF. I wasn't making any concrete statements from a strictly physiology-oriented view on the different methods of inducing lactation. I was just saying that I felt uneasy. And I never said that all induced lactation was "unnatural". I was referring to artificially induced lactation, using herbs and/or medications.

You're indeed lucky that you're able to lactate via physical stimulation only. Most women need some sort of extra push.

I am a bit confused by your reaction to my posts. Nowhere did I ever come close to saying that I thought ABF is wrong. I was merely being honest with some of my own emotions and thoughts. If anything, I was encouraging potential amoms to discuss this important issue with emoms. A lot of women are totally unaware that adoptive breastfeeding is even possible, even though it's been going on for many years. I think that emoms may be less reluctant about ABF if they knew more about it. Education goes a long way, and open communication between the two mothers goes even further.

Originally Posted by Daisy1339

I'm not sure how you "read" that from RavenSong's post. I don't think she was implying even remotely that it is wrong for adoptive moms to breast feed. And I'm absolutely sure that she would never want any of us to feel bad about our opinions.

I think I feel the same way about it, actually. I would love to breast feed, but something about inducing it makes me uneasy. You can take that as an insult, I suppose, but I certainly don't mean for it to be. Just because it isn't right for me doesn't automatically mean I think you're wrong for wanting to do it. It's just how I feel. I wish I felt differently, but I don't.

I guess my point is, opposing opinions don't equal judgments. There wasn't a hidden message in her opinion. If you read any of RavenSongs posts you'd see that she is a genuine person who tries to help not stir up drama.

Daisy, thank you so much for the kind words and coming to my defense. You've made an important point about opposing opinions not equaling judgments. A lot of people who post on Internet forums and message boards are too easily offended when someone else disagrees with their point of view, IMHO. A difference of opinion doesn't equal flaming or attacking, as long as mutual respect is upheld. It always bothers me a lot when someone feels that I'm insulting them, simply because I have different feelings or thoughts on an issue.

You're right... I would never want anyone on these boards to feel badly about having their own opinions or feelings. We all have the right to express ourselves here, as long as it's done in a respectful manner. We are all individuals, with our own emotions, experiences, opinions, perspectives, advice. Just because I may have a different viewpoint doesn't mean that I think someone else is wrong for having another point of view. Actually, I've learned the most in the threads that do have a lot of differing viewpoints. And I've even been known to change my mind, lol.

[mdesi]

Originally Posted by RavenSong

MandieDandie, if you read the entire thread a bit more closely, you'll see how I was referring to my own feelings about ABF. I wasn't making any concrete statements from a strictly physiology-oriented view on the different methods of inducing lactation. I was just saying that I felt uneasy. And I never said that all induced lactation was "unnatural". I was referring to artificially induced lactation, using herbs and/or medications.

You're indeed lucky that you're able to lactate via physical stimulation only. Most women need some sort of extra push.

I am a bit confused by your reaction to my posts. Nowhere did I ever come close to saying that I thought ABF is wrong. I was merely being honest with some of my own emotions and thoughts. If anything, I was encouraging potential amoms to discuss this important issue with emoms. A lot of women are totally unaware that adoptive breastfeeding is even possible, even though it's been going on for many years. I think that emoms may be less reluctant about ABF if they knew more about it. Education goes a long way, and open communication between the two mothers goes even further.

Daisy, thank you so much for the kind words and coming to my defense. You've made an important point about opposing opinions not equaling judgments. A lot of people who post on Internet forums and message boards are too easily offended when someone else disagrees with their point of view, IMHO. A difference of opinion doesn't equal flaming or attacking, as long as mutual respect is upheld. It always bothers me a lot when someone feels that I'm insulting them, simply because I have different feelings or thoughts on an issue.

You're right... I would never want anyone on these boards to feel badly about having their own opinions or feelings. We all have the right to express ourselves here, as long as it's done in a respectful manner. We are all individuals, with our own emotions, experiences, opinions, perspectives, advice. Just because I may have a different viewpoint doesn't mean that I think someone else is wrong for having another point of view. Actually, I've learned the most in the threads that do have a lot of differing viewpoints. And I've even been known to change my mind, lol.

And, now, I'm coming to Mandie's defense. She admitted that she did not read your post correctly,shw said she was sorry, and STILL you felt the need to come down on her?

[RavenSong]

Originally Posted by mdesi

And, now, I'm coming to Mandie's defense. She admitted that she did not read your post correctly,shw said she was sorry, and STILL you felt the need to come down on her?

Whatever... This whole thing is ridiculous...and I just don't have the mental energy right now to deal with it. I don't think I "came down on her" at all. I'm confused...she didn't say anything about not reading my post correctly. Where did you get that from? If people are going to call me out on something that I said or didn't say, I'm going to respond to them. And if someone wants to read something into one of my posts that isn't there, so be it.

[mdesi]

Originally Posted by mandiedandie

Sorry, I guess I did what a lot of people do and put two replies in one...the only part meant towards her was about the un-natural part sentence, after that it's in general. but thank you.

She clearly said that she put two replies in one - repsonded to two replies in one post is how I interpretted this. Easy to do and miscredit the OP. I just don't think you needed to further correct her when she acknowledged that she was incorrect in her post.

[RavenSong]

Originally Posted by mdesi

She clearly said that she put two replies in one - repsonded to two replies in one post is how I interpretted this. Easy to do and miscredit the OP. I just don't think you needed to further correct her when she acknowledged that she was incorrect in her post.

And I don't think you need to be deciding what I should post or what I shouldn't post. You're not a moderator...and I didn't violate any TOS by responding to her. Why do you feel it necessary to stir the pot, I wonder?

[mdesi]

I did not say I was a moderator. I just think that you could have been kinder to her. It really aggrevates me when people will not (can not) accept an apology. I felt the "need to stir the pot" b/c I did not find your response respectful. This is also my right to do on this board, and I have not violated TOS by responding to you.

I do apologize for sounding harsh. I generally find your posts quite insightful, and not mean spirited. (I am sure that you don't care what I think, but I do mean that sincerely.)

[Fran27]

I understand this can be a pretty emotional subject, just please try to be respectful to each other. Nobody has violated the TOS but please try to be polite.

[JGarrick]

Reading along in this thread, I found it interesting how many people expressed an "ick" factor about the idea of breastfeeding in general. It's even a common comedy theme - someone accidentally drinks breast milk, or adds it to their coffee or whatever.

People are grossed out by human milk, but not cow milk. I find that rather odd.

[nurse_reedle]

Originally Posted by JGarrick

Reading along in this thread, I found it interesting how many people expressed an "ick" factor about the idea of breastfeeding in general. It's even a common comedy theme - someone accidentally drinks breast milk, or adds it to their coffee or whatever.

People are grossed out by human milk, but not cow milk. I find that rather odd.

I have always found that odd too. Human milk is the milk we are SUPPOSED to drink. LOL

[Fran27]

Well I'm quite sure that most people who think 'ick' about breastmilk probably think 'ick' about milk coming straight from the cow, too. I've had it before and it's really different from what you find in supermarkets.

[lovemy2boys]

Originally Posted by Fran27

Well I'm quite sure that most people who think 'ick' about breastmilk probably think 'ick' about milk coming straight from the cow, too. I've had it before and it's really different from what you find in supermarkets.

For me, it's not the milk, it's the dispenser...

And I know that it's an irrational, incomprehensible way to feel. I WISH I felt differently...such is life, I guess.

And like I've said before, it's my own personal hangup - it's not how I necessarily feel about others breastfeeding, but how I'd feel about myself breastfeeding...

Weird, I know...