[kittymom]

Our home visit is in one week, and I'm starting to panic! We live in a 100+ year old house, so it's not perfect. It has peeling paint in spots and needs a gutter replaced and so on and so on ...

Last week my DH was off work for the whole week, so we got one important project finished and two projects to the "acceptable" stage. I was so proud of how much we got accomplished, but now ... now that our home visit is happening in ONE WEEK, all the remaining projects and clutter and imperfections are glaring and hideous. We also need to add more smoke alarms, get a fire extinguisher, relocate all the power tools out of the reach of kiddies, etc. How can we possible get this place ready in just one week???

I know social workers aren't looking for perfection. They just want to know there's room for a child and that it's safe for a child, right? But I'm scared there's something I'm not seeing. I'm worried that what feels to us like a warm, inviting house will seem like a deathtrap to someone not used to old houses.

What stuff do you think is the most important to concentrate on in the time we have left? The exterior makes the first impression, but the SW will spend the most time inside the house (as will the baby). Our bedroom is adjacent to the baby's - will the SW want to see it? Does it matter if the baby's room still has extraneous clutter in it, or will that make it look like we aren't making room in our lives for a child? Will they want to see the laundry room? The office? The guest bedroom?

Has anyone had a SW tell you you have to fix something and then they come back for a second visit? Has anyone had a home visit during the middle of a renovation?

[Fran27]

Relax!!!! I know, it's easier said than done, but they're really not picky.

Our SW only wanted to see that we had a smoke alarm and a fire extinguisher at every floor, and that we had a room for the baby. She took notes of how many bedrooms etc too (went to every one of them, even our messy basement). And that's it.

Obviously we spent a week cleaning the house beforehand... but the baby room was a bedroom at the time, the house was not baby proofed AT ALL, and one of our dogs even put his nose under her skirt, and jumped all over her... No problem. There was even poop in the backyard but she never went to check. For the update a year later, the baby room was full of clutter, the house wasn't half as clean anymore, but the dogs were safely put away, lol. Still no problem. Oh, and our kitchen was (and still is) a lethal place for babies, with open shelves everywhere totally in a baby's reach.

What matters is that you have plans to baby proof the house (or put a gate so the babies can't access the dangerous parts, in our case), you know where the baby room will be (our nursery was actually finished when the babies were four months), and that you don't have dog poop and trash everywhere.

About the renovation, it will depend on how big a renovation it is, and on the SW. We wanted to have our kitchen redone, and delayed our homestudy update because of it because she didn't want to pass the homestudy with the kitchen being a mess.

[kittymom]

Our renovation isn't extensive - more like lots of minor projects that are in various states of finishedness. We did finish our kitchen, which had lots of peeling paint, and that was one of our main concerns. There's still a little peeling paint in the hall and a couple of other places.

And I think I'm going to have to just buy some plastic bins and throw everything sitting on a horizontal surface into them. One bin for the kitchen, one for the living room, and so on, until the clutter is safely stored away (at least until I get time to sort it)!

[sheababy]

Fran27 is right Relax!!! It was seriously no big deal. We needed a fire extinguisher, emergency #'s by the phone, and a first aid kit (we asked our SW beforehand and she told us what we needed). As for projects, we were told there would be a problem if the carpet was ripped up etc (you could trip while carrying a baby) but small stuff no big deal.

We have 2 large dogs, 2 cats and a large UNFENCED pond out back. We had no child proofing. The SW just wanted to know what we planned to do for child proofing. To this day we still have a bunch of our stuff in the baby's room (she's 18 months now).

Our SW looked in all the rooms but did not look in closets etc. The whole inspection took less than 5 minutes. I would say just tidy up, get the smoke detectors etc.

[Betelnut]

Truly, it is not a white glove "inspection"! They just want to see where you live and, I assume, make sure that you don't live in filth or with any obvious issues (gaping holes, etc.)

As everyone has been saying--relax!

[Shadowfaerie]

Hi, we had our meetings with the SW in the kitchen and when it came time to look at the house honestly she didn't want to get up and look. She just wanted us to tell her the age and size of the house and property, and how many bedrooms etc. I had cleaned the entire place so we dragged her from room to room. She said, "it's a porch, it's a bedroom..." she didn't seem to care. I guess she trusted us from the interviews. Our house was built in 1840, and has a slanted roof, so the baby's room has a pretty low ceiling, and at the time the upstairs had no electricity. We told her we had plans to fix that before the baby would be old enough to have his own room and that was good enough for her.

Our SW visits were easy. Try to stay calm.

[nee18]

Your post brought back many memories of me being absolutely NERVE-WRACKED about our home visit, which turned out to truly be so relaxed and unintimidating. I even made my husband by milk before our home study worker came over in case she looked in our frig, because I was convinced that "good parents" have milk in their frig at all times (how ridiculous is that?!) . It's so easy to overthink things and expect it to be a bigger deal than it really turns out to be. It IS so important you would think it would be a lot more intimidating than it is, but ours really wasn't. We had three visits and she didn't even look at our house until the 3rd visit and it took her just a few minutes. We didn't even have to have things baby-proofed yet or anything. I know everyone's experience is different, but it seems to be more common than not that most people's Homestudies end up being pretty painless (at least in terms of having your house inspected). Hope that helps! Congrats on starting your homestudy soon-you're one step closer!

[GoddessDanu]

FYI, the peeling paint might be an issue. I think paint made before 1978 (?) has lead in it. I know that was an issue for us (I was told that the home study visit would be the same as my daycare license inspection) so we had to correct that. I'd call your agency to make sure that the paint isn't an issue for you.

Good luck!

[aclee]

Originally Posted by kittymom

Our home visit is in one week, and I'm starting to panic! We live in a 100+ year old house, so it's not perfect. It has peeling paint in spots and needs a gutter replaced and so on and so on ...

Last week my DH was off work for the whole week, so we got one important project finished and two projects to the "acceptable" stage. I was so proud of how much we got accomplished, but now ... now that our home visit is happening in ONE WEEK, all the remaining projects and clutter and imperfections are glaring and hideous. We also need to add more smoke alarms, get a fire extinguisher, relocate all the power tools out of the reach of kiddies, etc. How can we possible get this place ready in just one week???

I know social workers aren't looking for perfection. They just want to know there's room for a child and that it's safe for a child, right? But I'm scared there's something I'm not seeing. I'm worried that what feels to us like a warm, inviting house will seem like a deathtrap to someone not used to old houses.

What stuff do you think is the most important to concentrate on in the time we have left? The exterior makes the first impression, but the SW will spend the most time inside the house (as will the baby). Our bedroom is adjacent to the baby's - will the SW want to see it? Does it matter if the baby's room still has extraneous clutter in it, or will that make it look like we aren't making room in our lives for a child? Will they want to see the laundry room? The office? The guest bedroom?

Has anyone had a SW tell you you have to fix something and then they come back for a second visit? Has anyone had a home visit during the middle of a renovation?

Are you going through the state? We did a domestic adoption and they never once asked about a fire extinguisor or smoke detectors that I can recall...maybe the smoke detectors, but she didn't ask to see them or anything...

Our house was FAR from perfect. We live in a house built in the 1850's. We are gutting it room by room and rebuilding. We didn't even (and still don't) have a bedroom done for Tyler yet. Our bedroom was "done", the living room was "done", everything worked in the veryoutdated kitchen and bathroom... "done" means it functions...not fancies like trim or floor boards! It was clean and respectable, but not a palace to be sure. We made sure that we showed our personality and we also showed her some of the picture of how much we had done just for fun. She loved our little house! Didn't have one problem with it at all. If you have a place for the baby to sleep, and a safe place for them to be cozy, and play, you are fine

[kittymom]

An update: The social worker had the dates mixed up, and now we're not meeting until the 17th! I'm glad to get more time to complete our projects, but I'm also resigning myself to the fact that our home study probably won't be finished till January. So for sure no baby for the holidays. Even though it was unlikely, I was still daydreaming about it.

Anyway, yeah, I'm nervous about the peeling paint because of the lead paint thing. In the kitchen, we scraped off the peeling stuff and primed with Peel Stop, then painted. So I feel really good about that room being safe now. The back hallway has some peeling paint, so I'd like to give it the same treatment pre-home visit and we'll do it pre-baby for SURE.

We made a To Do list last night ... yikes it's long! :0 But maybe now we'll have to time to get everything done.

It's really comforting to hear about your situation, aclee! An old house is always a work in progress!

ETA: Oh, and no we're not going through the state. We went to foster care orientation before we decided to do private adoption, and they told us we'd need fire extinguisher and smoke alarms, etc. So I asked our SW about it, and he said we needed them, and that an alarm system and carbon monoxide detectors would be icing on the cake but not necessary.

[sbaglio]

Our SW visit was separate from the home inspection by the state, and the visit from the fire department. All the things you're speaking about were not done by the SW. She just spoke with us at our dining room table, asked about our home and families, motivations for adopting etc. It wasn't bad at all.

[hkolln]

When we became licensed foster parents they required a lead inspection done on our home because it was built before the 70's. It took about 2 hrs and it didn't cost us anything. The main thing is to keep your windowsills clean and any blinds you have on the windows. That was where he took samples from...lead paint tends to accumulate in those spots. Luckily I keep the sills clean and the blinds so everything came out clean but it was nerve wracking for me!

And when they did our home inspection it was simple. They want to make sure you have a safe home...not an immaculate one! Nobody is perfect...and make sure you get a list of what needs to be done so you can prepare. We had to lock up all chemicals and medicines but that was because of the foster care licensing requirements. And we had to have smoke detectors in every kids bedroom and on each floor of our home. They also did a health inspection too. They needed our cats rabies shots and the lady came out and checked the hot water and the temp of the fridge/freezer and checked to make sure the toilets worked.

[yehudit]

Hello,
I know you want to panic, it's only natural. I felt the same way before our home visit. Turns out, the home visit was the easiest part of the process. We did not have the baby's room ready AT ALL. We assumed i was a long way off, os we left it as our messy office. I mean, computer with wires going every which way, tippy bookshelves, etc. They just wanted to see that we had a place for the baby. They might or might not revisit the issue at the post-placement visit. We ended up clearing the room the night before leaving for FL to get our daughter.

If you must fuss, and I know that sometimes one must, I'd concentrate on safety. Fire alarms and extinguishers, paint issues, and other potential hazards in your home. If by chance you do have trouble with the home visit, you might be able to ask the SW for a list of improvements that would be required for your home to pass muster. But remember, this is a social worker, not a building inspector.

Good luck,

[WAMozart]

You know, our social worker said something once that made me laugh and I've never forgotten it.
She said, as through reading my mind, "And don't be nervous about the home study. Don't go hiring a painter to repaint the entire house, don't go hiring a cleaning service, and don't go getting new furniture. I'm just coming by to see if there are any chainsaws in the middle of your living room floor."

It was a very relaxing meeting, even with our two (now gone to doggy heaven - sniff) ill-behaved beagles jumping around on everything.

Social workers really are good people, for the most part. They are IN THAT LINE OF WORK because they love helping people and fulfilling their responsibility to society.

Our SW loved our dogs, didn't even ENTER any room except our living room (which you access through the kitchen, so I guess that counts) and our 2nd bathroom. (I think, "Mind if I use your bathroom?" is code for "I'm going to make sure you don't have a hair dryer on the edge of your tub now, or barbituates spilling from a label-less bottle onto the floor.")

Breathe. Don't panic. They WANT you to adopt a child.
They are human, too.

[aclee]

Ours said she was checking for dead rotting animals in the yard. She said other than that kind of stuff, we would be fine