[court5505]

Okay, this is a pet peeve of mine, but I'm seeing it more and more and I wonder if I'm being unreasonable. Today at church, there was a couple in front of us that had a baby, probably about 2 months old. They left her in the car seat the entire time, including when they fed her her bottle. They just propped it up with a burp cloth. That drives me crazy! I could maybe understand if they both had their hands full with something else, but they didn't. I think they should have taken her out and held her while she drank her bottle. Any thoughts?

[OnTheJourney]

DS never had a bottle propped. I was never outnumbered by kids, so there was never the need. But now with DD, there are times during the week, when I am by myself, where I have to prop her bottle. I hate doing it and try to avoid it, but it happens. Now when there are 2 of us and 2 kids, it never happens.
And when DD needs to eat in church, I take her out and hold her to feed her. It is not that much work to unbuckle a kid and buckle them up again. So how does a 2 month old get burped buckled in her seat? That would really get my goat seeing that!

[melissa_bear003]

I completely loathe the practice of propping a bottle. As far as I'm concerned, part of the benefit of breastfeeding is that you HAVE to hold the baby while it nurses, and I honestly believe that its best for the baby, to be held and cuddled during its feedings.

My youngest kidlets are 19 mths and 7 days apart, and believe me I know what a challenge it can be to keep older busy while younger eats...but it can be done. When there's no choice but to hold baby, you find the way, lol

[devildogwife]

I never had that option. Cameron was very weak when he was born and barely had the strength to eat sometimes. Plus, there was no way I could have propped him. He couldn't be in a regular car seat because of the shunt on his heart, and he to be flat any time I wasn't directly supervising him. I had to learn a special way to feed him in the NICU to not obstruct the shunt. I was not easy and I didn't have a lot of help, but I did it.

Now that he's completely tube fed, I really miss being able to hold him and feed him and have him look up into my eyes while he took a bottle. So yeah I agree with you court, it would have driven me a little crazy too. People take so much for granted.

[mommamarci]

I even have a pet peeve with kids holding their own bottles... One of my sister's friends had a 5 month old at Thanksgiving. They laid her on the floor and handed her the bottle. They were sitting right next to her. I have never propped a bottle with either kid. And Spencer has never held a bottle. Some days the only time I sit down is when I am feeding. I enjoy that bonding time.

It just bugged me to see a 5 month old doing it herself...

[rtsmom]

Nature intended babies to be held when they suckle. Because nature intended babies to be fed and comforted at their mother's breast, I believe it is optimal that whenever your child is suckling (that includes soother time) that they be held. Having exclusively breastfed three of my kids and bottle fed one of them, I know that when bottle feeding, it's easier said than done. It can be very tempting, once they can hold their own bottle, to sometimes let them do it on their own.

Janet

[Katwoman555]

He came to me at 8 months and left at 16 months. He refused to let me feed him. He HAD to hold his bottle. This of course is what he was used to. So, I took to giving it to him laying on the bed so I could lay next to him and cuddle him and stroke his head. What a different child he was after a few weeks. He was so sad and unresponsive when he first came. By 16 months when he went with Grandma, he was so sweet and loving. He still enjoyed the cuddling long after he was off the bottle. They need physical touch. It's a part of nurturing. I HATE to see a baby given a bottle then ignored.

[Fran27]

I agree... I swear *all* twin moms I see on forums either feed their babies together in boppies/bouncies or prop the bottles. We've always held ours for feedings. I think it's so important to bond, and our best cuddling opportunity too. Yes, it was hard to have to hold them one at a time when they woke up 3 times at night, but I'm sure being held while fed helped them fall asleep better after too... and yes sometimes the one not being fed cries, but I know it's only going to last 5 minutes and we can cuddle after... I'm actually glad they can't hold their bottles yet, but even if they did I think I would still want to hold them. I'll be sad when we move to sippies...

Now I see why it would be harder when you have other kids to tend to though.

[aclee]

Milk Maid Baby Bottle Holder

I know I could handle not propping if I had 2 (I was a Nanny for twins and didn't prop) ...maybe even 3. More than that...I might prop, I don't know.

I propped ONCE with Tyler. I was throwing up with the flu. This is coming from a Mom who is still holding and feeding because my 10 month old will not hold a bottle himself. Never has. 2 months to go, and he'll be in a sippy cup

[ChromaKelly]

Wow, I have never felt so judged on here for something I didn't even do! I tried to prop bottles, but just couldn't get for it to work, guess it was the type of bottles we used. Sorry, guess I'm the world's laziest mother or whatever, but when I was feeding both at the same time, and my arms were tired, I wish I could have propped one! I used to put one baby on either side of me, against a leg, and hold their bottles when I needed to feed them at the same time. It wasn't all loving and bonding, but it got the job done. I usually tried to hold one off with a binky while the other ate. So, not sure which is the more unloving thing, that I wasn't tenderly cradling them while feeding, or that one had to wait while I fed the other.

As for holding bottles, another thing my two never did, but I wished they would. Not sure what's wrong with that. Not for every feeding, but if they can hold their bottle, what's the big deal? OK, the 5-month old scenario might have annoyed me, but for like an 11-12 month old, I don't see a problem.

[shy_bear]

With my three we never propped bottles; I enjoy sitting and feeding them. The girls would NEVER hold their own bottle; A. can hold it but since we are down to two bottles a day I do it for him. I enjoy our time sitting in the rocking chair and me feeding him.

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by ChromaKelly

So, not sure which is the more unloving thing, that I wasn't tenderly cradling them while feeding, or that one had to wait while I fed the other.

It's not unloving when the second one isn't hungry yet. I remember maybe three times when mine were hungry at the same time during the day when I was alone. Their feedings have always been 30 minutes apart so the second one really isn't hungry yet when I feed the first one, and I've always fed them on a schedule, so it's rare that they're crying for a bottle before I feed them anyway.

I know it's harder with twins though. I don't think it's a problem to feed them together sometimes, as long as they still get a lot of cuddling time.

[court5505]

I think it would be hard with twins. I don't know what I would do in that situation because I haven't been there.

I do know, however, that the parents I saw today had no other children and were just sitting there, while their daughter drank her bottle in the car seat. There was NO reason they couldn't hold her.

[ChromaKelly]

Originally Posted by Fran27

It's not unloving when the second one isn't hungry yet. I remember maybe three times when mine were hungry at the same time during the day when I was alone. Their feedings have always been 30 minutes apart so the second one really isn't hungry yet when I feed the first one, and I've always fed them on a schedule, so it's rare that they're crying for a bottle before I feed them anyway.

I know it's harder with twins though. I don't think it's a problem to feed them together sometimes, as long as they still get a lot of cuddling time.

Oh believe me, they got (get) LOTS of cuddles! I didn't have them really on a schedule for a while, but their feedings were also normally not at the same time, so needing to feed them together only happened maybe 25% of the time. I just remember feeling like I was going to lose my mind when they were newborns and thinking I wish I could prop a bottle, just once!

I know the "types" you mean though, who prop and feed at the same time all the time.

[feelingreyt]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and defend the parents. Not for propping the bottle, but for not taking the child out of the carrier.
When my 4 yr old was born he was automatically considered "the Church Baby". He was cute, sweet, smelled delicious. Everyone wanted to hold him, touch him, feed him. It drove me nuts. To the point where I literally had panic attacks on the way to Church. Crazy, I know, but I think some of it was PPD. So anyway, someone suggested to me to just not get ds out of his carrier while at Church, that way, no one had the opportunity to come up and ask to hold him. Well, I tried that, but I wasn't a fan of bottle propping, plus he was spoiled and wanted to be held(not spoiled really, he was just VERY used to being cuddled and loved on ALL THE TIME). BUT maybe that is why these people kept the baby in the carrier.... To keep people from asking to hold her/him.
Of course as a mom we have the to right to tell anyone "NO, you can't hold my child", but who wants to appear rude and snobbish with people who are basically your family. My church was small, I knew everyone, loved everyone, it was just a weird phase I went through. Plus, my parents went there was well. I can just hear me now..."No Sis. Marie, you may not hold my son. I only allow 'certain" people to touch him. Please don't be offended". I would imagine she would have been VERY offended. Especially since my older child LOVED her. It wasn't about her anyway, it was me. So yeah, I have to defend these parents and say they very well could have had a reason to keep the child in the carrier. Who knows. But my goodness, as long as the child was happy, who are we to judge?

ETA: It also didn't help that my son was beyond friendly. He would reach for anyone that smiled at him. He is still a people person. He loves everyone! It still kinda drives me nuts, LOL