[loveajax]

I agree with feeling...d would not take to ''propping'' but I had plenty of nieces and nephews who did ...one is about to attend university on a full scholarship..if it doesn't work for you and your kiddo, why would you care?? one thing that drives me nuts is parents ''judging'' others....ps: I had a teenage store clerk tell me dd was too ''old'' for me to be holding her bottle..ack!

[sadiegirl]

My .02:

the situation court described in church, with no other kids=not ok to me

laying the 5 mo old on floor and propping=not ok with me

11-12 mo old and holding their own bottle=ok with me

having twins and can't feed them at the same time=ok to prop.

ETA: how could you NOT want to hold and cuddle a little 2 or 5 month old baby and feed them? THAT I do not get!

[SoniaRose]

I'm on these forums because I'm an adoptee. I have also raised 3 children (biological) who are now grown up.

I admit I propped bottles many times for the younger two children because life was just too hectic. It's very difficult to sit and hold a baby for an extended period of time when an older child is running around the house and getting into trouble.

We used to prop the bottle for the youngest by setting it on a crumpled towel on his chest. The funny part is that our son became "bonded" to his towel -- that towel became his blankie and he carried it with him everywhere. By the way, our son grew up very well adjusted and is now an engineering student in college. And we still have that very threadbare towel. As parents, we just do the best we can. We only have two arms.

Looking back, I was in foster care myself for my first 9 months back in the 50's. I have a letter that the foster parent wrote with instructions for my amom -- she stated that I didn't like to be held when taking my bottle. I thought that a little strange that I didn't like to be held at 8 - 9 months. As far as I remember, my kids all liked to be held. And I did end up having a lot of quality one-on-one time with my youngest in the middle of the night because that's when he would be wide awake.

[court5505]

Originally Posted by feelingreyt

I'm going to go out on a limb here and defend the parents. Not for propping the bottle, but for not taking the child out of the carrier.
When my 4 yr old was born he was automatically considered "the Church Baby". He was cute, sweet, smelled delicious. Everyone wanted to hold him, touch him, feed him. It drove me nuts. To the point where I literally had panic attacks on the way to Church. Crazy, I know, but I think some of it was PPD. So anyway, someone suggested to me to just not get ds out of his carrier while at Church, that way, no one had the opportunity to come up and ask to hold him. Well, I tried that, but I wasn't a fan of bottle propping, plus he was spoiled and wanted to be held(not spoiled really, he was just VERY used to being cuddled and loved on ALL THE TIME). BUT maybe that is why these people kept the baby in the carrier.... To keep people from asking to hold her/him.
Of course as a mom we have the to right to tell anyone "NO, you can't hold my child", but who wants to appear rude and snobbish with people who are basically your family. My church was small, I knew everyone, loved everyone, it was just a weird phase I went through. Plus, my parents went there was well. I can just hear me now..."No Sis. Marie, you may not hold my son. I only allow 'certain" people to touch him. Please don't be offended". I would imagine she would have been VERY offended. Especially since my older child LOVED her. It wasn't about her anyway, it was me. So yeah, I have to defend these parents and say they very well could have had a reason to keep the child in the carrier. Who knows. But my goodness, as long as the child was happy, who are we to judge?

ETA: It also didn't help that my son was beyond friendly. He would reach for anyone that smiled at him. He is still a people person. He loves everyone! It still kinda drives me nuts, LOL

You're right, they could have had a reason that the didn't take her out of the carrier. However, I don't think it was because other people would want to hold her. Our church is very large and most people just know a few other people there. Plus we're Catholic, so you get in and out as fast as you can! Not too many people stand around talking afterwards. However, there could have been a different reason.

[Fran27]

The thing I don't get about propping is how people do it. It would never have worked with mine anyway, they're always looking all over and I'm quite sure the bottle would have ended on the floor every time, lol. Plus with DD's latching issues until she was 4 months, it would have been difficult...

how could you NOT want to hold and cuddle a little 2 or 5 month old baby and feed them? THAT I do not get!

Pretty much!

[joskids]

I was lucky enough to give birth 4 times and, with all of them, I nursed as long as it was reasonable (not when they were old enough to ASK for it). I loved nursing and I wish that every adoptive mother could find a way to do it because it is such a closeness.

That said, with our foster or adopted children, I don't think (I could be forgetting about once or twice) that I EVER propped a bottle. That doesn't make me a saint and it doesn't give me the right to judge others who may feel the need. It's a big deal to me to hold a child when they are sucking either a breast or a bottle because that is such bonding time and I'm not willing to let it go.

As for the comment on the "church baby". BOY, do I know what you mean!!! Our Natalie was also considered the "church baby", particularly because her adoption was contested and the entire church prayed for us to keep her. It's difficult to teach a child to behave in church when others are oohing and awwing about her in church and everyone wants to hold and coddle her. We let it happen at times but now that she's nearly 3, we keep her with us in order that she doesn't think the world revolves around her. It's hard enough not spoiling her when we came so close to loosing her.

I wouldn't judge someone who props a bottle, everyone must have their reasons, maybe that baby on the original post had reflux and needed to sit a certain way in order to digest her bottle. But in any case that I could, I certainly would hold a bottle in order to feel that connection that is so special. But then, I'm very selfish when it comes to that time with an infant that flies by much too quickly and they become toddlers who don't WANT to be held.

[Beautyqueen616]

The only thing that bothers me with propping a bottle is the fact that it can lead to cronic ear infections. When I was still with my mom and dad before grandma took me my mom always propped my bottle. I have hearing loss and significant ear problems. She did not do that with my brother but did with my sister and she has always had problems with her ears, she did it with her baby who now has tubes.

Kiernan actually started holding her bottle at about 5 months old, I still tried to hold her and at night rock her and feed her but she is very "I'll do it myself" and always has been. I never left her in bed by herself until she was 6 months old with a bottle though. I've been told and read that after 6 months if they can hold thier own you are fine to put them down with it. She just would not tolerate being held and rocked to sleep anymore. She's Miss Independent.

[aclee]

Originally Posted by court5505

You're right, they could have had a reason that the didn't take her out of the carrier. However, I don't think it was because other people would want to hold her. Our church is very large and most people just know a few other people there. Plus we're Catholic, so you get in and out as fast as you can! Not too many people stand around talking afterwards. However, there could have been a different reason.

She could have stayed in the carrier and one of them HELD the bottle? At least then there is a connection, and a concern, and interaction.

[Sohmakun]

Two Words: Choking Hazard

If you must prop the bottle then please watch your babies (and I'm pretty sure everyone is doing this already ).

[Ladyofmoonlight]

I've never had a tiny one so I've never even had the option to prop a bottle, but I really can't see doing it without a reason. Having a really tired day and just need a momentary break? Sure. Have other kids to watch, a meal to prepare, a house to clean? Sure. Sick? Sure. I guess I can see a lot of reasons to prop a bottle, but I can't see many good reasons to do it regularly.

Honestly, when I think of propping bottles it just brings to mind images of third world orphanages where there's two nannies to a room full of infants and they have to prop the bottles just to feed them all. I've read too many reports of volunteers finding babies soaked with formula from a spilled bottle and laying there crying in metal cribs with no nannies available. Yeah, it's a bit extreme when compared to kids over here sitting right near loving parents and being watched and cared for even with a propped bottle, but it still gives me the willies.

[buttascotchbaby]

Wow. People really are judgemental -and so many perfect parents on here! It is a little daunting.

Soooo, here is a post from an imperfect parent. I have propped and probably would again. I would prefer -most times- to be able to hold and cuddle the baby to feed but there are a few times when that is not possible. I had a FD who came to me at 4 months who DID NOT LIKE TO CUDDLE. I had her until she was about 2.5 y.o. and she never was a cuddler. She would give a hug and kiss and be off but didn't like to linger She would not take the bottle from me with me cuddling her. I had to lie her down next to me and hold the bottle for her when she fed. I also, at that time, car pooled for one of my sons, three days a week and we would be in the car for over 2 hours each time. I propped for her then. ANYTHING to keep her content, quiet and happy for that yucky 2+ hours! If she was hungry when we had the other kids in the car one of them would hold her bottle for her, otherwise I propped it for her and she was fine.

You just never know why another parent is doing something and as long as it is not endangering the child (yes, a choking hazard is a reality but if the parent is sitting next to the child I would think that the hazard is not really a danger) maybe it is best not to judge too harshly. Just my .02.

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by buttascotchbaby

Wow. People really are judgemental -and so many perfect parents on here! It is a little daunting.

Just because some people have a different opinion doesn't mean they consider themselves perfect. I'd say it's two totally unrelated things really. I'm sure we all do things that not everyone agrees with, and I'm quite sure none of us is perfect (even me ).

[Sohmakun]

Originally Posted by buttascotchbaby

Wow. People really are judgemental -and so many perfect parents on here! It is a little daunting.

Soooo, here is a post from an imperfect parent. I have propped and probably would again. I would prefer -most times- to be able to hold and cuddle the baby to feed but there are a few times when that is not possible. I had a FD who came to me at 4 months who DID NOT LIKE TO CUDDLE. I had her until she was about 2.5 y.o. and she never was a cuddler. She would give a hug and kiss and be off but didn't like to linger She would not take the bottle from me with me cuddling her. I had to lie her down next to me and hold the bottle for her when she fed. I also, at that time, car pooled for one of my sons, three days a week and we would be in the car for over 2 hours each time. I propped for her then. ANYTHING to keep her content, quiet and happy for that yucky 2+ hours! If she was hungry when we had the other kids in the car one of them would hold her bottle for her, otherwise I propped it for her and she was fine.

You just never know why another parent is doing something and as long as it is not endangering the child (yes, a choking hazard is a reality but if the parent is sitting next to the child I would think that the hazard is not really a danger) maybe it is best not to judge too harshly. Just my .02.

I didn't post my comment to start passing judgement on people I just said that its a choking hazard and if the parents are nearby then there should be no worries... where did you get the impression I was judging you?

[slugbug0930]

I haven't ever tried propping her bottle up but DD loves to hold her own bottle. She actually is a take charge kind of baby. She started holding her own bottle about 2 months ago. At 7 months she wants to take her spoon away from you and try to feed herself. She will throw a little fit if you try to hold the bottle for her.....unless she is very tired. So we try to compromise.....she holds the bottle and we hold her Though sometimes it is a trial to get her to let us hold her. She is just very independant & really isn't into cuddling unless she is very tired.

[jules17]

Okay, color me stupid, but what does "propping" look like? I can imagine by the name, but what are you propping with/against?

I am so clueless.

I have always held our sons for bottles and now for night milk.

So I haven't propped, but don't judge those who have.

But can someone explain it to me? (without judging me for my questionable IQ...LOL)